Autumn Colors by Maurice Richards Mourn not my death in days close after; Follow not my death with furrowed faces, Trade not sorrow for joyous laughter; My body is gone but my thoughts leave traces. Lingering like fragments of lace burnt black. Bound like an unseen page In the book of some man's life. Pace Four The Tabulous Cat by Dan Bailey Author Dan Bailey is a well known character upon Weber's campus. He is not a member of the student body at the present time, but as always he is a loyal supporter. He excels in the dramatic field and can be found in many of the plays and skits around the school. Once upon a time there was a man whose name was Mr. Dinsmoore. He was a small squatty person who always wore a checkered vest and had a huge Elk's tooth suspended from his gold watch chain. Mr. Dinsmoore had but one outstanding trait. Mr. Dinsmoore was known among his friends as "the most superstitious man on earth." It was a well known fact that Mr. Dinsmoore once tore up fifty square feet of concrete to get a horseshoe, which was buried there, so he could spit on it and throw it over his shoulder. At another time Mr. Dinsmoore jumped off a double decker bus going sixty miles an hour, just to pick up a pin that he saw glistening in the sun by the gutter. Walking under ladders was the last thing in the world Mr. Dinsmoore would do, and it was also reported that the people in the apartment where Mr. Dinsmoore lived were kept awake half the night by his constant knocking on wood. All in all, it was an acknowledged fact that Mr. Dinsmoore was the most superstitious man alive. One Saturday night in September, Mr. Dinsmoore, who always spent his Saturday nights in the 4th Avenue beer parlor, decided to forsake the beer parlor for the first half of the evening to go to town hall where there was to be a famous speaker on socialism. At the lecture the speaker said, "In the face of the ever changing world of today people must be prepared to forsake outmoded ideas in favor of the modern way of thinking. If these thoughts are ones which you do not wish to abandon entirely, at least you should mold them to fit the rapid progress of the age." Mr. Dinsmoore thought the speaker looked right at him. After the lecture he walked up and shook the man gravely by the hand. It was easy to see Mr. Dinsmoore was impressed. In fact, Mr. Dinsmoore was so impressed that he entirely forgot to visit the 4th Avenue beer parlor, but instead went home and got in bed to think. The next day, as Mr. Dinsmoore came down the street all his friends remarked what a changed man he was. He answered, "I have been living in the dark ages, but now that is all gone. I am through and done with being a slave to outmoded superstitions. I have modernized my superstitions," and so he had. In the future Mr. Dinsmoore was seen to pass by hundreds of horseshoes without picking one of them up, but he was seen to dislocate his clavical trying to throw the wheel of an automobile over his shoulder. When questioned about his actions he replied, "The day of the horse is past, the car has replaced it, so I shall no longer throw horseshoes over my shoulder for good luck, I shall spit on car wheels and throw them over my shoulder." Mr. Dinsmoore also ignored pins of all types as they lay by the gutter but he was arrested as a masher once for trying to close a zipper which was open. At the police station inquiry brought this statement from Mr. Dinsmoore. "The zipper has replaced the pin." At all hours of the day Mr. Dinsmoore walked under ladders but he shied like a frightened colt at the thought of passing in front of an elevator; and it was rumored that the people at his apartment were still kept awake by his knocking, not on wood, but on plastic. It was obvious to all that Mr. Dinsmoore had modernized his superstitions. It was a month after the rejuvenation that Mr. Dinsmoore was sitting in the 4 th Avenue beer parlor consuming his 13th glass of brew, when a black cat with one red eye and a purple tail walked across the room, jumped upon Mr. Dinsmoore's table, sat down, looked Mr. Dinsmoore in the eye and began to talk: "Mr. Dinsmoore," began the feline, "you have modernized all of your superstitions and have molded your beliefs to the rapid (continued on page 18) Page Five