12 THE ACORN Locals. Yes the Sophmore boys areheros. They raised their flag above the building-, took off their hats to it, bowed to it, and the next morning-pulled it down. It looked as though a storm was coming, and they didn't want it to get wet. Have they a Training School at the B. Y. U. at Provo? Judging from the bunch that came to Ogden, I think not. Prof. McKay: Are you all ready to give up "Life?" Miss Allen: "He addressed the chair," is a metonymy; container for the thing contained. Prof. Lind: The movement of the molecules in the earth create heat. Wm. McKay: (Under his breath.) Then the molecules in hell must be moving at a pretty fast rate. Prof. McKay: "Pres. Garfield was killed." Has that sentence 'clearness?' Earl: Pres. Garfield was not killed, he died from the effects of being shot. Why did the Seniors have salted peanuts at their dance? Because they had such a fresh crowd. We have one tender hearted man in our faculty. The world needs more of 'em, but it can't get 'em. So it will have to get along as best it can without 'em. Just then Willie threw a basket and Lettie yelled; Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, 'cademy. Bro. McKendrick, (in Algebra) "We have finished that part of today's lesson. Pass on!" The student walking silently from Bro. Terry's room into the hall, nearly fell over. I wonder why? Teacher Do you prefer Physical Geography this semester?" X No Sir; I prefer Physical Culture. Bro. Terry (English History Examination) Name the kings of England as far as we've studied. Maud Sisman Do you want the queens too? Bro. Terry Yes if they happen to be kings. Miss McKay What is the masculine of bachelor? Mr. DyeWidow. Teacher Give the principal parts of burst. Miss G Burst, burst, burs-ted, Mr. D. busted. THE ACORN 13 The Basket Ball Solo "After the Ball A basket ball boy named McKay, Made a basket wherever he'd play-He never would leave 'er; A fine basket weaver, We hope to see Willie some day. A boy in the bloomers called Doxey, Made baskets exceedingly foxey, But the last that he made Put our foes in the shade, And our army's not governed by Coxey. We still have another called Budge, And he never would tumble or fudge. He was right when he played. If you needed his aid, You had only to give him a nudge. And Watson was there with the rest. He could put it wherever he guessed, And where he would play, All the foes felt dismay, And they'd each amble back to his nest. And Belnap the boys call him John, Could do it without putting on. They tho't him severe. Why, we think queer, They're everyone glad when he's done. The last of the team we called Brown And he never let any come down: But they stayed in the rack Like a jig in the sack And the foes wore a terrible frown. Bro. Bradford And as the Restoration has been resulted in a great many new and improved inventions, as an example: A few years ago the grain was threshed by a cradle (laughter) not a baby's cradle, then the Pitman mower was invented; soon the reaper, the binder, the header, and the threshing machine followed; and now in the wheat fields of the Dakotas the thresher and header are combined and run by steam or a great many spans of horses, so that a wagon going along at the side of the machine is filled with clean kernels of wheat ready for the mill. All this is done right in the wheat field. Student And soon they'll have a flour mill, an electric oven, and a refrigerator attached so that the workers may have biscuits or bread served hot or cold on the spot. In Freshman class meeting: Vice President, Miss Carver If any of you say something get up, and think it on your feet. Bro. Bradford (in Physical Geography) In one of the pot holes in a glacier a fossil elephant has been found. What's that a sign of? Miss Staker That the hole must be pretty big. Ray Bingham (leading school yells) I like to sing solos but I don't like to sing them alone. First student I was certainly cut out to be a dummy. Second student You have fulfilled the measure of your creation then. When did Locke live? In 1632. That's when he was born, he lived the rest of his life after that.