Song Of The Autumn Rains In Spring From the muddy bosom of the sea of the age, A vicious wave rose from, the calm, And broke against the cliff of youth, And roaring shook the cliff of youth, And rearing shook my soul, And crushing broke my heart, And left my spirit trembling In the spray turned to rain, And whispering falls As mottled specters on my clothes. Many moments I lay by the driving surf, Helpless till the motion of elders Drew me away, thankful And alone. I walked in the salty, dung brown fields, While the sound of the rock-torn waves Rubbed in my heart. One feeling - no care, As the winds set my course Over the rough-green hills 'Neath the rain sky of pearl. But no rain fell, and everywhere was wet; In my memory the gold ocean frothed with lead. I saw many faces In the life-spring rainbow, And my heart was pierced by many soft looks, But though the air was cool, And the breeze was brisk, And the sky was black, no rain fell And rough salty dampness remained. There were rows of white houses With kind, warm fires And friendly hands, But I turned my head and my feet moved themselves, While my memory urged me, and echoing counselor, "Let no one hold you, for this is the youth Of lighthearted feelings and care-free reactions." And beyond the voice murmured The chilling blue breath Of the heart-break swells That washed from the brain, As warmth and love grew outside, around me Tall and strong of the hardening past, I walked aging on, and the hills became smoother. The sky became lighter And the laughter of friends filled my ears, Then my heart. I saw, on a hilltop a wide copper forest -The water was silent, the crevice was dry. As I reached the forest the air grew heavier, And the rain once more sprinkled my hair and coat, But I shook it off. It was only the time, I had felt it before But it silenced forever? No, it is nothing. I'll go from this valley. But when I looked back, no hill was behind me, The forest had trapped me In the web of its dreams. A storm was coming of hot, staining tears That would mark me and brand me the rest of my days, So I struggled and ran, and the boughs held me back, I was lost, and exhausted - I waited the storm. It broke through the mind With three gentle strokes And the rain fell in torrents, each beat of the heart While steady, low thunder rocked and resounded, Deep lightening and fire burned in the copper, And jarred the whole world With heart stopping shocks. I sought shelter about me in sweet-scented foliage, And for a moment I lay protected, When, without warning the lightening struck closer, And burned a foul black vomit smoke That seared from inside me, wrinkled my skin, Blackening my eyes and dissolving my voice. It tore the trees from me I was naked And helpless. I couldn't escape; only cry out To the deaf, hot rain that rattled the branches And flooded the wind-fall In muddy-green water. The earth drew soft in the long tonight, And I sank in the mire and crying prayed For help to the stars - but where? No stars, No God, There are only trees. The forest, the maze has become life itself, The only existence, the end of my journey. As I sink deeper there is no hand to help me. It pushes me downward, crushes me under. I know in my heart that the rain will not stop, That the stains will not fade, That the tears will not dry; All hope has passed, For mud and the fever will follow me always To my grave in the forest where thistles or rosas Will grow, gently watered By the early rain Chester H. Watson