HORTENSE HATCH Born of only two parents: handicapped in life by a pug nose that the Weber Bum persists in mistaking for a doorbell, endowed with a smile that makes strong athletes mere putty in her hands, and possessing a cosmopolitan outlook on life that only a sojourn in California can give a person, she is a favorite campus character with females, females, and Marien T Read! ROBERT ALLISON Not a genius, but endowed with more positive qualities than some give him credit for (inquire about the cast-iron deal he made with Pres. Tracy) His favorite pursuit in life is Dora, his favorite recreations are trying to quit smoking, and riding home broke students; his one fault is borrowing matches, and his theme song is "What'll we Use for Gas." I'd land him any amount of money up to two bits. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN! FROM NOW ON I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR BILLS CONTRACTED BY MYSELF- A. GORDON HEARTS OR RIBS NEATLY BROKEN - BARGAINS ON WHOLESALE LOTS. E. SKINNER SEE ME FOR BOOKS! B. SMILEY %COLLEGE INN DO YOU NEED A LITTLE ENTERTAINER IN YOUR HOME? IF INTERESTED, PLEASE GIVE AGE AND SIZE OF BANK ACCOUNT - C. CHANDLER PHONE - NO. 6. FOR SALE - SACRIFICE! - ONE TALKING PICTURE OF MYSELF S. PATRICK. T. ELMER - COME BACK. ALL IS FORGIVEN. LUCILLE FOR SALE - ALL RIGHTS AND WRONGS TO THEY ALL WANT SOMETHING E. WHEELWRIGHT $500 REWARD FOR DEAD BODY OF THE SALESMAN WHO SOLD ME BOOK ENTITLED "HOW TO BE HAPPY THOUGH MARRIED" DEAN L. HINCKLEY FOR SALE, TRADE, OR WILL GIVE AWAY - ALL RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES TO MY TITLE - D. WEBER BUM. ONLY FROSH APPLY - DOES YOUR KIDNEYS LOOK LIKE THIS? SEE DR. RINGDINGING. LET US TAKE THAT CAMPUS PHOTO! GRAFF-GRAFF-AND GRAFF OUR FOTOS FREQUENTLY FLATTER. WAS OUR LORD A RAILROAD MAN? SEE ME FOR PROVING LITERATURE -OCK- WILL THE BOY WHO PHONED ME UP LAST NIGHT PLEASE PHONE AGAIN TONIGHT? I'LL BE HOME - G. HESS.