ng > 7) ite! 10 go lrive Ling. ere PUL In Closing you happen to have just gotten this yearbook, say, mound July 15. Just remember, this is not OUR Yearbook!!! That’s right, it’s all Mr. Crowther’s Yearbook, he did the whole thing!! We just watched Disney videos and ate Pizza! So remember its Mr. (rowther’s Yearbook, not ours!!! However, if by some miracle you did get this yearbook before school ended and they say sacrificing small forest animals doesn’t york!) then just ignore those first 48 words, and 8 xclamation points. Anyway, it’s the end of another year and we present to you this...well....gift? From the bottom of our heart. We hope you’ll enjoy this as much as we enjoyed making it (don’t burn it too quick! Make it suffer!). We’d like to thank Mrs. Reed and Mr. Crowther for pointing out our errors....again...and #ain...and again...and again...and again..etc... And hank you, the Yearbook worshipping public, for shelling out $25.00 and financing our production, marriages, Shawn’s rehab, and various other expenditures. Once again thanks for reading this far, and since the rest are just inside jokes, racial slurs, and insults you don’t need to read any farther. To: feli-Well, what can we say about Keli? We enjoyed yorking with you for one sole reason...you bring the Pizza. If you would get off the belief that your name is secial and the “My name is only spelled with ONE 1 fot two!!!”, attitude we might actually get. something jone. We can only guess how you look at your job note we did not say work) with your beautiful hair et and black apron (ewww...where’s the nearest farbage can). And getting dressed in front of all your w-workers must have been an...... experience (*gulp*) frthem. If only we could have had a camera! blackmail is so sweet). Of course then Randy would grind us Cus being Shawn incase he asks!) into dust! Inten years we picture you living a happy life of plygamy, with Randy and that boy that lives down the road (Nate if anybody is wondering). shawn- When you actually decide to show up, and DO something!!! (Not like we’re bitter or anything...) You're great to work with, okay your eyebrows are wary (it’s the Wolf-Man RUN!!! RUN!!!), and all those ihings you picked up from the Internet (pervert) and fom Herr Rowley Cewww!!...). We know you'll be making copies far into the future, soon a chain of Brooks’ Copying stores will pop up throughout the yorld, netting you millions of dollars and finally giving you enough money to get “shortened” to a normal person’s height! And now that we know you were near, 75 lbs and 17 inches at birth (Thanks for the sory Mr. Prisk). We project that by the age of 23 you'll be married and pregnant (miracles of science!). Good luck! fnily- Although re-doing those club pages, 19 or 20 limes was a pain we’re sure glad you pulled through it and continued to do your Chemistry homework, in YEARBOOK! Not CHEMISTRY or at HOME!!!! CNot that we're bitter or anything). We’re sure you have a tright future at Arctic Circle Gust don’t fall in the hot grease, tee-hee tee-hee tee-hee...ahh fantasies). Okay the atomic mushroom haircut was, interesting...ha..ha...ha...just kidding...ha..ha..put down the gun. Anyways, we’re sure you have a bright future at Southern Utah University Cyes, it was just to fllup space we wrote the whole thing out!! HAHAHAHAHA we ARE crafty, no?) and what ever you decide to major in, we didn’t know taxidermy was you passion, but hey whatever creams your cookie. Just remember to have a sense of humor Cespecially about this paragraph!) and don’t come back after us next year! late- Thanks *hiccup* for letting Miss Keim *hic* steal our hall pass! *hiccup* (come on you could have taken her! Well, maybe....okay we’re just trying to make you feel better, you would have been a bloody sain on the floor.) Anyway, *hic* even though ‘hiccup* you are a masicist, *hic* we never knew nbber bands could be instruments *hiccup* of torture ‘hic* , but you seemed to enjoy it *hiccup* ...so we’ll just keep our distance. *hic* And of course, your romantic experiences with Carrie’s “friends” you animal *insert muskrat mating call here* we’re sure the “sock girl” will never forget her night with you (the scars will probably stay with her for years, until she can afford plastic surgery). And your love of pain really scares us....but hey, its the 90s. If you do decide to come back next year, well.....we pity you, but still look forward to welcoming you back, until you do make Mr. Crowther break down and cry! P.S. We hope that some day you will get up enough courage to ask a girl out even if she does have a homocidal maniac for a boyfriend! AndrewWell, we would say Hi to you, but we wouldn’t want you to go into a seizure from the shock of it. (Bring in Advanced Life Support!). We still haven’t figured out who those voices in your head are, or why Mr. Moore wants to find you a date so bad (poor girls). We appreciate that you donated hours of your time to housekeeping - we think you have found your calling in life! We think that your “Magic” career is getting off to a good start Cheaven forbid you do anything else). We still haven’t quite figured out the meaning of “Hakuna Matata” or why you burst into spontanous song every time it is mentioned. All we have to say is have you ever heard of Fresh Country cause you could really use some line dancing (Cor any type of dancing for that matter) lesson, the German samarui line-dancing just does not cut it! In ten years we picture you single in a corner of an alley somewhere in Italy playing “Magic” and having flashbacks from your traumatic years in yearbook and your trip to Europe (only Mr. Rowley and a few other “lucky” people *shall we mention that they have all spent their share of time at the mental institution due to your terroristic personality* know what happened there). We can honestly say we’ll miss you (Did we mention that we all lie fanatically?), and we want Jolley Ranchers!!! Nicole- Well how about some force...”when is the computer gonna be ready?” no, no, no! Haven’t you learned anything from those Charles Atlas “Increase Your Hostility” courses? how about “WHEN IS THE @#$@ COMPUTER GONNA BE READY, YOU @#%#FE@V$EN$H$%#HING DORKS!!! SOON P’LL KILL YOU!!! KILL YOU ALL!!! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”...sorry, a little to many vivarins this morning. Who piddled in your Cheerios? No just kiddin’. We didn’t hear much from you but when we did it was words of wisdom Chey wait a minute isn’t that a scriptural reference? *Blaspemere!! DIE DIE!!! BURN!!!....[thats a footnote folks]*) of course they were mostly insults, and profane....and here we thought you were innocent of course working nights at Northern X-Posure can do that to a person (look at what it did to Shawn). In ten years we see you in a nunnery somewhere off the coast of Australia, Well goodbye for now, and heaven forbid you ever meet Shawn’s eyebrows in a dark alley. Elaine-Somthing tells me if the Beetles were still alive they would be proud. Their hair style has finally caught on. Now that we’ve met your entire family (well, o.k. your brother...but he’s enough for about 5 people). Heard all about your dating life Cwhat a person can learn in .6 seconds), leg hair growing contests, and lip waxing well....we feel like we know you already (almost like a sister, but with more testosterone) at least all we want to know of you...no one knows what you do when you’re home alone. (we think it has something to do with hair dye, and various members of your family). And the fact that you managed to place yourself ruffly 700 times throughout the Yearbook, in the same shirt in every picture. Way to go! The Miss America pageant is only a few steps away (thank you Carrie), soon your face will appear on Wheaties boxes everywhere, a special “Elaine” edition of Barbie will be put out Cwith flourescent green hair), oh the places you’ll go (on your mountain bike)! Star- We think Mr. Crowther was reduced to tears more than once by your denoucement of his love....you ARE his “Star” student you know! Your drawings were very inspiring(we mean that in a strange and demented way). We appreciate you for giving Nate some kind of love life. We know you just felt bad for him. Thank you for hating us all at least once a week! We'll miss your kind hearted remarks, jump kicks, and kidney chops, but we think we’ll learn to live without them. We were all very impressed with your artwork this year (when you were actually here to do it, and not at Savers...or Smiths at 4:30 a.m.) Thank you for venting almost all of your hatred on Andrew and not on the rest of us poor innocent souls! Jocelynn - (Or is it Joshlynn? Whoops, there goes Mr. Crowther slurring his speech again). While we are sure you said some important things - we aren’t really sure because we couldn’t understand what you were saying through your various accents and impersonations of Arnold Schwartzenegger. We thank you for contributing to our yearbook school spirit by leaving early everyday for some sort of athletic practice. We wish you the best of luck in your future which may very well contain survey taking, since your skills were highly expanded during yearbook, MOVE OVER BARABRA WALTERS!! We expect to see you on America’s ten most wanted women since your dating skills were perfected during the short time of sixth hour. Holly - You finally completed your year (well o.k. the 5 months you were here) as Yearbook Editor Chahahahha, fool!!!!). We know you enjoyed your week in London, and seeing all those SPLENDID theatrical experiences! And getting lost in the underground, and that “misunderstanding” about the crown jewels....we’re sure you just picked them up by mistake. And that virus you caught that “prevented” you from coming to school for the rest of the year cexcept to Yearbook, which in itself is a sign of schizophrenia). We’re glad all those months at Shopko haven’t dulled your bowling ball sharp wit (though the trauma of you screaming out prices on china, and paper cups won’t leave us for a long...long...long...time). We hope you are off to college (Northern Idaho College of Beauty Supply Design, and Small Pet Grooming [NICOBSD&SPG]) with James, no, we wouldn’t wish that on anyone! Carrie- Whoops, we mean Connie.....We’ll always rememeber your kind heart, and innocent spirit.....NOT!!! Actually we’ll remember your vulgar insults, and all those jokes you made about Nate. We’re sure you'll pass the A.P. American test (that is if Mr. Wayment accepts your bribe). Seriously though, we SHOULD be nice to you since you’ll be back next year (and scarier than ever!) to make some of our lives miserable. But hey, what can we say we like living on the edge (besides, we’re coming back prepared!). Good luck over the summer, don’t let anymore little children drown Chint hint!). We still don’t understand what a cow and a bottle of Jack Daniels has to do with your life story (use your imagination people). But we assume that your parents are hiding something about your childhood. We can’t believe your wild lust for Jam...*woops we’re not supposed to say his name huh*. In ten year we picture a member of the I.R.A. trying to figure out what went wrong with your “Tokyo subway scheme”....nuf said. James- Oh boy, where to start. Mother always told us if we didn’t have anything nice to say about anyone, we shouldn’t say anything at all. So here goes nothing. Although we appreciate you opening the door, but saying hello to each and everyone of us in that same loud obnoxius tone of voice (whoops, slipped) is going a little far. We’ve never resented you for working on the pages no one else wanted to do (we resented you for other reasons, like your endless supply of “My old school.....” and “I REALLY WANTED to be on Mock Trial, but they passed over me!!! *insert tears*..... ” stories). Or your endless supply of opinions, and jokes that no one else really gets. In ten years we picture you sitting in the yearbook room waiting to take your sister home *yipee* Lara- We’re sure glad that you were the only one that would stand for our (our being Shawn) insults, and rude remarks as we looked through the mugs. We’re sure you have a great future in telecommunications (Prodigy, *hubba hubba”*). We’d write more, but since you’re never here we don’t have to!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! And since the Yearbook is 28 days late, we’re out of time. Finally, done!!! Fini!!! The End!!! Whee!!! Well, if you’ve read this far you know we’re a bunch of bulimics with croppers (there should be fear in the hearts of those that got conned into doing this next year!). Adios, see you in 244 pages. 1994-1995 Yearbook Staff