A Brand New Mother Goose ("Darn right!" says the Editor) Ride a cranked Ford To Riverdale Side, To see some dear students Out for a ride. Heads on their shoulders And arms clasping tight- They startled the natives With such a weird sight, Jerry, Jerry, quite contrary, How are the twins, forsooth? I'm all in a pickle, they think I am fickle I can't tell Ruby from Ruth. Little Jack Horner, In our cafeteria, Sat eating fruit salad and pie. He tipped up his tray, And it all rolled away, An' he said "What a dumb egg am I.' Mary had a little lamb, But wait, we'll fool you yet. It was such a long time ago It's now a ram, I bet. Rock-a-bye, Sooners, sleeping in class, Beware, for the teacher is soon coming past. He'll give you a whack and a shove, that is all, And out will go Sooners and books in the hall. Little Miss Toughit Thought she could rough it, Up in the hills, but oh my! The boulders all dragged her, The bushes all snagged her, Till oh, how she longed for a guy! Sing a song of ten cents, The Elephant's usual fine, The members all do what they please, And then get socked a dime. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick Bring your own stuff if the punch needs a kick Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, Boys' cooking class, Try to make something Of that crumby mass. Press it, and mold it, And work as you may, Then put on some frosting, And throw it away. Blaa, blaa, black sheep, Think you're pretty fast, Hut stacombed hair and tango steps And snappy lines don't last. Your hair won't stay so shiny, Your line will soon be cheap, And tango steps go out of date, So blaa for you, black sheep. Jack Fleet is such a cheat, In every single class, He makes an A From day to day While others barely pass. Peter, Peter, shy cake-eater, Liked a girl but couldn't keep her, He bought a Ford and derby swell, And now he keeps her very well. There once was a coy young Mr. In the dark met a girl and he kr. He jumped in the lake When he found his mistake For the squaw that he kist was his sr. Little drinks of moonshine Little games of pool Make a little student Hunt another school. There was an old woman Who backed down a well An' if she ain't stopped, By now she's in-China!