22 THE ACORN goes into the study hall to the vice-president for consolation. A Ray of Hope They will all agree some day. Bro. Lind (calling roll): Harold Johnson? Harold: Prepared! What's the lesson Wright? At a bob sleigh party Beatrice had forgotten her gloves and this is one of the results. Katherine(feeling Bea's hands): "Why Bea, your hands are just freezing." Willie Driver: Wear my gloves, will you Bea?" Beatrice: "No thank you, my hands are not cold." Willie (bashfully to Katherine): "Please feel Bea's hand for me and see if they are not cold." Perhaps the reason why the faculty think that the girls ought not to play basket ball, is because the girls get enough exercise falling out of broken seats in the Study Hall. Bro. Lind: "What do you understand by humility?" Clarence (opening book): I must have missed that." Important Events Oct. 9th, '06. Election of student body officers. His royal highness Aaron comes to the throne. Oct. 16th, '06. Appointment of Acorn staff. Josephine assumes the editorial scissors. Corner stone laid. Much cold. Big windstorm. More colder. Coal supply runs short. Most coldest cold of all (Shakespeare's latest.) Radiators become refrigerators, students become icicles and Bro. McKay becomes a poet. Nov. 23, '06. First student body dance. Dr. Morrell was there. Students thawed out considerably. Nov. 23 to Dec. 2. Vacation week. Some students have queer experiences. New building fund considerably enlarged. Dec. 4th. Chandalier turns into a fountain of youth. Bro. Porter takes a dip therein. Dec. 7th. Impromptu speeches. Great suffering and distress among the students. Bro. Bradford's latest A twelve pound girl. Bro. Lind spoke to Belva, she sighed and said, "Oh dear, dear, darling!" Present, Past and Future "To-morrow I will live," the fool does say; To-day itself's too late; the wise lived yesterday. Martial. A Love Song by a "Sunny" Lover There's not a spider in the sky, There's not a glow worm in the sea, There's not a crab that soars on high, But bids me dream dear maid of thee! Whene'er the cows come down the lane, Your beaming face appears to me, As flies run up the window-pane, So fly my thoughts dear love to thee. Although one may win the goal by luck, And one by chance be hero hailed, The psalm is for the man of pluck Who conquers where he once had failed. Always Something to Be Thankful For There' s always something to be thankful for," said the old woman meditatively. I've only got two teeth but thank God they meet." Question: If a farmer owned a peacock and it laid an egg in a neighbor's field, to whom would the egg belong? Answer: It would belong to the peacock. How Time Flies How time flies was impressed upon Mr. William Hart when he picked up a Chicago paper where he read: "If Mr. William Hart who deserted his wife and babe twenty years ago, will return to 816 Fifth Street, said babe will be glad to knock the stuffing out of him." Hurrah! "Who gave the bride away?" "Her little brother. He stood up right in the middle of the ceremony and yelled, Hurrah, Fanny you've got him at last!" Received this month: The Pharos, Provo, Utah. The Lookout, Derby, Conn. High School Register, Burlington, Vt. Classicum, Ogden, Utah.