31 ACORN (Officer entering the band room) Prof. Nichols: "Are you looking for me?" Officer: Oh, no, sit still; I only wanted to look around for a few minutes." Wilson (in English)-"Describe hand writing." Fat. B. "It looks like the trail of a drunken catapillar." Dr. Lind "Look over your papers when they are returned, note and profit by your mistakes." Jones "I never make mistakes. It's the other fellow. I copy." A -Freshman's Poem. A cautious look around he stole, His bags of chink he chunk; And many a wicked smile he smole. And many a wink he wunk. In Mrs. Shurtliff's English Class. Welcome, welcome little bell, How I love to hear your knell, My, what joy it brings to me, For it means relief, you see. "Indigestion." As we came to the foot of the stair, We met Professor Barker there. "Are you chewing gum?" said he. "No," for we'd swallowed it, you see. Shurtliff "Give an example of a compound relative (meaning pronoun.) Leishman "Father-in-law." Reliable Goods at Reasonable Prices brown-carlson-treseder Clothiers and Furnishers 2421 Washington Ave. Your money back if you want it. ACORN 32 In a recent lecture in Physiography, Dr. Lind expressed his idea of heaven. According to his conception of heaven, it is a place where persons will have at their command an unlimited supply of text-books on Geology and Minerology; a place where the blissful ages of eternity will be spent studying all about rocks and minerals; a place where the boys on the back seat will not disturb the class by answering out loud. An English Prayer. Little airships in your flight, Drop no bombs on me tonight; How I wonder who's you are, Up above the earth so far, Like a sausage in the sky. Ben Young (in History) "Does the pope wear a mask when he's in his garden?" Bro. Dixon "No, he just walks around." Query: "What would he do if he were masked?" Freshie "Heard the latest?" Soph. "No." Freshie "It's all over the school." Soph. "What?" Freshie "The roof." Rae Loffgreen (in French) "I'll read the paragraph, Bro. Barker, but I'll need some help." Bro. Barker "I'll give you help and some, too, with the 'P' left off, if you want." Dixon (in Theology) "Did Adam and Eve partake of the tree of Life?" Fat. "They partook of the fruit." Dixon "Miss Rheese, where did the Greeks win the first battle, on heaven or earth?" Miss Rheese "On earth." Dixon "No, it was on the sea." "So Mary Read is married at last?" "Yes." "And who is the happy man?" "Her dear old dad."