26 ACORN Ina "Thackeray never used any bad grammar, for every time any one swore he left a blank." McKay "Give an example of an active volcano." Alta "Old Faithful in Yellowstone Park." Prof. "What are you doing? Learning anything?" Student "No, sir; listening to you." Ex. Adelaid "Fielding says I have the prettiest mouth in school." Bill Baggs "Oh, pshaw! I'd put mine up against it any time." Dr. Lind "Where there is no phosphorus there is no thought. Where thought exists there also is phosphorus." Dave "How much does that phosphorus cost?" Hogan "What is Clark's first name?" Jim "You have his note right there on the signature." Cowles "Do the people in Cranford talk like real people?" Laurel "They talk like women." Ina My goodness, my hair looks like I'd slept in it." Bertha "Why, didn't you?" Arba "Oh! I have a whole pain." A New Year's Resolution. We, the undersigned students of the Weber Academy, after having debated and considered the matter for the past six months, have unanimously decided to abstain from attending public dances at the Colonial dance hall for the year ending December 31, 1913. (Signed) BOYD LINDSAY, JACK ECCLES. Prof. Cowles (after watching the rare and interesting phenomena of Marian Read going into hysterics at the peculiar antics of Slim Richards) "Don't laugh at him, Miss Read. It only makes him worse." "SLIM" RICHARDS Says THIS IS GOOD ADVERTISING We Are Asking Him To Prove It 3. S. LEWIS & COMPANY, jewelers WE FIT SPECTACLES AND EYE GLASSES THE NOGGLE STUDIO FOR CORRECT PHOTOS KODAK FINISHING 2434 Washington Avenue Phone 3885 THE COZY 326 Twenty-fifth Street Telephone 1801 J HARRY KORB, Prop. The Best in Everything CANDY ICE CREAM MILKSHAKES and Soft Drinks of all kinds STUDENTS! Help Those Who Help You. The Business Men of Ogden pay mostly for your "Acorn" therefore give them your patronage. When buying from advertisers mention the "ACORN"