26 THE ACORN Resolved: That all who are not boosters should not be boosted. Mary: What kind of cake is that? Alberta: It's the kind I eat. Mary: Then it must be "Devil's Food". Prof. Jensen (in Geom.): A rhombus is a square which is not a square. Clix: It is indeed an honor to be a sweetheart of a departing missionary. We've got to choose sides now. To which ranks do we belong, boosters or knockers? Once the Sophomores had a party, And they brought all kinds of lunch Ice cream, cake, and also candy And of course they had some punch. But the Freshies sly, by watching them, From the window took the screen; Then they crawled in through the window And stole the Soph's ice cream. Now dear Sophomores don't be angry, Though we will admit 'twas mean; But next time you give a party, Just look out for your ice cream. Whoever the hypnotist was who put our Student Body to sleep, send him back to wake us up. (Please) Note: Academy girls wearing triple-plated complexions will please get it from druggists who advertise in the Acorn. And, Oh! Yes, Merry Christmas to Stewart and Edyth, tra la. Heat follows work. Things are beginning to get warm in the Student Body. Let's make them boil. Great credit is due the Domestic Arts Department for the success they made of their party and for so nicely furnishing their rooms which at first looked so barren. Prof. Shurtliff (in Rapid Calculation Class): Dont be so all-fired slow. Prof. Jensen: It's just as Shak-speare said: "Of all sad words of tongue or pen," Spend two or three minutes in finding out who deserves your patronage. The Acorn advertisers want it the others don't. Have you plenty of blue tickets? Patriarch David McKay gave the Preparatory Class two nicely framed pictures of six of the presidents of the United States, Washingtan, Grant and Roosevelt; and Lincoln, Garfield and McKinley. Miss Wetzel (in Typewriting): A student who cannot control his tongue cannot control his machine. THE ACORN 27 Bro. Marker: Stevens, you are reading with your book upside down. Stevens: Oh, I am looking at a moonlight picture and studying Mars. Prin. McKendrick: If you've got a thought to think, think it now; if you have a task to perform, perform it now; if you have an opportunity to help some one, thereby helping yourself, do it now. Prof. Jensen (in Theology): I would rather be of the lineage of Joseph than Ham, why? H. Reeder: Because if you were of the lineage of Ham you would be a pig. Edna W.: Everyone look at your "Chaucer's and see if it's my "Macbeth". Our fireman, Mr Visser, is not only an expert with machinery, but he has displayed some skill as a painter, as is evidenced by the wood work in the basement rooms. I wonder if Mr. Scowcroft knows that Mr. Ford entertains Miss Ballantyne in the office the fourth period every day. "Ford's my business manager, I don't object. Scowcroft. Prof. Jensen: What is the woolen mills? Prof. Mills (who was standing near by): Some kind of Mills, but not very wooly. Every member of the Weber Academy Board was present at Opie Read's lecture. Martha S.: Elthira Thomas has stopped school. Prof. Mills: Is that authentic? Martha: No sir, it's a girl.