A DIFFERENCE The class in spelling was asked to state the difference between "results" and "consequences." One bright-eyed little miss replied: "Results are what you expect, and consequences arc what you get." FEMININE LOGIC John-The French have gained four hundred metres from the enemy. Auntie-How splendid! That should help to put a stop to those dreadful gas attacks! Mrs. Browning-Why did you let that policeman kiss you? Florence-It's agin th' law to resist an officer, Ma'am. Before a man's married he's a dude; after marriage he's subdued. Before marriage he has no buttons on his shirt; after marriage he has not shirt. Before marriage he swears he would not marry the best woman in the world; after marriage he finds that he hasn't. "Bobby," said the teacher, "how many zones are there?" "Two," answered Bobby, with a little questioning note in his voice. Then seeing the puzzled look that came into the teacher's face, he rattled on without a stop; "One male and one female; the male can be temperate or intemperate, the female frigid or torrid," and he stopped for breath. Professor Russell, who was studying the approved methods of proposal, asked Doc. if he thought that a young man should propose to a girl on his knees. "If he doesn't," replied Doc, "the girl should get off." Washington Market A. M. Miller Exchange 2800 2472 Washington Ave Fresh and Cured Meats Fresh and Cured Fish All Kinds of Shell Fish in Season Our Grocery Department is unsurpassed and seldom equaled. Fresh Fruits and Vegetables at All Times Buckmiller Flowers Co. O. A. PARMLEY, Manager TELEPHONE 175 Ogden Steam Laundry Company Dry Gleaners and Dyers 437 Twenty-Fifth Street Ogden, Utah