16 THE ACORN Sophomore What are you thinking' about? Freshman I am thinking about my girl. Sophomore Well, what do you think of her? Freshman I have decided that the more I think of her, the less I think of her. An Unknown Circumstonce That Has Occured Ha! Ha! It was too bad We feel sorry for you, But it's your first and you did very well, Bananas! Bananas! Bananas! Poor David. Both Oranges, and Bananas are healthful: but you must study the meaning of sufficient and enough, then, well, that's all. No one knows just when the world is coming to an end. It may be any time. Students prepare yourselves for it. The only safe way to do this is to "Subscribe for Acorn." Wright (In Physcology) Prof. Lind, if a man is a coward, some people say "He is white livered." Is his liver white? Miss Wood Is fowl meat harder to digest than any other kind! Prof. Lind No, foul meats are not good for any one. Mary Well I mean chicken. Prof. Lind How many kinds of death are there? Clarence Two the death of just dying and the other being-killed. Thanks girls, thanks. We are glad you gave us that reception. Bingham Moses went to his father-in-law. Peterson That's too indefinite. Bingham Why? Edwin Because he had so many fathers-in-law. A Romance Least We Forget On December 22 after school had dismissed for holidays, a young-man, Henry Packham by name, wanted to catch the 4:25 car to go home. So in great haste he changed clothes, as he was going to leave his school clothes at his room. He had everything ready, except putting on his coat and overcoat. Being excited and having so little time; he took his overcoat, put it on and out of the door he went, leaving his coat in the trunk. On arriving home he learned there was a dance and so prepared for it. When it came time to go, he could not find his coat: said the children had misplaced it. Had all the family in search of the lost coat but it could not be found. Next day he happened to be in town and went up to his room, seeing the trunk wide open, went to shut it, and o! my what did he discover but his coat! THE ACORN 17 The Rev. Sam Jones says that the bartender resembles a louse because he gets his living from the heads of the families. So, therefore, must a phrenologist resemble the said louse. "Reputation," says Sam Jones, "is a glove that may be thrown aside." Yes, I've noticed that the reputation of a pugilist depends largely on the glove and the way he throws it. Student The school-orchestra should have a set of bag-pipes. Orchestra leader The idea is good, but the musicians would all want to play the pipes at once. Student Well, to prevent trouble, do with them as the Fridians do. Orchestra leader What is that? Student Give them a pipe a piece. Teacher What mineral substance is as valuable as a diamond? X If the present coal-famine continues, the price of the coal-nugget and the diamond will change places. Bro. Ballantyne (on a rainy day) This is a good day for ducks. Walter Yes, a person thinks he is walking on level ground when lo! down goes the surface and up to his neck goes the walker, ducked to a finish. The common school teacher may know very little of music but he generally knows the use of the staff, and the bars; the out-of-town student is pretty well acquainted with the flats and some of the sharps, and he keeps pretty good time. Three four, and six eight, are usually his hours. A student of the Academy entered a prominent bookstore in Salt Lake and asked for a copy of "Woodstock." The clerk, with a very blank look on his face, hesitated awhile, then conferred with another employee who came forward with more assurance and said, "Let's see,Woodstock Woodstock is the author, isn't he?" At the next store the clerk in the midst of her search remarked, "you don't know the author do you?" I asked Geo. if they were going to the dance he said. Mary Wood and Chloe Wood but Frank Wood'nt. Why does'nt Prof. Balantyne say something to Edwin when he makes discords at choir practice? May be Edwin owes him something. Why did Grant blush so, when Arthur asked Pearl where she got that new ring? Everybody knows it came from the jewelers.