26 The Acorn Teacher "When rain falls does it ever rise again?" Pupil "Yes sir." Teacher "When?" Pupil "In dew time." Ex. "To grow old in usefulness and honor is the sweetest reward that life can claim." Freshie "Why is that fellow so clumsy?" Soph. "Well you can't expect a dark fellow to be light on his feet.' "Treat a man as you would a good picture; place him in the best possible light." Teacher John, translate "Rex fugit." John "The King flees." Teacher "You don't make the sense clear. Put in "has" John "The King has flees." Ex. "What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?" asked the customer of a new Grocer clerk. "Nothing but banannas madam," was the reply. Small boy "Give me some 'lasses, pa!" Pa "Don't say lasses, son; say molasses." Son "How can I say mo, 'lasses when I aint had none yet?" Bright Boy: "I'm a chip of the old block ain't I, pa?" Father: "Yes, my son." Bright Boy: "And you're the head of the family, aint you pa?" Father: "Yes my son." Bright Boy: "Then you are a block-head, aint you pa?" Ex. Wife: "Must you go to the club to-night dear?" Husband: "It isn't absolutely necessary, but I need the rest." "Are you working hard these days?" asked one New Yorker. "Yes," answered the other. "I haven't seen you at the office. "No, one day I've been busy getting my money out of the bank for fear financiers would get it, and the next I've been putting it back for fear burglars would get it." Ex. Shirk not though the task seem hard, but work with a determination to succeed. Dear Mister Professor: Could you be so kind as to excuse my boy Johnny for not goin' to schule yesterday the reason is because I wanted to wash his stockings, this won't happen again this; year. Much oblige Mrs. The Acorn 27 As they have been heard to say: Beatrice: "Just so I can go then life on the Wright" side I dont care." Katherine-"Oh to be a Driver forever." Mina "Be Craft (y)' shall be my motto." George "My aim is to go in the Poulter (y) business." Nettie "Just so I can Wade thru the Book of Mormon till I get to Moroni, I shall be happy." Mabel "He that overcomes my heart shall be Victor." Reeder "I don't care how Farr it is but I will get there." Prof. Bailey (jokingly) "Who drank all the alcohol?" Ensign (startled). "I I took the last that was in the bottle." Clarence "Say Happy, some one told me I looked just like you." Harold "Oh! where is he I want to kill the scoundrel." Clarence "Too late. I did that." Freshies continue to drop such things in the Acorn Box.