The Weber Literary Journal It was the other day, the day before Washington's birthday, and the day before the Trumpet was to come out. Both were events in River Junction's fast life. Paul Revere Punk sat in the Trumpet office all the afternoon, and from all appearances was up to his neck in work. His work, however, consisted largely of writing "To the Memory of Paul Revere and His Glorious Ride" for the Feb. 22nd number of the Trumpet, which was scheduled for the next day. This article was to fill the space provided for "Kernel" Kapper's article, "Ode to Washington." The "Kernel" didn't know about it, but, according to Paul, his article was NOT to be published. Paul was not so sure the "Kernel" would want his manuscript published now, after Paul had spanked his pet grandson. Paul was mistaken. The "Kernel" did bring his manuscript over; also, he was perfectly willing to forget the unpleasant incident of the noonday spanking, if Paul would only publish the literary achievement. Paul proceeded to act indifferently. Colonel Kapper, (most commonly called "Kernel") is another of River Junction's ancients who has a family tree 'n everything and everything dates from the time that great-great grandpap Kapper served under Washington, and, incidentally, held a very responsible position, so says the Kapper family history. Whenever the River Junction "Purity League" permits it, all the town young-folk engage in a sinful Masquerade, with a lavish prize to the best impersonation. As the most faithful dead-ringer for Washington, the "Kernel" invariably wins the guinea-pig, or the fluffy, ribbon-tied kitten, whichever the prize happens to be. Paul Revere Punk never did win a prize as the great Paul Revere because nobody knowed what Paul Revere looked like, nohow. This did not detract from the "Kernel's" self-flattery, nor did it convince him that he did not look as good as the famous, truthful, handsome George. The "Kernel" awaited the verdict. "No," decided Paul, "I hain't got room to publish it here this week the paper is filled up now sorry." "Yes, you're sorry," retorted the "Kernel", "what are ye goin' ter do with the space ye promised me?" 24 The Weber Literary Journal "Didn't promise ye none, but I kinda thought uv some stuff about Paul Revere's ride. In fact, I have it ready now." The "Kernel" looked on disgustedly. "Be you crazy?" he asked; "who ever heard of 'Paul Revere's Ride' bein' published on Washington's birthday!" "You will hear of it tomorrow," Paul retorted, sarcastically. "Anyhow it's goin' ter be done, and besides, Paul Revere's ride won't tend to put stuff in kids' heads like choppin' the cherry tree does. You know, 'Kernel', what happened this very day." "You MUST be crazy." The "Kernel" ignored the reference to his grandson's untimely hacking. "Paul Revere's birthday is the logical time to publish the 'ride'." "Well, what if tomorrow is his birthday?" "An' what if it ain't?" "Maybe it is." "How do you know?" "Don't know. Ain't never found out. They ain't a history book that says: besides, tomorrow's as good as any other day." "Bosh." Paul realized the "Kernel" needed some "derned" stiff convincing. So he started in. "Oh, what a noble ride! To warn people of an impending danger! It would be the highest honor I could ever hope to gain. I even dared to hope once, but." He pointed to the telephone. "That doohinkus and the telegraph and all the rest of 'em have prevented me." The "Kernel" smiled. "Ye see, 'Kernel,' they don't need no more Paul Reveres oh, what is the world coming to? Ever since I bought Jupiter, some twenty-four years ago, I hoped to ride a famous ride on him." Jupiter Punk was a true member of the Punk household, and was known as such all over the country. In the year '98, he was bought to "make history" among fast horses. If a horse could turn white, Jupiter would have been there long ago with his worry. But, as it was, he remained the old dirty gray that he always was, and had given up all hopes of ever carrying his master on a famous ride, if he ever had any. Now- 25