28 ACORN "Sing a song of students Filled with zeal and vim, Working with enthusiasm, Boosting for a gym. When the gym was planned The school board all went broke, And to our disappointment The gym went up in smoke. Boys upstairs, talking of athletics, Girls in the kitchen, studying dietitics, The team in the lecture hall practicing each day; Along comes a rival team, takes championship away." Moral: "Build a gym." Freshie (upon being told that Pete Kasius was going to give his inaugural address)-"Well, I don't need to stay, I already know where he lives." Doc. Gowans, Jr. "What size sweater do you want, Clix?" McCune "Number 34." Doc. "You can't get that on; you must consider the size of your head." Our manager is surely a sport, He is fine, I'll tell you what, 'Cause he went down town the other day And got a sporty college cut. And it's whispered, though a secret, That he told a Senior girl "I'll bet that before 1912, I'll have a moustache I can curl." Ballantyne "Ed, you'll need a shave before you go to the dance tonight." Bingham "Verna likes to be scratched a little." Query "Why is the Weber Academy like a bootblack?" Answer "Because it polishes the understanding of its patrons." ACORN 29 David Eccles "There were ten boys in a row. The teacher slightly pushed the end boy and the head boy fell forward ten feet." Boyd Lindsay "I don't understand that." Dr. Lind By way of illustrating this extraordinary phenomen, an entirely insignificant amount of energy in the form of a push was applied by the demonstrator to the terminal member of a series of ten masculine bipeds. The foremost member was unceremoniously precipitated headlong ten feet along the rostrum." "Is it clear now?" I would like to meet the fellow That will get my job when I croak; I'd like to give him a point or two On how to write a good joke. I'd like to say before I go, "Dig in," old man, and don't shirk; But if the editor's one like Nelson, Poor 'cuss,' you'll have to work." ASSOCIATE. Lindsay was on the reception committee Of the Athletic dance; And in a dark corner he received, (It was not by mere chance). And entertained Mame Herbert From the third to the nineteenth dance. Miss McKay (in history) "The Sparatans elected the senate by shouting: Similar to our ayes (eyes) and nos (nose)." Florence Young "If you hear a cartoon, drop it into the black box." Student Body President-"Now Mark, you've got to keep good minutes this year." Secretary "All right, old man, but don't say anything about keeping good hours."