24 ACORN Louis S. "If I were drowning, would Julia Wade for me?" Elizabeth "These steps remind me of that old "spoon" I had. Why There Are Professors in Provo. Student "I had the toothache, and my eyes watered so bad I couldn't see, and the barber kept working on my teeth until 6 o'clock, and I didn't have any paper left, and the store closed at 6 o'clock, so I couldn't get a new tablet. Then I intended to get it in the morning before school, and left home at 7 o'clock, but the car broke down and I didn't get here until 9 o'clock. Then I bought a tablet and intended to get it during Devotional, but Bro. Ridges found me and sent me up there. So you see, I've got a good excuse for being unprepared." Miss Earl (in Shorthand) "Mr. Guthrie, you take the front seat, and hereafter you can't sit with Miss Bowns." Clara "Oh, Miss Earl, have a heart." Cora (in Physics exam.) "Shall we answer the question in meters, or in feet?" Dr. Lind "Yes, yes." Bro. Wilson "Where did you get your list of mispronounced words?" Glenna Nelson "At the Relief Society meeting." We think Vera Jones had better not strain her vocal chords by singing "All Through the Night." It might ruin her voice. Ray "Josephine Shorten's face reminds me of a delicately tinted china cup." Emerson "Yep, some mug." "YOUR CREDIT IS GOOD" Ogden Furniture & Carpet Co OGDEN, UTAH ACORN 25 Parodies on Mary. Notice the power of suggestion. The first two were given in Devotional to illustrate parodies, and as a result the rest appeared in the Acorn box. Mary had a little lamp, It was well trained, no doubt; For every time that Jack came in, That little lamp went out. Ex. Mary had a little lamb, But now the poor thing's dead. But every morning it goes to school, Between two hunks of bread. Ex. Mary had a little lamb, Its fleece was of the whitest, Because it lived in modern times, It had appendicitis. Mary had a little lamb, And it was full of frolic. And every time it ate green grass, It made it have the colic. Trilby had a little beau, His hair was red as Dixon's. She took him to the Junior dance, The naughty little fixin's. Johnny had a little dog, Its name was Tomy Titus, And every time we came around, It had to come and bite us. Teacher "Why do you spell bank with a large B?" Student "'Cause pa said that a bank was no good unless it had a large capital." You will like the goods at The PAINE & HURST Dry Good Store The Place Where The Women Trade Everything for Women and Children