29 ACORN Lost Five hours' sleep between Delia and Fritz. Finder please return to owner and receive reward. Mattie had a little dog, Its name was Very Hot, And every time she took a bite, Some water cold she sought. Doc. Lind (while angry) "Them's the ones that don't never do nothing in class." "Go away from me," said a fashionable lady to a tramp. "I would not have you touch me for a dollar." "I was only going to touch you for a dime, lady." Selected. "I hear yer wife is sick." "She is that." "Is it dangerous she is?" "No, she's too weak to be dangerous any more." Ex. A speech may be compared with a wheel: "The longer the spoke the greater the tire." Ex. Angry Woman "What are you, I should like to know a man or a mouse?" Henpecked Husband "A man, unfortunately. If I were a mouse, you'd be half way up the lamp post, yelling for mercy."-Ex. Bro. Manning (in a noisy Botany class) "When I was your age I didn't make half that much noise." Ellis Barker "Well, you're sure making up for it now." Lamont P. (in Theology) "There were no women among the Hebrew children." Bro. Jensen: "Where do you get your authority for that statement?" Lamont "Why, because it says Tie-brews,' and if it had beer women it would have been 'She-brews.'" Frank "Hasn't Delia Tracy a well shaped arm?" Friend "Why, do you look at her arm?" Frank "I wouldn't if she would keep it covered." ACORN 30 In English a rather sleepy student was asked to use "awakened" in a sentence. Student (who was sitting next to "Fat" Poulson, who had been running up stairs) "Pie was suddenly awakened by the puffing of an engine near at hand." Gladys "And would you really put yourself out for my sake?" Leland "Indeed, I would." Gladys "Well, then, I'll have to ask you to do it. It's awfully late." James Leishman was taken by his parents to hear Melba at the Alhambra. While there he saw a lady using a pair of opera glasses. Next day, describing his outing to a friend, he said, "The singing was great, but you should have seen the woman with the microscope." Fred and Delia were in the parlor at a very late hour one Sunday eve. Fred (on his bended knees) "Speak, Delia, this suspense is awful." Bro. Terry (through key-hole) "Yes, Delia, speak; this expense is terrible." Girlish Figures Must be carefully corsetted. Girls who wear corsets not properly fitted are in danger of great harm to their naturally good figures. Warner Corsets are Scientifically designed and made. Our expert corsetiere knows the right model for your particular needs. She will fit you with the corset if you wish, so that new style gowns will conform your figure as they should. Warner Corsets are sold in Ogden at this store only. Prices range $1 to $3. Wrights