Albretsen/Form/2 Brooke Albretsen about 3200 words jovianb@gmail.com Brandon Sanderson says, “Good writers are better revisers than writers, especially discovery writers” (Sanderson 2012). There are books on creativity, about “shutting off the inner critic” or “free-writing,” and on letting the words flow, but learning to revise is more difficult. Analyzing form in novels can help with creating a successful plot. A plot’s tension keeps a reader’s attention, which keeps them reading. Methods of plotting can show where the tension falls too far, thus showing where a reader may lose interest. Successful plots tend to conform to one of the following plotting methods: The Inverted Checkmark, the Fichtean curve, Three Act Format, Hero’s Journey, Brandon Sanderson’s Plotting Method, MICE Quotient, and The Three Draft Method. The Inverted Checkmark maps the tension in a plot following a graph that looks like an inverted checkmark. The tension increases until the climax. The conflict begins at the bottom of the checkmark or exposition, and increases by complications, or situation, until what may also be known as the crisis. At the crisis, the “power struggle has been decided; the outcome is inevitable…Nothing will be the same again” (Burroway et al 242). After the crisis is falling action or anticlimax and the resolution or dénouement follow the climax. A novel that illustrates the Inverted Checkmark is Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater. The exposition happens as a flashback Grace has about being attacked by wolves when she was a child. A wolf with yellow eyes protected her from the others. The rising action begins when Albretsen/Form/3 wolves attack Jack, a boy from Grace’s school. The town decides the wolves are dangerous and should be eradicated. Grace tries to stop the shootings. A major crisis occurs when one of the hunters shoots Sam as a wolf. Another major crisis occurs when Jack becomes a werewolf instead of dying, but one who doesn’t follow the rules and risks revealing their secret. Tension builds when Grace gets in a fight with one of her best friends, Olivia, because Olivia thinks Grace’s obsession that the wolves are werewolves is crazy. The reader learns that Sam’s parents rejected him when he became a werewolf. The climax occurs when Sam almost turns into a wolf because of the cold, and Grace is forced to put him in the bathtub of warm water only bathtubs terrify Sam because his parents tried to kill him by slitting his wrists in a bathtub when they discovered he was a werewolf. Originally in Dreams in Eternal Sunset, when Marie first went to Riverside, Ryder’s parents had already been taken which dropped too much tension at the front. Ryder should have acted immediately, and then the story would have been too short, delaying his parents’ rescue made the tension fall. After revising, his parents are taken later, building tension as the novel progresses. Now the novel’s climax fits within this definition of crisis. Ryder sacrifices himself to defeat Maxwell and free his family members, friends, and neighbors. The plot should force Ryder to see his sacrifice as his only choice. The Fichtean curve is similar to the Inverted Checkmark. The x-axis represents “the course the character would take if he cared only for safety and stability” (Gardner 187). The incline represents “the course of action our character does take, struggling against odds and braving conflict” (Gardner 187) with forces that work against the character’s will, and other forces supporting him in his enterprise. The incline “moves through a series of increasingly Albretsen/Form/4 intense climaxes” (Gardner 188), represented by points or peaks. The largest peak, like in the Inverted Checkmark is the climactic moment, and the decline is the denouement. Disney’s The Lion King follows the Fichtean curve. The incline or rising action divided into four crisis, each with higher stakes than the one before. The first crisis in The Lion King comes when Simba goes to the elephant graveyard. Not only do hyenas threaten Simba, but this smaller tension adds to the bigger, overarching tension of the story, that of Simba versus Scar since Scar tricked Simba into going to the elephant graveyard and alerted the hyenas to his presence. The second crisis happens when Scar kills Mufasa and tells Simba it was his fault, again adding a situational tension and the overall tension between Scar and Simba. Crisis three arises when Nala, who has left the pride because of its poor conditions, finds the grown Simba and confronts him about how he abandoned his pride. The third crisis foreshadows how Simba will have to face Scar, who has taken over the pride. The fourth crisis occurs when Simba faces the choice of living carefree or facing the consequences of his actions. To add to the rising tension, Mufasa’s ghost arrives to remind Simba of who he really is. The climax comes when Simba faces Scar and with the big reveal that Scar really killed Mufasa. Simba realizes that everything that happened was Scar’s fault, not his own, and accepts the truth and defeats Scar. The denouement is when Simba takes his place as king and continues the circle of life. The land and animals return and the land heals. This method of plotting emphasizes the need for smaller crises to add to the overall tension and to be certain that the crises become more intense as the novel moves forward. The first major crisis in Dreams in Eternal Sunset occurs when Marie travels to Riverside for real and not just in a dream. Maxwell had recently attacked and killed one of Ryder’s dragons, dragons Albretsen/Form/5 that Ryder needs to free the people of Riverside. This crisis shows the tension between Ryder and Maxwell as well as Ryder dealing with a dragon’s death. The second major crisis occurs when Marie returns to Riverside to find Ryder and his father missing after they went to search for Maxwell’s island. The tension increases because one of Maxwell’s men kills another dragon and injures Ryder’s father. They also fail to find the island. The third major crisis happens when Maxwell kidnaps Ryder’s mother, other crises hit a climax at the same time because Marie realizes she is in love with Ryder, and in the real world her brother faces a divorce. The final crisis and climax arises when Ryder sets off to fight with Maxwell, only Marie realizes that he intends to sacrifice himself. She goes along with him putting both of them at risk. Three Act Format shows when a movie, play or book takes place in three acts. The introduction in the first act ends when the main character becomes proactive. Escalation contains rising tension, the stakes increase, and try/fail cycles. Act two ends at the lowest point or moment of failure. In the climax within act three any multiple plots intersect, and the tension is resolved (Sanderson 2020). An example of the Three Act Format is The Hunger Games series, not only because each book is divided into three acts, but the series is divided into three books. Part One of The Hunger Games introduces the reader to Katniss and her world, and then the Capital and the idea of the games. Part Two of The Hunger Games begins when Katniss enters the Games. The Games are already full of tension because they are essentially a fight to the death. Part Two ends just after Rue’s death, which undoes Katniss, and then the announcement that two tributes can win if they’re from the same district. Katniss realized that she and Peeta can win but Peeta is also a big liability for Katniss because of the severity of his injury. The climax is when the rule that two Albretsen/Form/6 tributes can win is rescinded, and Peeta tells Katniss to win, to kill him. Book I ends with Katniss returning to District 12 after she and Peeta have won the Games. It works as an introduction because the reader sees the problems with the world of Panem. Catching Fire is the Act Two of the series. It ends with Katniss being saved from the arena, that the rebellion chose to save her, to make her their representative. The rebels were unable to save Peeta, a very low point for Katniss. The climax of the series occurs in Mockingjay when Katniss is poised to kill Snow and instead turns her arrow on President Coin. Dreams in Eternal Sunset doesn’t follow the Three Act Format. The study of the format did point out the importance of the main character becoming proactive. Marie becomes proactive when she faces her fear of dragon riding when she rides Smoke to look for Ryder and Colton after they do not return after looking for the island. The Hero’s Journey is Joseph Campbell’s theory that most if not all myths follow 17 steps in creating their plot. Campbell said, “A hero ventures forth from the world of common day in to a region of supernatural wonder: fabulous forces are there encountered and decisive victory is won: the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow men” (Campbell 23). It relates to the Three Act Format in that the 17 steps fit within Three Acts: Departure, Initiation, and The Return. Most people are familiar with The Hero’s Journey. Some famous stories that follow it are Star Wars and Harry Potter (wikipedia.com). Dreams in Eternal Sunset follows a lot of these steps. Marie’s call to action is Emily trying to get her to date again. She refuses. Her supernatural aid comes in the form of her dreams. Then, she travels through the dream to Ryder’s world, the Unknown. Her Belly of the Whale moment comes when she and Ryder are looking for Maxwell’s island, and she doesn’t Albretsen/Form/7 return home when she falls asleep but stays with Ryder. The novel does not have a Meeting with a Goddess, but every step is not required. The double date could be seen as the Temptation because she could choose Chris over Ryder. Marie’s greater understanding comes in two moments, one when she realizes that she has loved Ryder for some time and when she realizes that Ryder intends to sacrifice himself to save the others. She wants to stay with Ryder and would except that he dies, leaving her with no choice but to return. Interestingly, this begins Ryder’s version of the Hero’s Journey when he enters our world, which is the Unknown to him. Sanderson’s Method developed by Brandon Sanderson is a hybrid of discovery writing and outlining. He calls it “Points on the Map” or “floating outline” method. He sees it as a good way to have some of the organization of an outline without losing spontaneity. He mentions that he “needs an ending before I can being writing… I write for endings (faq.brandonsanderson.com). He makes a map of the important scenes, the points on the map, in order, then he bullet points the senes using them to focus how the plot is going to occur. Next he looks at the map and decides what has to happen before each of these scenes can occur. He adds new bullet points as more becomes clear from writing and exploring. He also includes bullet points for character progression, focusing on big changes, imagining where he wants the characters to be at the ending. He includes bullet points for foreshadowing and revealing information. He finds that “since I already know what is IN the chapter, I can focus on how to get the information across in a way that shows character, reveals plot, and illustrates the world” (faq.brandonsanderson.com). Brandon Sanderson says he enjoys writing a lot more than he likes rewriting (Lecture #3). His hybrid method allows for more writing in the first draft and less rewriting. Learning to Albretsen/Form/8 start with a map of the plot can make rewriting easier and less time-consuming. The scenes the author knows to be important can guide them through the rest of the story. “The direction provided by the outline gives the writer the ability to focus more on writing a cleaner scene the first time” (Sanderson Lecture #3). The MICE Quotient assumes that “all stories contain four elements that can determine structure: Milieu, Idea, Character, and Event” (Card 76). The structure is determined by which of the elements the author wants to focus on. Orson Scott Card defines the Milieu story as “An observer who will see things as we would see them gets to the strange place, sees all the things that are interesting, is transformed by what he sees, and then comes back a new man” (Card 76). An example of a Milieu story is The Hobbit. Bilbo reluctantly leaves the comfort of the Shire into what to him is a strange world. He has adventures, defeats a dragon, and gains the treasure of the ring. He then returns to the safety of the Shire. The Idea Story “begins by raising a question; it ends when the question is answered” (Card 77). Mystery novels are Idea Stories. The television show, Castle, follows a writer who accompanies a murder detective for inspiration for his novels. Each episode is an Idea Story. They start with a body, the questions raised are: “Who killed them? With what? Why?” The episode ends when Castle solves the mystery and finds the answers to the questions. The Character Story is “a story about the transformation of a character’s role in the communities that matter most to him” (Card 79). An example of the Character Story is The Wizard of Oz. Dorthy is dissatisfied with her life. She is bored of Kansas and wants adventure. By the end, she wants to go home and realizes that she can be happy with her normal life in Albretsen/Form/9 Kansas and that the adventure was actually too much for her. A Character Story ends “when the character either settles into a new role or gives up the struggle and remains in the old role” (Card 80). Dorthy decides she likes her old life. “In the Event Story, something is wrong in the fabric of the universe, the world is out of order” (Card 81). Much of Shakespeare’s plays are Event Stories, In Hamlet, the king was murdered by his brother, and in Macbeth, a guest is killed by his host. “The Event Story ends at the point where a new order is established, or, more rarely, where the old order is restored, or, rarest of all, where the world descends into chaos as the forces of order are destroyed” (Card 81). Hamlet removes the usurper and reestablishes the kingdom. Macbeth is killed to restore proper order. This theory of plotting is more complicated in the case of Dreams in Eternal Sunset because it could, technically, fit in Milieu, Character, or Event, but as Card discusses “The most important thing is that you must end the story that you begin” (Card 83). He suggests that if you get bogged down only a few pages or chapters into it…pretty good sign that you’re using the wrong structure” (Card 84). Dreams in Eternal Sunset is a Milieu story as defined by Card. “An observer who will see things as we would see them gets to the strange place, sees all the things that are interesting, is transformed by what he sees, and then comes back a new man” (Card 76). So, the beginning point is “when the stranger arrives…and the ending is just as plain—the story doesn’t end until he leaves… or decides to leave” (Card 77). In the case of Dreams in Eternal Sunset, Ryder’s death signals no reason for Marie to stay. Matt Bell is a discovery writer. His method works best for someone who is a discovery writer only. Bell says, “I’ve come to believe that revision and rewriting are most of what good Albretsen/Form/10 writing entails” (3). He refers to the first draft as an “exploratory draft” (Bell 7). He explains that he feels “knowing too much detail in advance hems me in” (Bell 7). He suggests “not to let any of these organization schemes constrain you too early…listen to the pages..sooner or later the pages begin to play back” (Bell 10). This method can be freeing and could help against writer’s block because outlines can be constraining. The second draft can be the most difficult. Bell suggests that the rough draft is the map that Sanderson talks about in his method. “The first draft isn’t the book I’m writing, only a sort of one-to-one scale model of it, not the novel itself but an idea of what the novel could be” (Bell 80). He outlines “what already exists” (Bell 82) or what is shown in the first draft. He says to do the outline in the voice of the novel so that it feels “more like writing… keeps my thinking closer to the novel’s sensibilities” (Bell 83). The outline is used to discover what the story and action are, showing “cause-and-effect” and the “beats” of the story (Bell 83). This helps with pacing and identifying important points like the inciting incident. Bell goes on to say that the writer should identify the novel’s plot structure and to make the events in the outline better fit that structure. Knowing how to structure a novel would be a necessary step in the process. Once the outline is arranged correctly, Bell says to “write the novel” (Bell 89). He is using the first draft to create the outline used in many of the other writing methods. This is the most useful, then, when the writer has a hard time outlining or doesn’t know the direction of the book. After this project, I found the most effective way of writing seems to be to start with, at the very least, a map of the novel’s plot so that the focus can be on the writing. Though, the map should allow for enough freedom to explore the characters and to deviate from the map when the characters move an author to do so. This method requires less revision and rewriting. Albretsen/Form/11 References Albretsen, Brooke. Dreams in Eternal Sunset. Yet to be published. Bell, Matt. Refuse to Be Done, How to Write and Rewrite a Novel in Three Drafts. Soho Press, New York, 2022. brandonsanderson.com Burroway, Janet, et al. Writing Fiction A Guide to Narrative Craft Ninth Edition. Pearson, 2015. Card, Orson Scott. How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy. Writer’s Digest Books, Cincinnati, Ohio, 1990. Castle produced by ABC from 2009-2016. Collins, Suzanne. Catching Fire. Scholastic Press, New York, 2010 Collins, Suzanne. The Hunger Games. Scholastic Press, New York, 2008. Collins, Suzanne. Mockingjay. Scholastic Press, New York, 2009. Gardner, John. The Art of Fiction. Vintage Books, New York, 1983. Langley, Noel, et al. The Wizard of Oz. Metro Goldwyn Mayer Presents, 1939. Lion King, Disney, 2005. Sanderson, Brandon. Elantris. Tor Fantasy, New York, 2005. Sanderson, Brandon. “Lecture #3: Plot Part 2-Brandon Sanderson Writing Science Fiction and Fantasy 2020 uploaded by Brandon Sanderson. youtube.com. Shakespeare, William. Hamlet. Shakespeare, William. Macbeth. Albretsen/Form/12 Tolkien, J.R.R. The Hobbit. Houghton Mifflin Company, Original Copyright 1937 by George Allen and Unwin Ltd. wikipedia.com Albretsen/Form/13 Dream Travelers: Dreams in Eternal Sunset by Brooke Albretsen Prologue The dream starts in a meadow. It’s near dusk, the remaining light captured along the horizon. The sky all reds and oranges. The clouds purples. The sun doesn’t sink any lower. The sky stays shades of red. A large tree with white and pink blossoms grows near the meadows center, and from it hangs ropes, holding up a wooden swing. I love to swing. It’s so freeing to feel the breeze through my brown and auburn hair. I like to wear it loose when I swing, and even as I think it, the piggy-tails disappear, and it’s loose. I boost my seven-year-old self into the wooden swing and push off with my feet. I pump my legs, get higher and higher. I like to see how high I can go, try to touch the sky. Then a boy’s on the edge of the meadow. His sandy blond hair is unruly and a lock hangs in his face. His eyes are blue like the sky, no the ocean, the deep ocean. “Hi,” I say. “High? What does that mean, high? Like how high you can swing?” the boy asks. “No, no, like hello.” “Hello?” “Yeah, like hello, hi, how are you?” I drop my feet into the dirt, dragging them until the swing comes to a stop. “Oh, it’s a greeting, like ‘how are you?’ or ‘good evening.’” “Yes, like that. I’m Marie Jordan.” “I’m Rider.” He smiles, and his eyes are like the sun dancing on the waves. Albretsen/Form/14 “Rider like you ride horses? Or Writer like you make books?” He shrugs. “Like horses, I guess. My pa’s the blacksmith.” “Can’t be. Rider is much too common of a name. I guess I can accept it if it has a y. Ryder with a y, okay.” “With a y then. I don’t see how it matters.” “Want to swing?” I look around and remember there isn’t another swing. Only it’s a dream. “Sure.” We both look up to the branch above our heads. The branch lengthens, fattens, and two more ropes drop down and end in a wooden seat. Ryder pulls himself into it, only standing instead of sitting. “Bet I can swing higher!” I run before pulling myself into the swing. “No, way, I’ll go higher.” He moves his entire body until he is quite high, then he sits. * * * I’m standing in the sand where the ocean washes over my feet when the waves are large. The sand is damp, squishing between my bare toes. The sky is coral pinks and soft lavender purples. The perpetual sunset—or is it sunrise—that accompanies these dreams. Farther down the beach is an outcropping of rocks, the tops of which extend out over the water. It asks to be climbed. Albretsen/Form/15 I make my way along the water’s edge until I meet the rocks. Still barefoot, I have to watch my step, avoid the sharp rocks. At the top, one of the rocks has a flatter shape than the others. I balance on the one beside it and sit with my feet hanging over the edge, above the water. “Marie?” I turn to see Ryder making his way over the rocks. “It’s good to see you. It’s been a while.” He sits down beside me, smiling. “Hi.” I smile back. “Good evening.” “Is it evening? Or is it early morning? I’m never sure.” “Evening. Here the sun sets over the ocean.” I nod. “How are you?” “Good. How are you?” I shrug. “Fine, I guess.” We sit in companionable silence. I swing my feet back and forth over the water. It’s peaceful. A good sleep. “What kind of things do you like to do?” I slow my swinging feet. “I like to swim.” He gestures toward the water. “I do too. I don’t get to do it a lot though. Usually just on summer vacations.” “What do you like to do then?” He’s still beside me. “Draw. Paint. Anything art really.” “Yeah?” I turn to him.“Is that bad?” Albretsen/Form/16 “No, just not something I get around to much. Writing is difficult enough. I don’t know how long it’d take me to get enough dye to paint something.” “I don’t know what you mean. I go to the store and buy paint. I’ve been doing a lot of watercolor lately.” I watch my barefoot over the waves. “I’d love to paint that sky. The pink would need a touch of orange…” “We get a lot of nice sunsets in Riverside, but the dream’s ones are different, wonderful.” “Riverside? Is that where you’re from?” “Of course.” I shrug. “I didn’t know. Where do you go to school?” “You go somewhere to school? My mother teaches us to read and write. Next year I’ll start apprenticing for my father, the blacksmith, if that counts as school.” I turn on him. “A blacksmith? What is Riverside a place in a storybook? I thought you were real all this time.” “I am real.” “You aren’t just a dream?” “No, and neither are you.” I turn back to look at the ocean reflecting the sky. “How do you know?” “I just do.” “But aren’t we dreaming?” “Yeah, I mean we are asleep. But this is somewhere between.” I swing my right leg once. “Between what?” He shrugs. “Your world and mine. Dreams can do that.” Albretsen/Form/17 “So you aren’t just showing up in my dreams.” “No, and you aren’t just showing up in mine. We are somewhere else.” I pull my legs up from over the edge. “How do you know?” “I guess I don’t know. But I know my grandfather used to tell stories about other worlds, places so different from Riverside. He met my grandmother in the in-between world.” “Sure he did.” I stand and brush sand from my behind. “Dreams are weird.” I step to the edge of the rocks and look down into the water. I put my hands together and point them over my head. “Should I?” “Jump? If you want to.” I drop my hands and look down again. “What if it isn’t deep enough?” “It’s just a dream, right?” He squints at me. I point my hands over my head and look up at my palms, but I stop, frozen. Something flies overhead. Something huge and golden with wings shaped like a bat’s but with a lizard’s tail and spikes down its back. “What in all that is holy is that?” Ryder turns his squint to the sky. “The dragon?” “You have dragons too.” “Yeah, don’t you?” “Um, no.” The creature flies on. I turn back to my dive and throw myself into the ocean. Albretsen/Form/18 * * * The sky is dark, not the usual sunset where I find Ryder. It must be just after sunset, but in the distance there are flickering lights, like at Christmas around the fireplace. I’m not on the beach or in the meadow. The road through Riverside is dirt or hardened mud shaped like footpaths and divots and horses’ hooves. In the direction of the flickering light is a lot of noise. Screaming. Yelling. Crying. Not good sounds. Fear rises in my throat like bile, but it is just a dream, right? I follow the dirt road and the chaotic sounds, wondering if Ryder is here somewhere. I come around a bend in the road. Some of the little wooden homes on the far side of the street are burning. Men are hauling water and throwing it on the fires. Women are holding crying babies and gripping the arms of screaming children. Farther down, one of the large, golden dragons is breathing fire onto another home. Above me, another golden dragon flies, gripping a man in its talons. It isn’t a dream. It’s a nightmare. I don’t know what to do. There’s nothing I can do to help. I don’t have water or some way to fight a dragon. And I don’t see Ryder anywhere. I stay back, not wanting to get myself taken away by one of the terrifying dragons. A screaming child escapes her mother’s grasp and starts back toward her burning home, crying out about some possession she had to leave behind. Her mother catches up to her telling her they’ll have to get her another one. I duck behind an old, large tree, not wanting anything to do with the chaos. Another dragon flies off, dragging a woman off in its claws. I don’t know why the dragons are taking the Albretsen/Form/19 people. As the dragon passes over me, I notice a large man on the golden dragon’s back. The people are taking other people. Why? I walk to a different street, one in the opposite direction as the beach. There’s less craziness along this road. No homes are on fire. Instead, no one is around. Doors are closed. Windows barred. I don’t see anyone, let alone Ryder. I don’t understand what is going on. The next road is like the second one, no people outside. Everything looks deserted. Not even an animal in sight. A dragon flies over me again, and I duck behind another tree. I don’t want to be mistaken for whoever is being taken from Riverside. The houses are all wooden, and I don’t know which one Ryder lives in. Another street over also has homes closed up, no one outside. Short of calling for him, I don’t know how to even look for Ryder. Maybe if I could find the blacksmith place—not an office—shop? Nothing. All I see are homes. No shops. A barn or two. I don’t know how long I wander through Riverside, hiding from dragons and searching for a blacksmith shop. The town seems to only have homes. At some point, I wake from the dream. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know who is tormenting the people of Riverside. Chapter 1: We’re riding in Emily’s ancient brown Toyota Camry on our way to school. She’s driving a bit too fast because we’re running late, as usual. Emily isn’t the most timely of people, especially to school. She’s more worried about the fit of her clothes and whether or not her hair looks right for the day. She has on a tiny black, crop-top under an unbuttoned flannel and low slung jeans, something I would never have the courage to wear. Albretsen/Form/20 She can’t stop talking about Matthew, her latest crush, but I’ve heard it all before. She’s always trying to date someone or getting over someone or both. She goes through boys like I do tubes of paint. I don’t bother to learn any details about them until they’ve been around for more than a month. Mostly it’s just a stream of baseball and basketball players. “Marie, hey, Marie? Did you hear anything I just said?” Emily’s voice breaks into my reverie. “Huh?” I run my hand over the car’s worn interior in an attempt to reorient myself. “Just say that last part again.” “Well, I was saying that Matthew came over last night.” She turns too sharp into the parking lot. “For tutoring?” “Well, at first, but then he stayed around.” She finds a park near the back of the lot. “Yeah?” I get tangled in the seatbelt when it won’t retract. “We talked for two hours.” That’s how they all start. Everything he said was probably a lie. “He likes some of the same music as me, not just pop like everybody else, but rock, even some old stuff.” She reaches around her seat to get her backpack. “He likes action movies, but he’s a guy, so that’s to be expected.” She slides out of the car, closing the door behind her. “I wonder what else he does like every other guy.” I sling my own paint-splattered pack on my back and get out of the car. I doubt she hears me, but it doesn’t matter. “I don’t know his reputation. Is he a drinker?” Albretsen/Form/21 She sighs. “They aren’t all like Dave. I’ve never dated an alcoholic.” She starts back in about Matthew and his favorites as we cross the parking lot. I stop listening around favorite movie. We reach the school as the first bell rings. I open the door and gave her a dirty look. “Anyway, he has this friend, Chris, that went through a break-up pretty recently.” We reach our lockers and Emily opens hers. “He thinks it’d be good for him to go out. Kinda like you.” I distract myself by opening my locker. “So, would you double with me? Go out with Chris?” I lean into my locker to avoid answering and to hang up my hoodie. “It’s just one date.” I groan and am slow to come out of my locker. “Come on. It’d be good for you.” She slams her locker. “I just don’t want to get behind in school.” Or develop feelings for anyone. “We wouldn’t go out on a school night, silly. My parents wouldn’t let me anyway. And it’ll be fun.” I frown and slam my locker. “Will it though?” “Now you’re being lame.” “And we’re going to be late.” I start off down the hall. She hurries to catch up. “Please.” “I can’t get into a relationship right now.” I can’t open myself up like that again. “Then when can you? Friday? Next Friday? A month from now?” Albretsen/Form/22 “You know how I get at the start of a relationship. I can’t be like that.” I can’t be like that ever again. “Yeah, you do get kind of—preoccupied.” “Spacey, I get spacey.” And then at the end of a relationship I get despondent. “A.P. American History will be the end of me if I get spacey.” “I’m not saying start a relationship. I’m just asking for one double date.” We reach the classroom and I take my usual seat. “At least think about it.” * * * At lunch I wait through the salad line then search for Emily. She brings lunch from home, it’s cheaper. She’s seated with some girls from our A.P. English class. The conversation moves around me since I’m not listening but focused on eating. About halfway through my salad, Emily elbows me. “Do you see Matthew?” I glance in the direction of the baseball team, not really caring. “The guy talking to him right now is Chris.” I look up, knowing that if I don’t Emily won’t let it go. Chris is tall and dressed in a baseball jersey and matching baseball cap. All sports, exactly not my type. “Why are you always trying to get me to date jocks?” She frowns. “I like jocks.” “I don’t.” I return to my salad. “Think of it as a favor to me. I’ll owe you. I won’t make you go out with him again either. It’s just the once to get me in with Matthew.” Albretsen/Form/23 “You aren’t going to let this go are you.” “I’m wearing you down, aren’t I?” “What would we be doing?” I drive my fork hard into a crouton. “We could just go to the football game, no pressure there, right?” I crunch down on the crouton. “More sports? “What do you want to do then? I didn’t think you’d go for a movie. He might try to hold your hand or something in the dark.” I push my salad bowl to the middle of the table. “I thought he just went through a breakup, is he going to try to put moves on me so soon? If so, I’m out.” “I don’t know how fast he moves. I’ve never been out with him. Besides, he might like you. As crazy as that sounds, he might enjoy your company and want to hold your hand.” “It’s not happening. You said it was just a date.” “So, the football game is safer. He’ll be distracted by the game. It’ll be easier for you to sit farther away from him, it’s just better.” “Fine.” I stand pushing my chair back too hard. It crashes to the ground. I stand it up before going to dump my salad bowl. * * * After school Emily and I meet up at our lockers. I drag my sweatshirt from the back and tie it around my waist. It’s the time of year where the mornings are cool, but it’s too hot by afternoon to wear anything but short sleeves. Albretsen/Form/24 I close my locker. Emily leans against hers, smiling like her scholarship money has come through. “The date is on.” I suppress a groan. “It’ll be fun,” she says, reading my expression. “Matthew’s excited, and he pointed you out to Chris. He thinks you’re cute.” She bounces on her toes. The groan gets out this time. “You promised, only one date. And if he tries anything, I will throw my shoes at him.” “Right. I’ll have Matthew warn him of your more violent tendencies.” I’m slow to follow. I can’t get out of it now. I don’t say anything else on the way to the car or the ride to my house. Emily goes on about options for what she might wear. I’m only halflistening, wondering instead what I’ll say to Chris at the end of the night so that he doesn’t ask for my number or something. Ben’s silver Infiniti QX60 is in front of the closed third car garage when Emily pulls into the driveway. It’s out of place there, trapping my car. “Did you know Ben was going to be here?” “Nobody tells me anything.” I throw my door open. I have no idea why my brother would be at the house. “Can I come in for a minute? I haven’t seen Ben in ages.” She’s out of the car before I even respond. “Yeah.” Albretsen/Form/25 The front door is unlocked, and Emily lets herself in with me behind her. Ben looks like he never left. He’s reclined on the sectional, drinking a mug of tea. “Hey, Ben.” I drop my backpack near the hall to the bedrooms. Emily is already positioned on the sectional where she can see Ben. “Hi!” She had a crush on Ben when we were little, but it turned more into him being the big brother she never had. Emily is the oldest of five. I perch on the arm of the sectional beside Emily. “What’re you doing here? Mom and Dad won’t be home for hours.” “Oh, I’m going to stay here for a bit.” His eyes shift from me to Emily and back again. “Is Callie here too? How is she?” Emily turns more toward Ben, though I think it’s unconscious. “No, Callie’s—busy. We’re both really busy.” “Is that why she isn’t here too?” I pull my feet up onto the couch near Emily. She smacks my foot playfully. Ben’s eyes dart to Emily again. “Yeah, she’s real busy.” He puts his mug down on a coaster on the coffee table. “How are Em and M?” It’s what he took to calling us when we were little and inseparable. “She’s trying to get me to date a baseball player. After all these years, she still doesn’t know my type.” “What position does he play?” His attention shifts completely to Emily. “Mine? Shortstop. Marie’s plays third base.” “It wouldn’t hurt you to go out,” Ben says. “How long has it been?” Albretsen/Form/26 “I’d really rather not discuss my dating life with my brother. I don’t need everybody telling me what to do.” I look at Emily. Emily stands. “I should go anyway.” She glides to the front door. I turn my attention to Ben. “So, what’s really going on?” I know him too well to think that he’s hanging out at our house without good reason. He leans back into the couch until he’s looking up at the ceiling. “Things aren’t good right now.” He pushes his bare toe into the leg of the coffee table. “Callie and I are— we’re in therapy and kind of, separated right now.” “Did she throw you out?” “No, it was mutual, at the advise of our therapist. We’re dating. It’s like we are starting over, finding why we fell in love and if it’s still there.” He looks at me. “I’m winning her over.” “Gee, all this talk of the joy of relationships really makes me want to go on a date this Friday with some guy that isn’t even my type.” “It’s a free meal or whatever. Just go with it. Try to have some fun.” “Well,” I push off the couch. “Your room’s the same as always.” I start down the hall but stop. “Are you still going to school and all that?” “Yeah. I won’t be in your way. I’ll just be commuting to the U for a while.” I don’t like seeing Ben and Callie having problems. It only confirms to me that the voice in the back of my head that tells me that relationships don’t last is correct. Chapter 2: My mom knocks before poking her head into my room, causing the drawing of two children on swings in the sunset to quiver on my otherwise plain door. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Albretsen/Form/27 The glowing red numbers on the clock read eleven ten. “Probably, but my first A.P. American History test is tomorrow. It’s on the American Revolution, and I’m stressing.” She pushes the door in farther. “But if you don’t get enough sleep, it’ll hurt your performance too.” “Yeah, I know. Just a couple more topics.” I skim through my notes. “The Currency Act of 1764…” I jerk awake. It’s eleven thirtytwo. But I’m worried about where Mr. Gardner will pull the essay question from. “The Native Americans sided with the British, but most didn’t actually fight…” I yawn and my eyes flit open and then closed. * * * I walk into history class, only the room is set up more like my art classroom, with tables instead of individual desks. Emily is at one on the second row, so I sit next to her. At the front of the room, perched on Mr. Gardner’s desk, an oversized eagle watches me walk to the table. Only the eagle is built like Mr. Gardner, wide-shouldered and narrow-waisted, like the ex-football player that he is. I blink. Nothing is right. I must be dreaming. Wake-up, Marie. Wake-up. A distant bell rings, only it sounds more like hand bells than like the tone that tells us it’s time for class. The sparse number of students take their seats, most are not people actually in my history class or they are faceless. The bald eagle that is Mr. Gardner, starts to hand out tests, flying around the room with them clutched in his talons. He pulls one out with his beak and places it on my desk. The test is written in scarlet ink. Albretsen/Form/28 Question 1: If Paul Revere rode through San Diego at twelve miles per hour, what color was his horse? San Diego? Why would he be in San Diego? Would that change the color of his horse? I never read what color his horse was…I don’t know. My throat clenches. My heart pounds. How am I supposed to know? I’m going to fail. I’ll read it again. Question 1: If the Boston Tea Party had been about dumping Mountain Dew into the harbor, what year would it have had to take place? The Boston Tea Party was in 1773, but Mountain Dew hadn’t been invented yet. When was Mountain Dew invented? How am I supposed to know when Mountain Dew was invented? I knead my temples with my hands. Everything is wrong. An ultra-white cat looks up at me from the aisle. His eyes are ocean blue. A blue I’ve never succeeded in capturing with my paints, and I’ve tried. The eyes don’t belong in the cat. They are too round, too human. Those eyes belong to Ryder. Through the windows in the classroom the sky is corals and salmons but cloudless. I’m definitely dreaming. Wake up! The cat flicks its tail, drawing my attention back to it. It steps downward somehow, passing through the floor. I step to the place where the cat was, only I’m falling through. When I pass what should be the floor, it feels like passing through a waterfall, only the water isn’t wet. I land in a rectangular room about the size of my own living room only that is where the similarities end. One whole wall is a fireplace. The fire inside burns around a golden spherical object, resembling a large egg. Albretsen/Form/29 I don’t know how my ankles didn’t break when I fell. I look back at where some sort of portal should be, but I can’t see anything. Maybe I didn’t really fall. Dreams are strange. A fall like that should’ve woke me up too. How do I know if I’m still dreaming? I pat my chest and stomach. I feel solid. And I’m breathing. Is a person aware of their breathing in a dream? I’m not sure where I am, and I haven’t seen anyone else. I don’t know where Ryder would be. He’s always just shown up. In front of the fireplace sits a wooden rocking chair covered in a worn green quilt. A wooden table with flowers and animals carved into the legs occupies the main space. Four chairs are tucked under the table, each adorned with a perfect likeness of a plant or animal. One is a stallion reared on its back legs. I don’t know the plants, couldn’t name them if I tried. Another has a dragon. I run a finger over its realistic claws, but they feel like polished wood. The other half of the room must be the kitchen with cupboards, a wood stove, and a basin for water. I look back again to where the passage I passed through should be, but the air is empty. I don’t know how I’ll get home or even back to the dream. So, with no other choice, I open the wooden door to the outside. The road leads one way toward a wood, the other toward the ocean. I don’t know where to start or how to find anyone, let alone Ryder. I decide to follow the sounds I can hear coming from the home next to Ryder’s on the side toward the forest. The house next door is similar to Ryder’s with a porch on the front but without the apple trees. The noises come from behind the house, so I continue in that direction. The sun sits high over the mountains, no sign of a sunset. People rush around all over a green meadow behind the house. As I draw closer, I realize that they are teenagers or older children, not an adult in sight. Albretsen/Form/30 Two blond boys look up at me from where they are mending a fence. One has eyes almost as blue as Ryder’s. The other stares at me like a ghost walked into his front room. He has a babyface but must be about my age. I feel like I know him or like I should. I can almost put a name to his face. Maybe I’ve seen him in the dreams. Beyond them, more teens and some dogs are rounding up sheep. The air smells of fire and smoke. A building smolders on the other side of the meadow, and I spot Ryder in the midst of that chaos. His face is smudged with ash, and his eyes look haggard. His usually windblown hair sticks up and waves in every direction. Nearby, the corpse of a golden dragon filled with arrows casts a shadow over everything. “Marie?” Ryder turns from where he is bandaging the leg of a smaller golden dragon. “What are you doing here? How are you here?” “I-I don’t know. I’ve never known. Isn’t this a dream, like always?” “No, that’s what doesn’t make sense. I’m awake.” “You are? I don’t think I am.” I shift my feet. “Should you pinch me or something?” I mutter. He stands. “You look substantial.” He touches my arm. “You feel like you’re here.” He runs a hand over the golden dragons back. “You can put Goldie back in what remains of the stables.” He reaches up to push the hair from his face, smudging more ash on his forehead. “What happened here?” I ask. “We woke to noises before dawn.” His jaw works. “The barn was on fire. The fence was broken and dragons with men on their backs were chasing and eating the sheep.” “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what else to say. “Who did this?” Albretsen/Form/31 “Garrison Maxwell,” Ryder says as another dragon is brought to him. This one is being led by a muscled teenager with brown hair and eyes. He walks straight to me instead of Ryder. “You aren’t from Riverside, are you? You’re too pretty for me to have missed you for so long. I’m Hunter, son and apprentice to the butcher.” That explains his wide shoulders and thick arms. “I’m Marie.” I offer him my hand to shake. He takes it but kisses the back of it instead. When he looks up, he smiles and a dimple forms in his right cheek. It’s clear he knows what his smile does to a girl’s heartbeat. “I need her over here, please.” Ryder’s jaw is clenched. Hunter slides his hand out of mine, his eyes never leaving my face. He turns the dragon, and Ryder starts to examine it. I turn back to Ryder and it takes me a moment to remember what he was saying. “How is Garrison Maxwell what happened?” I ask. Ryder is too absorbed in his work, so it is Hunter that answers. “He was the governor here, and he was an ass.” Ryder gives the reins back to Hunter. His jaw is still tight. I’m not used to the frustration on his face. “The power went to his head, and he wanted more and more of it. He wanted to become the governor for life.” He turns back to Hunter. “Dusty lucked out since her stable is at the other end of the barn. She isn’t injured at all.” He looks at me with a frown. “Maxwell and his men burned down the barn before dawn this morning. They broke the fence, let the sheep out. I’m pretty sure his dragons ate some of them. That’s why everything is such a mess.” Albretsen/Form/32 “What’re we gonna do with the body?” Hunter’s eyes shift to the dragon corpse then back to me. Ryder’s eyes are dark, stormy blue. “It can’t stay there. The sheep are nervous enough with them in the barn.” He turns back to me. “Most of the people resisted Maxwell, until he got a dragon. I still don’t know how he managed to kill one. The one he killed had a child, and he took it, probably beat it to submission. Then he claimed an island. Those that supported him went to the island with him, but he wanted people to boss around, to build him his own town. He started kidnapping people and forcing them to do his bidding.” He starts across the meadow, and I follow. He stops part way across and calls to a blond girl, “Lacy, I’m going to need your help.” Lacy catches up to us, and we continue on toward the house. “Why don’t they just leave?” I turn the conversation back to the situation. “The island is too distant, out in the middle of the ocean, way too far to swim. Then he has dragons. He used the one that he had to get more. They can’t just stand up against dragons, and his are adults.” “So, what are you going to do?” “Well, I have some dragons now. Most are juveniles, and Pumpkin was my second biggest.” He nods back toward the corpse. “I don’t have time for them to reach adulthood, though. We’ll never be able to harvest the crops with our numbers as low as they are, and we have to have the crops to make it through the winter.” Ryder’s path takes him to the fence and the blonds that are mending it. Albretsen/Form/33 “Marie, these are my cousins, Fox and Cooper.” The younger one nods, preoccupied with his work, but Cooper straightens up and studies me. “Marie?” He looks first to Ryder then back to me. “The Marie? The one you told me about, that you’ve dreamed about?” “Yeah, that Marie,” Ryder says. “How did you get her here?” Cooper asks. Ryder answers, “I’m not sure. I mean, I know it was the amulet.” He touches the cord around his neck. “But I didn’t do anything different last night than what I usually do.” “What do you mean? You brought me here?” “In a way.” He holds the cord out, showing me a metal charm on the end of it. The charm is in the shape of a crescent moon with two stars cut out of the tail. “It’s a dream amulet. It belonged to my grandfather. I’m still trying to determine how it works.” “Our grandfather,” Cooper adds. “It’s how I’ve been able to find you in the world between. But now you’re here, in the flesh, and I don’t know why or how.” Ryder slips the charm back into his shirt. “Have you got this under control?” he asks Cooper. “Yeah, we’ve fixed enough fences. What are you going to do next?” Cooper asks. Ryder looks sad. “I’ve got to move the body.” We cut through the meadow to Ryder’s yard. Ryder is moving fast. He has so much more to do. I have to concentrate to keep up. My mind is on everything he has told me. I have so many questions and am trying to make sense of it all and with it all coming at me so fast. “How did Cooper know who I am?” Albretsen/Form/34 Ryder turns, does this sideways walk so that he can talk to me. “I may have mentioned you to him.” “You talked to him about me?” I can’t imagine what he would have to say about me. “Yeah, we’re close. He’s my cousin and my friend, and you’re different than anyone here. Like what are you wearing?” He gives a half grin to lighten it. I look down. I’m wearing jeans, a Taylor Swift t-shirt, a black hoodie and black closed toe sandals. I wore the same thing to school, and I realize I must’ve fallen asleep while studying, still in my clothes. “What do I usually have on when you see me?” My face goes hot as I realize he may see me in my pajamas. “I don’t think I’ve ever noticed. Maybe it doesn’t matter in dreams.” He slows, thinking. “Maybe our minds fill it in the way we think it should be.” “That would make sense.” We reach the barn in his yard. He leads me to the first stall. “Do you ride?” “Dragons? We don’t even have dragons where I’m from.” “Really? You don’t have dragons?” His eyes go distant, thinking. “It’d sure change my situation if we didn’t have dragons.” He opens the top door to an elephant sized gold dragon. She rises up and exposes sharp teeth longer than my fingers. She takes a snap at him. “Behave.” Ryder moves the door like he’ll close it again, and then turns back to me. “This is Flash. She’s a temperamental brute, but she’s my biggest.” I stay back. I’m not usually afraid of animals, but I know enough about them to not trust her after that greeting and the size of those teeth. In addition to the teeth, she has claws and smells of sulphur fire. Everything signals that I should be cautious. Albretsen/Form/35 Ryder’s eyebrows draw together. “I was hoping you’d ride. Good thing I brought Lacy with us. Saddle Smoke, will you?” He asks her. Ryder disappears into the first stall. Lacy enters the last one. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know anything about dragons or how to help. After a moment, I follow Ryder. “Is there something I can do?” “I’m almost done. Then you can ride with me.” He leads the big gold dragon into the clearing. “I don’t think I should ride.” I dig my fingers into my jeans to hide their trembling. “I’m going to ride with you.” He holds out a hand to help me up. I’m frozen feet away from him. “I’ll still manage to fall or something. I’m kinda clumsy.” “I won’t let you fall.” He gestures with his outstretched hand. “Come on. I’ll keep you in the saddle.” He meets my eyes. I let him take my hand and help me up onto Flash’s back. He climbs up behind me. His arms go around me as he takes the reins. I try to find something to hold on to as the dragon starts forward. I can’t hold the reins or Ryder won’t be able to steer. Reaching around me, I find Ryder’s knee close behind my own and grab hold of a handful of the material of his pants. I feel him lean closer. “See, it isn’t so bad.” He balances himself with one hand on my hip. Flash crawls along the ground, and I feel my stomach rise. I grab Ryder’s fingers. I squeeze my eyes closed. Flash launches into the sky and the wind bites my cheeks. I try to focus on Ryder’s hand instead of the fact that I’m in the sky. We don’t have far to go with Pumpkin’s corpse only at Cooper’s. His house is only the fifth one in from the beach. Ryder untangles his fingers from mine as he takes the reins in both Albretsen/Form/36 hands. I peek out as Flash dives. I grab at Ryder’s leg with the one hand and grip his bicep with the other. I do my best not to drive my fingernails into his skin. Flash’s landing is controlled, gentle even, and I feel foolish because of my fears. I peel my fingers from his arm. “Sorry,” I say. “It’s good. Everyone handles their first flight differently.” I can tell he’s smiling as he climbs down. I manage to land on my feet when I slide off Flash’s back. Ryder is standing over the dead dragon, larger than a horse. Its hide is golden, and I can see flashes of Ryder’s reflection dance across it. Spikes run down the lower part of its back and down its tail. Two arrows protrude from its chest and one wing is covered in burns. “I think she died protecting the others. She’s the only one who had any arrows in her.” Ryder touches one of the arrows. He drops to his knees and pats the dragon’s head. He’s forgotten I’m there. He’s having a moment with his dragon. I don’t know how to comfort him even though I want to. He turns enough to look at me. “I raised her since she hatched. Fed her. Watched her grow. Lacy named her. I picked Cooper to have her long-term and helped them bond. It hurts more than losing one of the sheep or dogs.” I kneel down beside him and slip my fingers through his. “I know Maxwell has been killing dragons since he realized I had some. It’s getting harder and harder to find them in the wild. But this is the first of mine that he’s killed.” “I’m sorry.” I squeeze his hand. Albretsen/Form/37 He drops my hand to stand up. I catch him swiping at his eyes as he does, trying to cover it up with his other movements. “We’ve got to move her. She’ll attract predators.” He pulls a coil of rope from Flash’s saddle. “Lacy, you have some too. I figure the only way to move her is to have the dragons do it because she’s so large.” I’d forgotten about Lacy but turn to find her a few feet from the dead dragon’s head. She takes the rope from her silver dragon’s saddle. Ryder ties one end of the rope to the corpse and the other end to Flash’s saddle. Lacy ties her rope to the corpse and her dragon. Ryder instructs Lacy to lead Flash, since she terrifies me, and me to lead the silver that he calls Bolt. Bolt is better behaved than Flash and follows me with only a tug on the reins. Flash fights with Lacy but only until Ryder chastises the big dragon. Then Ryder follows behind the body to make sure everything stays tied. “Where’re we going?” Lacy asks. “The beach, I guess. Far away from all the livestock.” It’s slow going, and we have to stop twice to tighten the ropes. Lacy is in tears by the time Ryder unties the dragon’s body. “I hate this.” Ryder throws the end of the rope. “I can’t save them all.” “Are you going to bury it?” I ask. “No, I don’t have the time or energy. It’ll have to be taken care of the natural way.” He looks so unhappy that I wish I could bring myself to hug him. Ryder helps me back onto Flash’s back. I’m still nervous about flying and hold onto his leg. Once up in the air, Ryder turns Flash the wrong way, out over the ocean. I feel Ryder’s breath in my ear. “I wanted you to see.” Albretsen/Form/38 The bright, azure blue and cloudless sky reflects in the ocean so that the world all around us is blue. A full tube of paint spread to the horizon. He’s slow to turn Flash around so that I can enjoy the view. He turns Flash around, and we return to the barn. Ryder unsaddles the dragons and checks the water troughs of both. He introduces me to his third dragon, Smoke. Smoke is the smallest of the three but incredibly friendly. Ryder scratches Smoke under his chin, like a cat.