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Show 20 ACORN "To arms, to arms," the damsel cried. A patriotic girl was she. "To arms is right," the youth replied, While his features flueshed with glee, "And that's my limit, too," he said, Not for a moment did he doubt her, But swiftly to her side he fled, And straightway wrapped "two arms" about her. Ex. Evolution of a Student. Freshman Please, ma'am, I did not understand the question. Sophomore Give me the question again. Junior I don't get you. Senior Huh? Ex. Pat "What did you do to help win the victory?" Mike "I climbed up to the top of the hill and cut off the enemies' feet." Pat "Why did you not cut off his head instead of his feet?" Mike "O, that was already off." Ex. Irritable Old Man "Say, does this car always make this racket?" Chauffeur "No, sir, only when it is running." Ex. Easterner This town looks like a bunch of accidents waiting to happen. Ex. Registrar of Votes "How old are you, madam?" Ancient Female "I have seen nineteen summers, sir." Registrar "Er-um. How long have you been blind?" Ex. Ren "Do you love me still ?" Reta "Of course, dear. The stiller, the better." Ex. "Did you make those biscuits, my dear?" asked a young husband. "Yes, darling." "Well, I' rather you wouldn't make any more, sweetheart." "Why not, my love?" "Because, angel mine, you are too light for such heavy work." Ex. Miss Hayes "Every time I hear about an orange it makes me think of Christmas chimes. They resemble each other so much." Miss Poole "Where's the connection between an orange and Christmas chimes?" Miss Hayes "Why, it's all in the peal." Ex. PHUNISMS All jokes intended for publication in this department should be written on tissue paper so that the editor can see through them. In talking of how charcoal absorbs odorous gases, in Physics Class. Junior to a Senior "You had better put some charcoal in your shoes." Advice to Advertisers. Late to bed, early to rise, Work like h--and advertise. Phyllis (eating lunch) "No one could beat my pie with a brick." Little Freshman, why look so green? Are you afraid you will be seen? We all know you look very small, When standing beside a Senior tall. Little Freshman, be not afraid. Poor little green boy or maid, Nobody'll hurt you, please don't cry, Mamma will come for you bye and bye. Doc. Lind "What makes the dew on the earth?" Freshie "The earth revolves so fast it sweats." Red "Say, that Alice is pretty fast isn't she?" Paul "You bet, she told me that she had covered five laps already this evening." Freshman "What is the difference between a donkey and a doctor?" Senior "I don't know." Freshman "If you don't know the difference between them I wouldn't want to send you for the doctor." Brother Dixon (in History) "I think we should change our National Emblem to a turkey. It serves humanity, doesn't it?" Critchlow "No, I think humanity serves the turkey." |