Phunisms Authors who wish contributions to this department returned will please enclose a two-cent stamp. Critchlow (in Physics) "We don't know who has to take this special test. How do we know whether we flunk or not?" Lind "All students who failed have been informed, except two or three, and they should call today and find out." If there was a pretty rose growing out in the yard, would Floyd Pickett? If Floyd wouldn't, Rulon Wood. "John, run down in the basement and get me some excelsior." "What's that?" "You know, it's that long sawdust." Prof. "Who is one of our greatest inventors?" Student "Henry Ford." Prof. "Why was Henry Ford one of the greatest?" "Student "Because he invented a machine that made walking a pleasure." Mrs. McCune (Miss Engstrom) "Mrs. Brown, we shall be neighbors now. I have bought the house next to you with a water frontage." Mrs. Pearl Cragun Brown "So glad! I hope you drop in some day." Heard in the Study Hall "That bunch of Sophs sound like a bunch of donkeys and magpies serenading each other." The only reason I wrote this is to get rid of it. (Editor's Note The only reason we publish this is because the waste-basket is full.) Bro. Jensen "Was Joseph the youngest son?" Leland Evans "No, but he was younger than some of the older ones." Bro. Dixon (in History) "Do we inherit wisdom?" Glen Chandler "No, it comes natural to us." ACORN 24 Mrs. Tanner "England consumes 64 pounds of sugar per capita." Yvette "Plow much per cattle did you say?" In Juniors' Class Meeting. President "How many of the boys have brought their chickens yet?" Picket (sitting with Tressa) "I've got mine right here." Wilson "Write a sentence with a subject and predicate." Pete Anderson "I can.t" Mary had a little skirt Tied together with a bow, And everywhere that Mary went, She simply couldn't go. Dixon "The Greeks carved all their heroes." A Freshman to his friend "You know Willie Jones' neck? Well, he fell in the ditch up to it, and it broke every bone in his purse." "What makes the boys love Ellen so?" The jealous girls did cry. "Why, Ellen loves the boys, you know," The wiser ones reply. Mrs. Shurtliff (calling the roll) "Theodore Herbert." Theo. "Partly prepared." Mrs. Shurtliff "Only partly prepared? I wanted a clear record today." Theo. (resignedly) "All right then prepared." Earl Wilson to some Juniors "Never mind, Red Jensen is only a heating apparatus." The following notice recently appeared in Wright's window: "Boy wanted." Freshman applied for the job. "Do you know the city well?" asked the manager. "No, sir," replied the Freshman, hopefully. "But I could find it." Pardoe "Mr. Browning, how do you conclude your speech?" Fat "How do I conclude that this was a speech?"