22 ACORN Yankee," "Register" (Boston, Mass.), "Register," (Burlington, Vt.), "Student Rays," "The Tattler," "Utah Eagle," "The Classicum," "Science and Craft," "The Index," "Forum," "Bellerivian" (Bellerive, Switzerland), "The Chronicle" and "Red and Black" (Reading, Pa.). "If you can't laugh at the jokes of the age, laugh at the age of the jokes." Conductor Your fare, Miss. Senior Girl Really do you think so? That a certain bridegroom was a trifle nervous on the eve of his wedding is evident from the following statement: "T T Say, Doctor, is it kistomary to cuss the bride?" Lady You surely drink too much whiskey, sir. Why don't you drink water? Hobo I have an iron constitution, mum, and water might rust it. A valiant fireman died. The following words were inscribed on his tombstone: "Gone to his last fire." (The morning after the night before): "Is there a man with soul so dead, Who never to himself hath said, Gol durn the thickness of my head." Examiner Little girl, what do you study? Little Girl Reading, writing and gozinta. Examiner Gozinta? What is that? Little Girl Why, two gozinta to four and three gozinta six. Athletics Continued In our praises of our basket-ball team, we have almost forgotten the other boys, who have worked so hard to get the team in shape. Nevertheless we appreciate the work of the "Scrubs," or more properly our "Second team." Those much-needed steel lockers are now in place in the athletic room, filled with basket-ball togs. Those sweaters for the boys are still forthcoming from the Student Body. LOCALS. "With your conscience keep square." Good advice it is true, But we can't help but swear, When the locals are few. MYRTLE AND RAE. Miss Dica Darby, who was quoted in the last issue of the Acorn as having said that Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham and Bacon, declares that a mistake has been made and wishes it to be understood that she has studied the Bible enough to know that Noah had five sons, and their names were Shem, Ham, Eggs, Coffee and Doughnuts. James Stevens (in English) "Himself is in the possessive and objective case and is used as subject." Clarence McCune is so interested in the Acorn that he is growing A-Corn on the back of his neck. Prof. Porter assigning problems in algebra) "Mr. Herrick eight (ate) Jack Eccles-six." What makes Wilford's face turn so red when he hears of the evil in "Beverage?" Ina (in zoology) "Mable, have you got the crayfishes legs on?" Mable "No. That's the only thing I lack."