PHUNISMS A goat ate all our jokes, And then began to run, "I cannot stop," he paused to say, "I am so full of fun." Ex. If we were drowning would Bill Land-es. Leishman "Why are you taking that organ to pieces," John S. "I am hunting for the soul of the organ to see if I can find the 'Lost Chord.'" Dr. Lind "Miss Jacobs, what is a normal salt?" Susie (hesitating and then mumbling) "I don't know." Doctor "Yes I believe you were right." (In Economics) Gould "Do you know the difference between capital and labor?" Richards "No." Gould "Well, if I loaned you 15 cents, that would be capital, and if I tried to get it back that would be labor." From a Freshman composition: Patrick Henry was not a very bright boy. He had blue eyes and light hair. He got married and said, "Give me liberty or give me death." All great people are dead or dying, and I don't feel well myself. LEONE ENGSTROM. "Say, Richards, what tempted you to go with Vera?" Ren (absentmindedly) "Vera." Fister (in Geom.) "What is an arc?" Leishman "That's what puzzled Noah." Prof. Nelson (in English) "What did the goddess Io die of?" Eph "Iodide of potassium." ACORN 27 Freshman "Why does Brewer say 'whoa' just before he cranks his machine?" Soph. "The first time he tried to crank it, it kicked and broke his wrist." The world owes every man a living, but some men are too lazy to go out and collect it. Don't be given to snap judgment. Have some foundation upon which to base your opinions. Lots of men and things seem easy until you try to do them. Don't explain yourself too much; give the world a chance to think well of you. An Irishman once requested a picture to be taken of him standing behind a tree. "Adella is going to embroider 'W' on her linen set." "What for?" "Some say for Warner but just ask Earl Wilson." Paul Wright "My, but I would like to put my arms around Sadie Eccles." Bryan "Not for me. I'm no lemon squeezer." Millar (to Finn, who was sniffing the air) "Ozone, Finn?" Finn "No, toe-zone." Prof. Hansen was telling his class about the different kinds of hogs. John Wilde "I am built on the type of a beef hog." Richards "I'm sort of a bacon hog." Father "Johnnie, what are you making all that racket for?" Son "So I can play tennis with it." Father "Then you will need a bawl, too. Bring me the trunk strap, young man." Freshman (munching on stick of candy)"How many ends are there to a stick of candy?" Junior "Two, of course." Fresh "Well, that seems funny, I've bitten nine ends off of this stick and there are still two left." Ex.