was known as fact or fiction and let it go at that. And I told people, “Look, I made some serious mistakes for which I’m very sorry. I’ve done all that I can do to apologize and RC: What about your departure from “Music and the Spoken Word”? SK: There was no question of the repent. Beyond that, it’s a private matter with me and my family. We’re dealing with it that way and hope you can respect that.” RC: In your judgment, was the media coverage fair? need for me to ask for a release from that assignment. I was the A “SIGNAL EAPERIENCE spokesperson for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and I could not maintain that position with the mis- J. Spencer Kinard attended Weber takes I had made. I could no longer State for only one quarter—the spring of 1963—but he calls it the represent LDS Church standards. In an effort to keep the church out of it beat and misleading. But the AP most important period in his acad- as much as possible, the best thing story was very accurate — an emic career, a “signal” experience account of what had been going on that changed the course of his life. SK: For the most part, yes. The tabloid television stories were off- and the fact that I had resigned. After that, the stories here in town (Salt Lake City) were that I resigned, was to deal with this as privately as we could, and that’s what we’ve done. RC: You don’t think KSL-TV dealt with you unfairly? SK: Ihave a lot of friends who think that’s the case, but I haven’t given them all the details. Nobody else RC: What is the status of your membership in the Mormon Church? had a choice. And, while it’s been a learning experience, it will always be painful. SK: I’m a member and I’m teaching a Sunday School class. Without dragging my family and the church through all the details, I can tell you that what needed to be done has RC: You don’t seem tempted to rationalize about what happened. been done, and I’m in the process of SK: I’ve been humbled. I haven’t fortable and pleased with what has been a humble person; in fact, I transpired. think that’s part of the reason I got into difficulties — too much pride, and some positive character traits that I let slip away. One is humbled in circumstances like this. RC: Do you feel you’ve had a fair don’t hold anyone else responsible. SK: We’re doing okay. We’re healing. that a tragedy of this nature didn’t have to occur. It was caused by my own actions and that makes it more difficult to deal with. It’s one thing to have something fall out of the sky; it’s another matter to realize that you created it — you correcting my mistakes. I’m com- choir. How hard was it to give up what I had done was wrong, and so I SK: The one thing that hurts me more than anything else is RC: How did your family react to the situation? your association with KSL and the those relationships? affected. And I’ve admitted to them the mistakes I’ve made. I didn’t feel as though I needed to go beyond that to the public. Some people have said, “Oh, you were a victim of the media.” I was not a victim of the media. I was a victim of my own mistakes. Things could have been handled differently by the media , but that didn’t change the fact that RC: How has this experience changed the way you look at life? public speaking. At the end of the Rowley asked me if I’d ever those people who were directly to do because I just have to shut down for awhile. RC: Your entire career was built on speaking class, Dr. (Leonard) SK: Yes. I had a chance and I chose not to say anything more. I made my mistakes. I’ve apologized to But there are times, still, when I don’t do things I would like cared enough to offer support for us. “T took photography and and they never went beyond that. chance to tell your side of the story? was on medication for awhile. The depression never reached the point that I couldn’t work or do the things I had to do. RC: What about your marriage? considered a career in broadcast- SK: I made the decisions I made for ing. I said, ‘No, I’m going to be a religious purposes, not career purpos- photojournalist. I’m going to es. I made the choices I made for the preservation of my family. A lot of people have made the kinds of mistakes I’ve made. Usually they lose their families and keep their jobs. I lost my job, but kept my family. ous sources — that I had moved out of state, that my wife had left, that I RC: Did you do a lot of soul-searching before you resigned? work for Life magazine.’ He said, “You have a lot of aptitude (in broadcasting). You ought to look into it.’ “That fall I returned to the University of Utah. I read (in the student newspaper) about a meeting at the KUER-FM studios for students interested in broadcasting, and I remembered what Leonard Rowley had said. I went to that meeting, met Rex Campbell and read some news for him. He asked, ‘Do you want to work at the news station? Do you want to be a newsman?’ I said, ‘Yes, I want to be a newsman.’ ” knows what happened — just me and my family and those who were directly involved. I would have liked to stay at KSL, but perhaps it was best for me not to. Certainly KSL thought it was best, so when I offered my resignation they accepted it. SK: I knew I was going to hurt a lot of people — those I worked with and, most importantly, my wife and children. The soul-searching involved asking myself how to correct this and not hurt them. The answer is that you can’t ... you don’t. When you make a SK: Stories got back to us from variwas living with someone else — there were all kinds of rumors. PLANNING SESSION Spencer Kinard (left) reviews computerized plans of the campus None of that is true. Certainly there prepared by his company, Resource were reasons why my wife could have left me, but she never did. Data Consultants (REDCON), with There’s never been even an hour’s separation. I stayed home and my wife stayed home. There wasn’t University’s architectural services. even a discussion of whether one or at REDCON was “surprisingly easy.” Robert Folsom, director of the Mr. Kinard said getting his job said, “The company I work for — we’re making some changes. We’re looking for a marketing director.” It RC: How did the rest of your family (In February 1991, three months after he resigned, Mr. Kinard accept- respond? SK: The first priority was maintaining and rebuilding the people and to myself. I still struggle with depression, but it’s not nearly as SK: I went through some therapy with a psychiatrist, and I SK: It was surprisingly easy. My neighbor asked me how things were going and the next thing I knew he was that easy. family. Everything else was secondary. My family has been RC: How did you deal with depression? intense public scrutiny? the other of us would leave. serious mistake in life, there’s no way to fix it without hurting people. Afterwards, there was a lot of depression — serious depression — resulting from the hurt I brought to other bad as it was. RC: How tough was it to find a job in Utah after being subject to such absolutely, 100 percent supportive. Don’t misunderstand. ed a position as director of marketing for REDCON, Resource Data Consultants, a company based in Bountiful, Utah.) When I say supportive, I don’t mean that they think I’ve RC: Do you think you’ll ever return to the broadcasting done nothing wrong. They’ve just been forgiving, understanding and helpful. business? RC: How did other people react? life, but I also have that yearning to be in public life again. It’s a dichotomy. You want it both ways and you can’t have SK: I haven’t received one piece of bad mail. Quite the contrary — we’ve had hundreds of letters from people who say, “We love you and support you.” They tell us about SK; I think I’d like to. I’m comfortable in a more private it both ways. But I think I’d like to be public long enough to let people know that we’re OK. their trials and tribulations — heart-rending stories of peo- RC: It sounds as though you’re leaving the door open for a ple who are struggling, personally, with a lot of pain, yet TV news opportunity.