18 THE ACORN this number 1448 have been in the hands of adults and 1228 in the hands of children. Philosophy 16 Religion 19 Sociology 100 Natural Science 76 Useful Arts 19 Fine Arts 34 Literature 135 History 95 Travel 95 Biography 70 Adult Fiction 1029 Juvenile 921 Current Periodicals 16 The per cent of fiction during- the past month is lower than it has ever been before, being only 75 per cent. The output of the United States mints during the month of August was $9,213,000, all gold coin except $193,000 in half and quarter dollars. No dimes, nickels or pennies were coined. For the Republic of Panama, the mints made 402,000 silver peso pieces and 1,000,000 half balboas. Effie Reast. Gleanings From Exchanges Too Many For Him. At the conclusion of the regular lessons at a certain Sunday School the superintendent made a short address to the assembled classes. At the end of his remarks he said: "Now all you boys and girls that would like to go to Heaven when you die hold up your hands." Instantly every child had a hand in the air except one little fellow sitting in a far corner, who, in response to the superintendent's question, "Don't you want to go to Heaven?" replied, "No, siree, not if that crowd's agoin'." Hard on Norah Scene, the Wilson's dining room. Nora "Plaze, ma'am, will ye be afther tellin' me whin I'm to know whether the puddin's baked or not." Mrs. Wilson "Stick a knife in the middle of it, and if the knife comes out clean the pudding is ready for the table." Mr. Wilson "And, Nora, if it does come out clean, stick all the rest of the knives in the house into the pudding." Just So Mrs. Scrappington "There are sermons in stones, you know, and" Mr. Scrappington "Yes; I think myself that our pastor preaches like a petrified man." A school boy, on being asked by his teacher how he should chastise him, replied, "If you please, sir, I THE ACORN 19 should like to have it after the Italian system of penmanship the heavy strokes upward and the down strokes light." The Freshman's Soliloquy My hat band goes around my hat, And while there's nothing strange in that, It seems just like a lazy man Who leaves off where he first began. But then this fact is always true, The band does what it ought to do, And is more useful than the man, Because it does the best it can. The Bishop and the Druggist One day a bishop chanced into the shop of a druggist who was very fond of a joke on somebody else. The druggist, wishing to have a joke at the bishop's expense asked: "'Bishop, can you tell me the difference between an ass and a bishop?" The bishop could not. "Well," said the druggist, smiling all over, "An ass carries its cross (burden) upon its back, but a bishop carries his cross (of gold) on his breast." "Very good" replied the bishop and then continued: "Now then, my friend, can you tell the difference between an ass and a druggist?" After some hesitation the druggist answered: "No, sir, I can't." "Neither can I," retorted the bishop as he walked out. Ex. Temper is so good a thing that we should never lose it. Mrs. Plaindame gazed long and thoughtfully at a plaster cast of Shakespeare, then sighed and remarked: "Poor man, he couldn't have been well when that was taken." They had all been asking conundrums. "Who killed his brother Cain?" asked Jones. Sneider fell into the trap at once. "Abel," he shouted. Later in the day he came in laughing. "I trapped the parson, by jove!" he exclaimed. I asked him, "Who killed his brother Abel?" "Cain," he said at once. "Ha," I said, "I knew you'd say that. Every one does." I came away and left him puzzled enough, and I doubt whether he's found out yet what the matter was. Youth's Companion. Nature, impartial in her ends, When she made man the strongest, In justice, then to make amends, Made woman's tongue the longest. Why is an author like a queer animal? Because his tale comes out of his head. The weakest point in every man is where he thinks himself the wisest. Little Eddie, aged six, was being taught by his father to read Eng-