8 THE ACORN systematically every day, it can be easily remembered. The trouble with most of us is that we do not see things in relation to each other. Professor Clark says that all great things on earth resolve themselves into a question of true value of true comparative relation. Then, if we see one point in it* relation to others, if we have a definite outline of the subject in mind, the remembering part will be easy. Lessons thus prepared are easily reviewed before examination without cramming. A hasty scanning of the lessons will be sufficient preparation, for the mention of certain headings will bring up with it a number of associated ideas; and, as a result, a clear concise paper can be written. Time is saved in such preparation and worry is cast away. This procedure is easy, time-saving, strengthening, and systematic. Instead of dreading examinations, we look forward with pleasure to them. Students may become so systematic and thorough in their studying that they will love to have examinations in order to tell all they have in their minds. Then an anticipated written review is like the coming Christmas dinner. EXCHANGE. A KANSAS SPITTER. As the train stopped for ten minutes, and the man, who goes along tapping the wheels with his hammer, was passing rapidly by the smoking car, one of the windows was hoisted and a torrent of tobacco spittle was ejected which completely deluged him. The machinist paused for a moment, and, wiping some of the stream from his person, said to the offender, "Mister, what part of the country did you come from?" "Me?" said the spitter, puckering his lips for another expectoration, "I came from Kansas." "I thot so," said the machinist, "for if you had lived in Massachusetts of Connecticut they would have had a water-wheel in your mouth long ago." Ex. DUTCH INDIFFERENCE. "Sir," said the Yankee, "you promised to vote for my bill." "Veil," said the Dutchman, "vat if I did?" "Well, sir, you voted against it." "Veil, vat if I did?" "Well, sir, you lied." "Veil, vat if I did?" Ex. CHEAP FREIGHT. "Please, sir, what's the fare from New York to Chicago?" inquired an Irishman one day of the ticket agent of the New York Central Railroad. "Eighteen dollars," replied the agent. "An' what d'ye charge for a pig or cow?" "O, three dollars for a pig, and ten for a cow." "Well," directed Pat, "book me as a pig, then." Ex. "Yes, I want my daughter to study rhetoric," replied a Vermont mother, "for she can't fry pancakes now without smoking the house all up." Ex. Professor in Physics, turning a machine, "Now you see this is turned by a crank." The class smiled. Ex. THE ACORN 9 LITERARY. THE OLD SOLDIER'S DECORATION. Early Decoration morning an old man was seen walking with the aid of a crutch over the grave-yard. He wore the suit and pin of a Union soldier and in one hand carried a bouquet of white roses. He looked neither to the right nor to the left but went straight along as though he knew the road well over which he was going. He toddled along over the sand until he came to a lot containing several well kept graves. He opened the gate reverently and walked in. After walking around each grave and looking at it closely, he took a rose from the bouquet and pinned it on his own coat, then laid an even number on each grave. Being tired and almost exhausted by this time, although it was yet quite early, he sat down on a shaded bench in the corner of the lot. As he sat there thinking his mind naturally ran to the lives of those dear comrades lying under the ground; of the pleasures they had enjoyed so much; of the long marches they had had together; of the hardships they had borne so bravely, and he began reviewing to himself the history of their past lives. "Now there was Jack, the chum of my boyhood days. O the many happy hours we have spent together. The little school we attended, the games we played, the birds' nests we hunted. Jack was always the favorite of the crowd; the boys looked up to him as their leader. The teachers loved him because he was always so bright in school. "We grew up to manhood together; Jack was still a favorite, respected wherever he went, he was so manly and good. "When the war broke out I wanted to enlist. Jack said if I went he would go too, so we sent in our names, and then and there solemnly vowed to be true to our country and to each other. We went. We fought bravely; but one day Jack was shot. I saw him fall but could not stay to help him. I went back as soon as possible but found him dead. I had his shattered body cared for, and sent home, and he lies here, his name still honored and revered by all who knew him. "And there is Dick, who after serving his country long and faithfully, got permission to go home on a visit. He came to me full of joy and told me that within a few short hours he would be at home with his wife and little ones. He had no more than finished the sentence when he dropped dead at my feet, struck by a stray bullet. Oh, how cruel that seemed! Why could I not have gone in his place? I who had no wife or little ones anxiously waiting for me at home. "And there is Will who left his dear old mother and father at home, waiting and praying for their son's return. He came back but not to stay, for he was sick of a fever and after lying unconscious several days, died, and left his parents to mourn the loss of their only child. "There is Joe, who fought bravely until the war was over, and returned to claim the girl he loved, and did so much good in the little community in which he lived, gaining the love and good will of all; and here I am with very few relatives and sometimes I