Phunisms When reading funny things like these, Let your mind be bright and clear; In every one there is a joke, Or we would not put it here. Indignant Freshie "Prof. Cowles forgot to mention the Freshie's yell master when he spoke of the 'squeaks of the school.'" Major premise Insects have wasp waists. Minor premise Girls have wasp waists. Conclusion Girls are insects. Hansen "Mr. Heiner, why are innkeepers considered in the same chapter as bailments?" Spencer "Because you are not supposed to pay for a meal until you eat it." It Pays to Advertise A merchant once did get so wise. Me said "I'll never advertise; I can get the Weber trade ; Ha! I never was afraid. Just see my neighbor 'cross the street. He advertises things to eat; I'll never be a loony fool And advertise to help a school." By and by, to his surprise, The Weber students all got wise. Each one his parents had advised The merchant gained who advertised. At last the grouchy one did say, "Maybe to advertise will pay" And he did. -Ex. ACORN 23 Bertha "Oh, I left my back in the other room." Pearl "See where Lloyd tore my belt." Ben "Did he get his arm tangled in it?" We "I can't decide whether to go in for painting or poetry." She "Well, if I might advise you, painting." He "You've seen some of my painting, then?" She "No, but I've heard some of your poems." Ex. A lady neat came down the street; The car was passing by. A dreamy hat, all winged and flat, Adorned her head on high. She ran quite far to catch the car; But still she could not fly. Lady Customer "Have you "Kissed Me by Moonlight?'" Clerk "Why er er; it must have been the other clerk." Ex. Father to Son "When I was your age my father never let me go out at night." Son "You had a dandy father, didn't you?" Father "I had a blamed sight better father than you have, young man." Ex. Mabel (on geology trip) "Doctor, some one back here wants you." Dr. Lind "I am sorry, but I am previously engaged." Aggie (who was walking with the doctor) "Then I am goins back." Dr. Lind "Don't give up so easily, Miss Stallings, as long as there is life there is hope." Prof. Cowles (in English) "That definition is incomplete." Verna "Well, that is what is the matter with me, then." I tried to call her honey, But she stung me, yesiree; And now, you bet your money, I call her honey bee. Ex.