Vic Critchlow (pounding himself on the head with a hammer). L. Brewer-"What are you doing that for, you poor nut?" Vic.-"Because it feels to nice when I stop." As Ellen rushed through the hall, she accidently dropped her music. Before it could be recovered Andy Poulson stepped squarely on the music roll. "Now I can't play," murmured Ellen, "every one of the notes will be flat." Everything comes to Nick-even the girl he is waiting for. Customer-"Do you keep stationery?" Floorwalker-"No, I move about and answer questions."-Ex. Brother Barker was cross-examining a young woman in our morning exercises one clay. "How old are you?" he asked?" The young woman hesitated. "Don't hesitate," said Brother Barker, "The longer you hesitate the older you get." Leland Evans (in Devotional)-"This morning we will hear from the orators who will represent us in the Rich contest, but first we will have a solo, 'Peace to Thy Spirit!' " Cora Kasius-"What is it, place cards or placards?" Dave Goddard-"Aren't they those things in the back of girl's dresses?" Abe Stevens (in shop)-"What is the easiest way to drive a nail with- out smashing your fingers?" Ridges-"Hold the hammer in both hands." Victor C.-If one fellow, becoming angry with another, ripped the latter's coat badly, and the affair was taken to court, would it be a case of "Schlitz?"-Ex. Fat B. (in Theology)-"Have you seen our new motto?" Squab-"No, what is it?" Fat-"Walk on your heels." Squab-"I don't get you." Fat-"Gee, you're dense. In other words, save your souls." Marian (while studying verbs)-"Read, Red, will have Red." Venice (at telephone)-"Send me up three bales of hay and one bag of oats." "All right; who for ?" Ven.-"There now, don't get gay; for the horse of course."-Ex. Vera Jones-"What is thunder?" Cora-"Oh, a mild form of cussword."-Ex. A little Freshman girl, walking down to class with a big Junior said: "Did you forget something?" "Undoubtedly," was the reply. "More than you ever knew."-Ex. Teacher: "You act like a horse in here." Student: "I came in to stall."-Ex. Venice-"Open the window, I'm going to throw out my chest." "This is a nice time of the night for you to be coming home, Roy," "I know it, but I didn't have anywhere else to go."-Ex. Doc (in Chem.)-"What is water?" Ed-"Water is a colorless liquid which turns black as soon as we put in our hands."-Ex. Mrs. Shurtliff (in English)-"What do you consider a short sentence?" Fat-"Thirty days."-Ex. Dr.-"Ycu must be operated on at once." Pete-"Is it very urgent?" Dr.--"It is: my office rent is over due now."-Ex. Said Brewer: Ruth rode in my new cycle car, In the seat in back of me. I took a bump at fifty-five And drove on Ruthlessly. -Ex. Freshie: "How old is that lamp, ma?" Ma: "Oh. about three years." Freshie-"Turn it down, it's too young to smoke."-Ex.