CHIVALRY AND BE HANGED Continued from page 7 "To the bottom of what?" she yelled. I tried to get up enough courage to talk, but that took time. I stood there awkwardly with my mouth wide open and then I finally spoke. "Why do you hate my guts?" "Listen," she screamed, "I hate all runts and you're no exception." I could have told her that many of the greatest men in history were short, but I just didn't think of it at the time. I then took a deep breath and said, "Well, I'm tired of taking your guff, and if you don't stop we're going to come to blows." "Come to blows," she yelled. "Why, you little devil, do you think you can lick me?" I was feeling more bold now, and I quickly replied, "No, but I could sure give you one heck of a time." "Okay", she barked, "in fifteen minutes I'll meet you up by Camel's Rock." "I'll be there", I said, "but you just make sure you come by your lonesome." After that she turned and hurried into her tent. The next fiftten minutes were the worst I've ever spent. The minutes seemed like hours. With each passing second I got more and more scared. Finally the time came. I trudged reluctantly to our meeting place. Donna was there waiting for me just coolly sitting on a rock. When she saw me she didn't move a muscle. She just gave me that piercing look of hers. I walked straight up to her and said, "Well, if this is what you want let's get started." She still didn't move. I began to think that maybe she might back out, but I've never been more mistaken in my life. With the swiftness of a cat she pounced on me, sending us both tumbling head over heels down the side of the hill. There was an exchange of words, most of which I cannot remember. She was the first one to jump to her feet. I lay there on the ground trying to figure out just what had happened. When I saw her pick up a rock my mind instantly oriented itself. I rolled over just in time to see it bounce harmlessly below me. With the help of a bush I crawled to my feet. "Okay, you damned little so and so," she screamed, "let's see if this one misses." She flung the second rock, but this time I wasn't nearly so lucky. It crashed into my chest and sent me once more sprawling on the ground. I just lay there gasping for air. All through my childhood I was taught to honor and obey two principal forces that were God and the female sex. Never lay a hand on the delicate females. Show them great respect and courtesy. Be chivalrous. For eighteen years I had this drilled in my head, and now within a mere few days I had had it all knocked out of me. "Chivalry and be damned," I thought as I lay on the ground. I groped to my feet just in time to meet Donna's on-rushing charge. She was swinging with everything she had. I dropped to my knees and grasped her legs. She immediately lost her balance and tumbled to the ground. The language that she used must never be repeated. I quickly jumped to my feet and ran over to a tree to rest. Within a matter of second she was again after me, but this time I sought protection behind a large pine. "Wait till I get hold of you, you little bum," she screamed. Finally my pride overwhelmed my fright, and I again met her in mortal combat. She grasped my hair and flipped my head down to meet her uplifted knee. I once again became familiar with the stars that I had seen previously, but I didn't go down. I started swinging rights and lefts every which way. Finally one connected. It was the most wonderful feeling I have ever experienced. She fell back stunned, and I followed this up with a volley of more rights and lefts. She groaned and then tumbled to the ground. I had won, but instead of getting a wonderful feeling of victory, I felt rotten inside. I stumbled to a nearby stream and let myself fall in exhausted. That night my whole body throbbed and ached. When it was getting along toward nine o'clock and the kids' bedtime, I herded them into their tents and then stood numbly in front of the dying fire. I just stood there gazing at the embers, when all of a sudden I heard a noise behind me. I quickly spun around and saw Donna approaching the fire. She had a somewhat disheveled appearance like myself. Neither she nor I said a thing; we just gazed thoughtfully into the embers. Finally I glanced over at her and caught her eye. She just looked at me but this time not with the cold scrutinizing look that I was so used to. She then smiled and so did I. The feeling that circulated through my body was indescribable. I then gazed up into a sky that was just filthy with stars. I needed no background in the so-called science of astrology to predict the outcome of my remaining few days at camp. Some women like their men rough, so all you have to do is beat the socks off them. 24