22 THE ACORN Prof. Lind: "When Florine unites with Hydrogen what is formed?" Belva (caught flirting with Joe): "Oh er yes Bro. Lind?" Doesn't it tickle you when you see another fellow trying on your hat and finding it too large? Prof. Terry: "Well Joseph, I have been looking for you from cellar to garret." Joseph: "I came from garret to cellar, that's how you missed me." Jennie: "Isn't it strange that mere is such a strange thing as love?" Katherine: "Well, it would seem strange if there were not such a thing." Nearly all the wars of England were bloody and fierce, but one of the English history students has described a war that must have been very gentle; for "England" said, she was conquered by Angels. Q.: "What did Lot's wife turn to before she turned to salt?" A.: "She turned to rubber." Prof. Terry: "Briant, go up to room K and tell the history students we are meeting in room N." Briant went and after about five minutes he returned and said: "There are not any history students up there, Prof Shurtliff has a class in" he paused, and his pondering face brightened, "Oh I didn't go to room K; I went to room N." Prof Porter's Drawing of a Heath. Given to the Students in German II. "Now Students, I shall draw you a picture of the heath, as we translate." Drawing a circle he continued: "First there is the short grass (a) that covers part of the heath; next a few fir trees (6) and a few junipers (f). Now we find that there is a slight elevation or hill (d), on the top of which is an overhanging rock (e). It was under this rock (t) that the shepherd boy used to sit and watch the sheep and goats. Oh yes! There were also some dwarf birches (f) scattered here and there; we must not forget those. And around the heath were some mountains (g). Now have you students an idea of what the heath looks like?" Prof. Lind: "What do people do to water gas to illuminate it?" Birde: "They light it." Victor: "I have thirty cents to last me until I get my money from home, so I shall have to spend it with prudence and care." Aaron: "No, you don't! You're not going to spend it with Prudence." THE ACORN 23 Miscellaneous The Careful Penman A Persian penman named Aziz, Remarked, "I think I know my biz. For when I write my name as is, It is Aziz as is Aziz." Carolyn Wells. I cannot spell the old words now; I know not what to dough; Perplext enuff by all the slough That I am wading thru. Perplext, indeed, to knough altho The roe of shad is not spelt rough, Woe should be wo and whoa be whoough? I do or dough not knough or no. O Wo! (Or wough!) The Rhyme for Twelfth "There are bookth that I have on my thelvth It his declare that no word rhymth with twelfth," Said Lisper Nigee. "How eathy for me! Thtoopid writerth! It rhymth with themthelvth." Ex. There was a young fellow named Allen Tyne, Who proposed to the lovely Miss Ballantyne; When the lady said, "Yes," He said, "Well I guess Miss Ballantyne's Allen Tyne's Valentine!" Carolyn Wells. Tact Impulsive Visitor (to whom country hostess is showing her photograph album) "Oh! who is that homely man?" Country Hostess (with dignity)"That is my brother." Impulsive Visitor (mending matters) "How stupid of me! I might have known!" Ex.