22 ACORN David J. Wilson will be glad when this prophecy in the Scriptures will be fulfilled: "When seven women hang to one man's coat tail." Then, perhaps, Mamie, Elizabeth, Mary, Emily, Phylis, Yvette, and Ivy will all have a chance at him. Soph "That vase reminds me of D- T-'s face." Freshie "Yep, hand-painted." A maiden who lives in Shenango, Thought she'd take a wee fling at the tango; When she flew in the air And lost all her back hair, She said, "Goodness! where did my bang go?" Junior "I climbed to the top of the pole to see what the sign said." Soph "What did it say?" Junior "Wet paint." Bro. Holton (in Com. Arith.) "What is a concrete number?" Freshman "A number made of gravel and cement." Mrs. Shurtliff (Writing exam, on the board) "Correct this sentence: 'The Northern states won the Civil war and the onion was preserved.'" Soph. (Thinking of dinner) "I thought onions were pickled." A sentence in the theme on Dr. Bradford's talk: "Every man in this world has a place to fillfull." Manning "Ernest, what must we do before we can expect forgiveness of sins?" Shreive "Sin." Dr. Lind "Where in nature is mica mostly found?" Student "In quartz." Unruly Student "No, in pints." Fred Massa Picture Framing and Artist's Material ACORN 23 When you come to Editorials, don't overlook, but look over. Barker is our principal, we shall not want (another), He maketh us to walk through the halls, with closed mouths and manly stride. He leadeth us in the path of strictness, for his namesake. Yea, though we pause in the halls, we are driven. For we fear much punishment, for frowns and words discomfort us. We feareth strict discipline, and our pockets runneth over with paper and gum. We prepareth for bawl-outs in the presence of the Student Body, Surely if this good work continues all the days at Weber, We shall live in idealness forever. Bro. Dixon (in History) "We haven't heard much about home rule in Ireland since the beginning of the European war, have we?" Alta Neilson (aside) "Does that mean the women are to rule?" THERE'S NO FUN IN A GRAVEYARD. GIVE ME MY FLOWERS FOR CHRISTMAS The Flower Shop Telephone 73 Eccles Building Dr. Lind (in Geology) "Bro. Browning, name three kinds of springs." Fat (thinking) "Bed springs, wagon springs and auto springs." The Adventures of Pete. There was a little man, and his name was Pete. He came to a party to get something to eat. Instead of going to the front door, as he should, He climbed in a window, any way he could. Unluckily for him, the lights went out, And he was so scared he couldn't get out. Barker called the "bulls," and up came the "roller," And the bulls found Pete, who thought he was a goner, Alice and Vera were there that night, And saw Pete accused of dousing the light. Vera went out and pleaded with Barker, Who, no doubt, just couldn't resist her. So Pete got away with only a lecture, And he and the rest lived happy ever after.