26 ACORN I, the undersigned, a sober, reliable and trustworthy Sophomore of the Weber Academy, do hereby beseech the help of the Acorn staff. My case is worthy of your consideration, for I am followed night and day by Arba McGregor. I cannot dodge her, and as I consider a Senior above me, her attempted flirtation puts me in some very embarrassing position. Please lend a helping hand. Yours respectfully, WILLIAM MILLAR. Jensen "What happens to water when it is freezing? We say it is." Marcellus C. "Ice." McKay (in class talking of basket-ball tickets) "I would like you students to settle up for your tickets." Freshman "What tickets?" McKay "Milk tickets." Hansen (to L. Wilde, who was looking in room 12) "Mr. Wilde, what is the height of your ambition?" Lawrence "I don't know. She only comes up to my shoulders." Mr. Porter (in church history) "For Monday, will you please bring a paper entitled, 'The Early History of my Home Town.'" Arias "Well, I was born in one place and my parents lived in another." Professor "What effect does the moon have on the tide?" Student "None! It affects only the untied." Ex. Professor Henderson "I am sure it is worth a year in Provo to hear President Brimhall speak." Professor Cowles "There are some students who write worse than I do." Boyd "Well, who are they?" Do something for the 1913 Annual. After Professor Porter's talk of developing the part of one's self that is born long: Art Grix "I guess I will develop my feet." Student "You don't need to. They are strong enough." ACORN 27 A Senior Poem: I feel so queer I really fear That I shall faint If dinner aint When I get home. Little Boy "What is a court of last resort. Pa?" Father "To court an old maid, my son." Ex. Mrs. Shurtliff "He sat down intransitive." Ben Young "Did he get up transitive?" McKay "What is oxygen?" Marie Denkers "Well, it forms about one-fifth of the atmosphere and nine-eighths of rocks." Hansen (speaking of persons who worry over trifles) "Even such a small thing as a pin can cause some people great discomfort." Violet "Men should wear suits to match their hair." Lloyd "What would bald-headed men do?" Jenson "Let this be a class of recitation and not of hesitation." Ina "That is the way of it. Fools are always the wisest." Bertha "You see that's the way it is with me." Mable "There is some dandy material for our debate in the Living Digest." Ora "Say, Harold, what kind of a dress shall I get for the Junior Prom ?" Harold "A wedding dress." Lindsay "What's the matter with your shoulder, Jack? Did you get it hurt in the "scandal?" Jack "No, just threw it out dancing the other night."-Ex. James White "When we want a holiday we stand in one corner and yell like a bunch of rubes while the rest of the school says nothing." Hogan "How could you stand any other way?"