BLONDE, YOU KNOW (Continued from preceding page) "Yes, that's what's important and you're a wonderful, brave girl," I said; and I thought how dandy it was to be loved for myself alone and never have to suspect that a designing female was working her wiles on me because of my wad, like that poor oaf, Barker. I felt a little delirous and I figured getting married right away was the prescription to clear up the condition. I was dazed and dizzy, but I clocked up my resources in my head: fifty bucks for my car; twenty-five for the typewriter; seventy for my watch; five hundred in the savings account home, left me by an aunt who wasn't responsible in declining years; my allowance every month; and a job in a filling station nights, granted I could find one. I even counted with my tongue the gold fillings in my teeth. "Maybe we'll have to keep it a secret for a bit; but we can manage it Glenda," I said. "Because of the publicity?" Glenda said. I didn't pause to puzzle out that one. I just took her in my arms, and all mundane matters, including money, drifted away. That's the way that girl could kiss. We drifted in about twelve, me trying to act unconcerned the way you do after a pin crawls off your bosom and onto another. Julie was doing all right for herself, what with Jed acting like a Great Dane assigned to guard her and everybody else giving her a whirl when he didn't bark at them. Julie dances like music, and she grinned at me and I though of going over and cutting in, but figured I'd better not. Besides, she looked contented. She's satisfied so long as she has a decent dancing partner. The rest of the night is one nightmare to me and all concerned! I remember we went out to some night club at Glenda's insistence, and I took a few shots of rye, purely in deference to the occasion, you understand. I kept wondering if the man was supposed to announce the engagement, or the woman. I felt very weak inside. Funny, though, every time I attempted to bring my announcement into play, Glenda would shush me, and change the subject. Bashful, I thought. "Who is that man?" Glenda asked. A sort of lizardly-looking lad across the floor was leering at her. Julie spoke up, "Why, where have you been, Glenda? That's Peter Van Styver. You know, the filthy rich one who kills polo ponies like flies and buys a new swarm every Monday after breakfast." This lizard reeled over to the table, and was he tight! He asked her to dance, and I remember telling him to go to hell, and then we had a few rounds together, the end of which came when Jed rose like a muscular mountain and in one beautiful smacko stepped on the reptile. We woke up in the jail, me with a beautiful hangover plus a honey of a shiner, and Jed with a wonderful temper. "Listen, guy," said Jed, "that Julie's O. K. and you're as blind as a mole and crazy as a horse full of loco weed!" "But what happened to Glenda?" I screamed. "To quote a movie I saw once, 'Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn'," he came back. "She disappeared with that Van Styver guy last night when they brought us here to this smelly hotel." Julie came bouncing in, looking irritatingly fresh-faced and well-nourished. She shoved the "Daily News" through the bars at me, grabbing her hand back as if I were going to bite it. On the front page was an article headed "VAN STYVER ELOPES." The whole thing smelled of alcohol and was pretty grim; and Glenda Garrett, it seemed, was now related by a midnight marriage to six million dollars. I flung the paper on the floor! "So what!" I yelled. "So sweet!" said Julie. I was in a madman's fury but a little relieved that I wasn't going to work in a gas station nights. I was furious though, but strangely enough, not sorry exactly at losing Glenda. I wanted the blood of Julie Smithton on my hands. I wanted to tear her limb from limb tortourously that girl standing there so cool and smug and everything. "By the way," Julie addressed us both, "the Dean and I exchanged girlish confidences this morning and he's most benevolent and forgiving. He will be down to the zoo shortly to let you out and he says you may still attend his kindergarten." "That was awfully nice of you, Julie." That was Jed's sugar, not mine. "I'm taking the next train out of town," she continued. "The law is giving me a two hours' start before they let the animals out." I kept on growling at her through my teeth. "And listen, leper," Julie said to me, and her voice went sort of soft and faltering, "don't you ever speak to me again." "I can't give up calling names," I said. "I've put my best in it. It's a calling." "And here's what hit you," she went on, ignoring a pretty good pun. "That Glenda girl told me on the train that the man she was coming up to see was a fathead, but worth a hundred thousand!" "So what?" I said. "So I told her, The man I am coming up to see is what good little girls expect in heaven, and he's worth a million!" She ran. "Julie," I screamed after her and I pulled at my bars, remembering the tears in her eyes. "Take it easy, moron," Jed said. "You're dumb, but things are going to turn out for you all right this time, lucky guy!" Imagine Jed Barker calling me dumb! ten SPRING FEVER THIS IS THE TIME WHEN ATTENDANCE DECREASES. AND FIELD TRIPS TO LESTER PARK INCREASE. BOOKS APE NEGLECTED AND COLLECT DUST AND MOTHS. THE ONES THAT HAVE TO BE CARRIED MAY BE USED AS PILLOWS. WALTER PROTHERO eleven