LOCALS A warning to the girls! Don't put these jokes too near your face Or you'll be blown to chowder. It's dangerous to place dry things So near a store of powder. Miss Cleghorn "Clarence, who is Hecate?" Clarence Johnson "Queen of Hades." Miss Cleghorn "Yes, where have you met her before? Although the Freshmen lost their ice cream and punch, never mind, they will have the full faculty and police force at their next party. Professor Hansen (in Commercial Law) "What is a contract today?" Read "It is the same as it was yesterday." Miss Cleghorn (in English "G" 4th period) "Where were you on Monday, Ernest?" McKay "Was in bed asleep." Miss Cleghorn "Well! I hope you enjoyed your slumbers. Where were you, Angus?" McFarland "I was in the same place." Miss Cleghorn "My goodness! You two boys see me after the class and I'll give you a recipe for waking up in the morning." Mid pleasures and palaces We'll roam, if we get the chance. In the meantime we'll enjoy ourselves By attending the Senior dance. "Sweets to the sweet," said Miss Cleghorn, "Is a saying that's old, but true." And since the night of the Junior ball Professor Lind says he thinks so, too. ACORN 25 Professor Jensen (in class) "We will now hear what the boys have to say. Miss Stephens, will you give us your idea?" Professor Hart (Algebra) "Who worked the twentieth?" Hutchinson "I worked it wrong and got it right. Now I have worked it right and got it wrong." Miss Cleghorn's "Put on your Old Gray Bonnet." Put on your thinking bonnet, And write me a sonnet If you don't there's no credits for you, Tho' you think it perfection To your deep dejection, 'Twill come back all marked with blue. Blossom Johnson's "Mary had a little lamb." Mary had a little limb, And every place that Mary goes That's where I want to be. Ben Harker "Die Wacht am Rhein." Oh Fatherland, dear fatherland, Among the students here I stand, Teaching them German "cuss words" every day, So when they swear no one knows what they say. O! to be a Senior, to be a Senior tall, Why? said the haughty Junior To the poor little Freshman small, So I could walk like a soldier, Was the little Freshie's drawl; O don't you know the reason, You're as dense as the rest of your kin. Don't you know that Seniors Are wearing the new class pin? Mary and Pearl were sitting the study hall, Mary said, "Let us go home as soon as we get Hail Columbia." Principal Henderson (to Earl Wardleigh) "If you come down to the office I will help you out."