16 THE ACORN LOCALS. Miss Stewart has just become aware of the fact that the sun gives light to the earth. Hitherto she tho't that it was "just natural." Keep learning, Esther, it shows that the furrows are deepening; your knowledge bump is enlarging. The dancing party given by the Athletic Association of the Weber Stake Academy Friday night, March 11, proved to be another grand success. All students who attended declared it to be one of the best dances of the season. The hall was beautifully decorated with purple and white flags and palms. MUSICAL NOTES. Professor Ballantine Now students* I'll PITCH the tone, and you Powell, go FIRST BASS, and Shurtliff, you go SECOND BASS; when you come to the CENTRE of the page, make a SHORT STOP, where you see the half-rest, succeeding that RUN. Powell (Half asleep) But who is going to be the catcher? Profesor Ballantine That's enough! If I hear such a statement again I shall PUT YOU OUT! Whereupon Powell began to BAWL, and Shurtliff declared that it wasn't FAIR. Appropriate selections for the soloists of Professor Ballantyne's singing class: William Hickenlooper "Down on the Farm." Clyde Lindsay "The Lonely Shepherd." Albert Powell "Let Us Gather at the River." James Wood "Buy a Broom." Charle-s Brown "A Passing Policeman." Tom Irvine "How Would You Like to be the Ice Man?" Emmett Browning "Johnny, Get Your Gun." May Higginbotham "While the Leaves Came Drifting Down." Michael Beus "I've Got My Eye On You." Rose Woodfield "The Last Rose of Summer." Charles Lyon "Where Did You Get That Hat?" Blanche Greenwell "Take Back Thy Eleart." Belva Woodmansee "The Maid With the Dreamy Eyes." Effie Ballantine "See the Good Old-Fashioned Way." Angus Berlin "The Fatal Rose of Red." Joseph Stimpson "It don't sceem Like the Same Old Smile." (After the toothache.) Orlinda Wooley "Hamlet Was a Melancholy Man." Samuel Stevens "A Mansion of Aching Hearts." Earl Ballantyne "When Knighthood Was in Flower." David Berlin "After the Ball." Alice Taylor "A Sweet Face at the Window." Joseph Stimson has evidently bitten off more than he can chew. HEARD IN THE HALL. Elisha Bingham Wintle, you put me in mind of a rooster. Wintle Ah! Why so? E. B. Because you always have a comb to your hair. WintleThat's all right, I'm no spring chicken, anyhow. THE ACORN 17 !n PROFESSOR TERRY'S THEOLOGY. Jones was half asleep and at all events dead to what was being said. Lizzie McKay was explaining something by using a metaphor. Professor Terry That's all right as far as it goes, but you didn't finish. Jones, will you carry out that figure? Jones (suddenly awaking) What figure? Here he gave a wicked glance at Grant Hansen. Belnap My! Hasn't Angus Berlin got a red face, it can't be naturally so, can it? Manning Oh no, you see two years ago, on account of stomach trouble the poor fellow had to DIET himself. IN THE PHYSICAL GEOGRAPHY CLASS. Thomas McKay Arthur, what is wind? Budge Wind is air in motion. Thomas McKay What put air in motion? Budge An electric fan. The basketball boys have a coach, but from all appearances they will soon need an ambulance. Ask Glen Thompson. IN ADVANCED RHETORIC. Prof. McKay William, why did not Milton write "Paradise Lost?" Bartlett Because he was blind. The coach went to Logan with the boys to see that they got plenty of sleep. Viz: To keep them from making DATES at night, so that they could make BASKETS the next day. Professor Lind (In Botany) How does the starch get into the potato? First Pupil It just grows there. Second Pupil No it don't! it's manufactured in the potato. Third Pupil Well, what difference does it make anyhow? Professor Lind (tapping slightly on the desk) Some members are talking! Professor Nelson How is the climate affected as you go north or south from the equator? Elisha Bingham It gets colder as you go north. Professor Nelson If you went south then, would you ever reach the lower regions? Mattie Poulter (In Geography) Professor Nelson, isn't longitude and altitude the same? Miss Taylor Oh Austin! Where did you get your hair cut off? Wintle Out to the cut-off. By the way, do you wear a rat in your hair? Miss Taylor Oh no, I wear a switch. Wintle Ah! I suppose you got that at Hooper-switch? Miss Taylor No, sir; I got that at Harrisville switch. A book agent took refuge under a haystack during a thunder storm and the lightning struck him on the cheek, glanced off, and killed a mule two hundreds yards away. Ex. In the theological class Brother McKay was lecturing an absentee in very severe terms. While this belies the statement, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," it proves the one, "Absent, but not forgotten."