20 THE ACORN Mary Tanner: "What is the difference between voluntary and involuntary?" Mary Shaw: "When you wink when something-is passed before your eye it is involuntary, but when you wink at a boy it is voluntary." Frances G (in Algebra): The sixth square root of five is" Myrle: "Leone, shut your eyes and turn round here and look at me." Lelia (just finishing her last piece of candy): "O, give me some more so I won't have to waste my teeth on nothing." Small boy: "What does Jr. stand for?" Miss Cleghorn: "Jr. stands for junior, the son of his father." A question: Why is it that no other student dare go into the library the first period but Nina Winters? In class meeting after Victor Sears has given a suggestion, Alma Winters: "I am afraid that's a good idea, but--" Read: "What are disembodied spirits?" Professor McKendrick: "Well-l-l maybe you've been one and maybe I've been one, but I'll tell you if we keep on we'll be one in the next world" (In church history on secret marriages) Bowan Hadlock: "A man would have a hard time to get married now, without anybody knowing it." Professor Mills (explaining old times in southern Utah): "Well actually, I saw the time when a ticket seller at a traveling show gave a man a carrot in exchange, when the man paid his admission, with a large pumpkin." Verna (looking in Lulu's Zoology book): "What kind of stuff do you call this?" Lulu: "That's zoology." Verna: "Oh! is that what you call it?" Student: "We haven't had a Rheumatic club yet." Prcfessor Jensen (in Geometry): "Would you call this pencil long or short?" Miss Brewer: "Well I should think it is longer than it is short. THE ACORN 21 In Rhetoric some one knocked on the door Alberta Wright answered and turning to the class said: "Is Jacob Riis in this class?" After having my fortune told I find that I must many a medium tall, dark complexioned young man. Anyone seeing such a person send him to Eva Sorensen. Fred Jensen (in devotional): "How many know what the 'Acorn' is?" (No hands) "Well I believe it." Professor Mills (telling a story to illustrate emotional speaking): Kiss me, kiss me, O kiss me." Pretty girl (aside): "If it were only Professor Harker I would." Lost A military pin, two swords crossed on the way to school Wednesday. C. F. W. Jim (to Lillian who was reading the Bible): "You can't find the name McDermott in there, for it's an Irish name and you are reading a Jewish Bible." A boxing contest is going to take place between "Jimmy" Scow-croft and "Joe" Eccles over a small affair. Miss Lucille Ballantyne has been secured to referee the bout. Professor Harker: "He was going to do or die and he did it." Heber (in council meeting): "Has there been any trouble in the classes?" Winters: "No, everything's too slow to have trouble." Professor Hintze (at the basket ball game with the dummies): It seems funny that the blind boys who can't see should yell for the deaf boys who can't hear. Professor Hintze (in chemical laboratory, explaining the result of breathing a certain deadly gas): "So if you happen to die off without knowing it, then you'll know why you died." At one of the basket ball games Herbert Reeder was leading a yell squad around the hall and Principal McKendrick was heard to say: He looks like a steam engine followed by a train of empties." Note Empty cars always make the most noise. Frances (multiplying in Algebra): "Proceed as in ordinary division." Three cheers for the Juniors, Their dance a success, Not only the longest but also the best.