"I had a boiled egg served me for breakfast with the name Genevieve on it." 'Now, isn't that romantic?" "It didn't strike me as being so romantic, there was also the date, 1908." When Rastus Johnsing's son arrived, He looked just like his poppy. In fact, the Doctor done declared, He was a carbon copy. Country host (to arriving guest)-"Hello, Jack! Drove over with Miss Cuddles, eh? Ripping sleighing, but cold going, ain't it?" Jack (cheerfully)-"Oh, I didn't notice it." Host-"All right, then. Come in and thaw that ear-ring out of your mustache!" Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to the well Then went and got a shotgun and blew it- She found its head on the Blue Ridge mountains and Its tail in the lonesome pine. Ronald was dancing with Marian when the soft strains of music prompted him to express himself in the following way: "Darling, until tonight my life has been a desert." "Oh," broke in the sweet listener, "I wondered why you danced so much like a camel." Freshie-"Have you heard about the girl that was taken to the hospital?" Soph.--"No! What was it?" Freshie-"Well, she was so cross-eyed that the tears ran down her back and she had to be operated on for Backtearia." "Fat" Browning was a guest at an eight-course dinner recently. After each course toothpicks were passed so as to avoid mixing courses. All went well until the eighth round when "Fat" very humbly remonstrated. "No, thank you," sead he; "I've eaten seven of those little sticks already." Principal Barker once went to a hotel to stay over night, and the waiter took him to his room and said : "Mister, if you find the bed a little buggy and have a nightmare, just hitch the mare to the buggy and drive off." Oh! Miss! Allow me! What hands! 1 can only compare them to those of Venus De Milo!" The owner of a small town theatre posted this sign in a conspicuous place: "Remember the Chicago fire, do not smoke." It brought such good results that he put this one up: "Remember the Galveston flood, do not spit." A Ford owner was driving his Ford down the street with one leg over the door. As he passed a little boy, the boy said, "Oh, Mister, you have lost your other roller skate." Two good natured Irishmen on a certain occasion occupied the same bed. In the morning one of them inquired of the other: "Dennis, did you hear the thunder last night?" "No, Pat, did it raily thunder?" "Yes, it thundered as if hevin and airth would come together." "Why in the devil, then, didn't you wake me, for ye know I can't slape whin it thunders?" LeRoy Leishman (as he chews some old cheese which is inhabited-"Yea, and I've killed my thousands and tens of thousands." Harold B.-"Yes, and your only weapon is the jawbone of an ass." Doc. (in Physics, talking about electric currents)-"How is a street car started ?" Critchlow-"The conductor rings two bells." A grocer in Ogden advertises that he has whiskey for sale, that has been drunk by all the Presidents, from General Jackson down to the present time.-Ex.