16 THE ACORN The Basket Ball boys are pleased to think they came out of Provo safe. Provo has a good big school as far as buildings are concerned but they did not come out to show they had many loyal students. Walter Emmett had been dozing for half an hour; then emerging from the library he said, yawningat the same time, "It is impossible for me to study in the Study Hall." Of course we all laughed, excepting the custodian. Whereupon Mr. Emmett put his word into action by looking at the custodian until that august person smiled aloud and at the same time pounded for order. Delphia (taking her turn at being teacher in Geography class,) Which one of the British Isles produces the most and best machinery, in fact, all the inventions? Pupil Ireland. Delphia Why I always understood that England stood first. Pupil Well, I know Ireland does produce it, because it always has "Pat's" name on it. Belnap Wiley, why do you like to live on the other side of the cemetery? Cragun Well, you see, we can never be sure of Heaven, and so, for security I've taken a home beyond the grave T. E. McKay has lately been elected "bell ringer" between the hours of three and four. He is trying to break himself into his new duty, but so far has failed to remember it, until he hears Bro. Terry coming to remind him of the fact that it is five minutes to four. He feels rather discouraged, but we are sure that after a little experience he will be able to warn the school, by ringing the bell with an expert hand. Why did the horses be-come so frightened Thurs. afternoon, Feb. 16th, previous to Armstrong's Lecture? The band played "The Baggage Coach Ahead" and the teams were afraid of the train. The horses began backing in the yard when the band played, "Go Way Back and Sit Down," but they did not reach the gate, because the tune was changed to "You Can't Play in Our Yard." THE ACORN 17 Finally they started off to the tune "The Band Played On." Prof. McKendrick (In Algebra) Mr. Peterson can you state that formula? Peterson No sir, I have forgotten it Prof. No, you haven't; you never remembered it Explanations are Required for the Following. Why did Bro. Lind fail to show up in the Physics class on the morning of Feb. 20th? Also, why did he lock himself in the library during that hour? Why did Plum wear his colors the next day after the game? Why did Victor Chugg consent to have his hair cut? Why did Principal McKay look so attentively and anxiously towards the ceiling of the pavilion during the game, the other day? (He was only wondering where Bro. McKendrick went.) Why did Bryant Jacobs throw up his hat and shout for joy when he heard the report of the game? Why did the members of the Faculty, who went to the game at Provo, remain so long at the Insane Asylum?. Why are the students seen running through the halls each day with lunch baskets in their arms and eating as fast as they can, five minutes to one o'clock? Why did so many students limp and complain of their corns the morning after the dance? (We need a larger dance hall.) Why do the students in general, show so much interest in the Acorn? Why doesn't the band play ail forenoon as well as all afternoon? Why do they practice so many new tunes? Why do the Freshies look so longingly out at the warm sunshine and sigh,