The Weber Literary Journal P. S. Tell Ernie he isn't the only pebble on the beach. I hope his agriculture study is coming easy. Greenville, March 13th. Dear Daughter Sue, Yes, everything is clear as mud. Now don't think you can pull the wool over our eyes by trying to make your foolishness clear. I never in my life thought the time would come when I would have to call my little girl a "liar." But she is when she says her perfectly decent and upright father ever killed anything more human than a turkey. I didn't mind that so much as calling your mother a crook and a drug fiend. Now Sue, if this is only foolishness you are going too far with it. Just try and think how one of your letters would shock old Minister Jenkins if he should read one. How could I help but take an interest in your doings when you are meeting dangers of some kind every dav. so it seems. I can't understand why you didn't call the police when you needed them. Who the devil is this Parker woman who kept you from calling for protection? You better look out or she may be hand-in-hand with the crooks and you don't know it. Now girl, be careful, Father. Dear Father and Mother, Why father, I thought you understood things perfectly. I can't run this thing to suit myself. That's why I couldn't call the police before they were needed. Oh mother, I went through some of the funniest situations today. You know the burglar I was telling you about the other day? Well, he has fallen in love with me and, of course, I have to hide him from the police. Of course, as you might expect, Hugh Naylor is jealous. His father is a minister and never could see any good in me, anyhow. Why, he got right down to my life's history and made me 'fess up that I was born in a side-show and spent 30 The Weber Literary Journal most of my life in the wildest little town in the world. My girlhood days were spent in the cabarets and saloons. It surely pained me but I had to own up to all. But father, I am surely having the time of my life. With love, Sue. P. S. Isn't Ernie simply crazy about my future? He surely ought to be. Greenville, March 17th. Daughter Sue, You shameless, scandalous, ungrateful, disobedient, foolish girl! How much further must this go until you come to your right senses? Your mother and I can't begin to understand it. Another love affair and with a crook! That I, a Sell-man, should see my daughter lowered to a crook's level! Such scum! Now don't you dare let me hear of any more of it. Now, I warn you. Any more of this sort of thing and you wont have any parents or home to come to. Your mother and I feel guilty all the time, knowing what our daughter is and having to answer the neighbor's questions of how well you are getting along in college and all. Oh Sue, where is the Greenville sweetness you used to own? Don't you dare say such a thing again about being born in a side-show. More lies. Sue girl, how can you think of such trash to shame us with? Now you go right straight and tell that minister that there never was a cabaret in Greenville nor a saloon either, for any length of time. That's all, Father. March 19th. Dear Mother, Don't tell father, but I married my little villain and we are now living happy ever after. Nothing of importance has 31