Phunisms If wishes were phunisms we'd make you laugh. Hansen (in commercial law) "What is the meaning of Ltd. in a partnership company?" Heiner "Why It means not reliable." "How did you like Ben Hur?" Arch Stokes "It would have been fine if the wheel hadn't come off." Jensen "Is it my little son?" Cragun "Keep still; it is a gentleman." Effie "I don't like the sun when the snow shines." Dr. Lind "Make that line so light that you can just see it with a hard lead pencil." ma "Speak to me," she said, stroking his hair gently. "Speak to me," she said, looking in his gray eyes. This he could not resist, so he said, "Mew, mew." Verna "Oh, no; I always speak twice before I think." Shurtliff "See that your themes are handed in on well-written paper." Bruce "If some of these girls will go home with me next spring I will show them a skeleton that is fifty-five feet long." Dave "Which one do you want to take?" Rhea "Have you had any experience in hooking up?" Lindsay "Horses or waists?" McKay (in German) "Please repeat that sentence; my mind was elsewhere." ACORN 23 Bernice Leaman "I wish that Warren Hussy wouldn't dance with me, because I knock him with my knees, and the crowd could sweep him away and I'd never know he was gone." A girl was complaining to her chum of the way her steady was treating her. "Why don't you give him the mitten?" the friend asked. "It isn't a mitten he needs; it's a pair of socks; he's got cold feet." Ex. The Songs of Some Weber Girls. I wish I had my chemistry, I wish I had some spunk, I I wish I had the doctor; O dear, I hate to funk. My Albert has gone on a journey, My Albert is down by the sea; Oh, who will go over the mountain And bring back my Albert to me? You ask me what keeps me smiling so I'm thinking of Wilford of Idaho. I do love Lloyd's red hair, I love his eyes of blue; I'm happy as a little lark, Because he loves me, too. If Billy doesn't go to school, He's lovely just the same; He comes on Sunday as a rule, And Violet is the dame. Senior Girl "Richards and Vera were having it out on the stairs. I had to look twice to see where her head was." A school paper is a great invention. The Staff gets all the fame; The printer gets the money The Editor the blame. Ex.