16 THE ACORN One man may be more cunning than another, but not more cunning than every body else.-Franklin They had started for a stroll. "There is our minister," he said. "I'm going to ask him to join us." To join us? Oh, George, this is so sudden! But hadn't you better speak to papa before engaging the minister, dear?" The Pharos is improving rapidly. The articles on "Utah Birds" are educational as well as interesting. Welcome 'Advance,' we bid you a hearty welcome. Your paper is to be highly commended. Come again. What is hope? A smiling rainbow-Children follow through the wet; 'Tis not here still yonder, yonder; Never urchin foud it yet. Thomas Carlyle She: "Be frank with me." He: I can't. My name is James." "Now Tommy," said Mrs. Bull, "I want you to be good while I'm out" "I'll be good for a nickel," replied Tommy. "Tommy," said she, "I want you to remember that you can not be a son of mine unless you are good for nothing." Bill had a bill board. Bill also had a board-bill. The board bill bored Bill, so that Bill sold the bill-board to pay his board-bill. So after Bill sold his bill-board to pay his board-bill, the board-bill no longer bored Bill. An Alluring Offer The sign "Will pay $10. for 1902 King Edward ten cent pieces" at-tracked the attention of a passer by, who, looking through his change discovered that he had two of the required coins, entered the store. THE ACORN 17 "I see you are paying $10. for 1902 King Edward ten cent pieces?" he said to the proprietor. "Yes" was the answer. "Well here are two of them." "Albright" said the proprietor examining them. "You have only to bring in the other nineteen hundred and I'll give you the $10. Sneezing What a moment, what a doubt! All my nose is inside out, Pyramid shinocorostic, Wants to sneeze and cannot do it! How it yearns me, thrills me, stings me! How with rapturous torment, wings me! Now says "sneeze, you fool get through it." Shee shee shee oh! 'tis most del jshi I shi ishi- most del ishil (Hang it, I shall sneeze till spring!) Snuff is such a delicious thing. Leigh Hunt. In Arithmetic Bro. B. Registering. We are arranging the roll alphabetically. Are there any A's present? Student Body. No Sir!!! Bro. B. This is Awful! Bro. B. Are there any B's present? Student Body. No Sir!!! B. B. Well this is Bad, but my name begins with B, that makes it Better! B. B. Any C's? Olsen. I don't see any; that's Certain. B. B. Any D's S. B. No Sir!!! B. B. Well! Well! This is Deplorable; a few D's are Desirable here. B. B. Any E's? S. B. We are all Ease personified. B. B. My! That is Excellent. B. B. Any F's? S. B. Yes Sir!! B. B. That's Fair, but it might be Finer! (Student aside) I think its Fierce! (laughingly). B. B. Mr. Jacobs, you seem to think this is Funny. B. B. Any G's? Girls (in a Body) Yes Sir! B. B. That is Good! Grand! Who are they? S. B. The Girls!!! B. B. Goodness Gracious! You frighten me." B. B. Any H's? Hold High your Hands! Hurry!! B. B. This is Horrible! Stop Harboring Hate! I will Have no Hot Headedness in Here. Any I's? Student (rising). Yes Sir! B. B. This is Insignificant. Student, reseating himself, mutters, I think it Insulting! B. B. Any J's? Boy Students. Yes Sir, we're all Jays!!! B. B. My! you make me Jump. Don't be so Joyous! Any K's? S. B. None. B. B. (softly). I guess Kays-word hasn't been introduded. (Loudly) Any L's?. Girl (rising) Yes Sir, a Lady!