PHILOSOPHY ON MEN Hortense Hatch Men are upright bipeds who feel that this small world owes them a great deal of respect and homage; that their numerous merits be fully recognized with all proper and due appreciation; that the female of the species put forth unbending efforts to captivate these perfumigated creatures so "swellegently" allyooped in capter cutting cords. The habitats of these adult masculine ornaments of earth are chiefly: The front hall, rumble seats, and ye famous College Inn. All necessary nuisances falling under teh category indicated in the title of this essay subsist mainly upon hot dogs, milkk shakes. and Wrigleys. Their favorite occupatino is invigling sweeties (for one quarter, at least) into believing that their subtle charms and whimsical fancies are seasoned with the constancy of hamburgers to its onions. Ah - "Mean it or not" that is the question! Flowerly eulogies, banjo seranades, dormitory door storming, empty gas tanks! Alas they change! The new panic! "Where have you been all my life, baby? Pretty eyes blue arent they Think you could ditch your man? You're My Everything This is the line which is whispered into the skeptical ear of every damsel (crooked, isn't it?) Old stuff to the sofisticated ones to whom it is an age old thrill, but alluring, intreging and flattering to the new moth dancing with the new flame. Much may still be said and unsaid regarding these dapper dandies but my complete, concise and satisfying summary of such enigmas is WOMEN Shawn Twomey We see beauty in a woman, but that beauty is only skin deep. Again we find women who haven't even beauty, so they rush off to a beauty parlor for the one purpose of attaniing a degree of cover that will deceive and make men seek them. They go through hortous exercises to make their bodies attain the measures of a modern Venus. But still to attract men. Their hair must be curled or combed a certain way. Powder and lipstick have to be a certain shade to make their complexions. If they have a sickly pallor, they apply rouge to their cheeks, all this just to attract men. They wear skin tight dresses to whow men their shapes, they appear shocked if he should cast a coveted glance in their direction. If he doesn't they feel insulted. Mascara is applied to their eyelashes, the eyebrows are plucked, just to make them look mysterious. Certain lotions are applied to their limbs to make them hairless. Their legs are exposed so men may see them, if he is caught looking, the woman gives him a look of contempt for being so crude, and five minutes later, encourages him to take another peek. The modern girl of today not only uses the above methods to advantage, but even goes so far as to see how many fellows she can have at one time. The fellow that can show her the best time, who has the best looking machine, and spends the most money on her is then accepted as her steady company. To keep him interested, she will neck him, but seemingly does not allow for the fact that he is human, and puts up an awful howl if he should go too far. It is all right for her to allow half a dozen fellows to court here at one time, but if one of her beaus takes out another girl, whe outs and doesn't want to play that way. But just the same, the more dates she can get, the more popular she thinks she is. But at what price? Again we find girls who still use the time worn methods, but who have added another trick to make them more seductive. That of demanding a bottle of liquor to the accompaniment of a cigarette, with a swear word now and then to make them more impressive. But as you will notice, the fellows do not invite this kind to any place of social importance. He is afraid that she will forget herself and make him look rediculous. For as he knows, she is only skin deep and is too shallow to such a big risk with. Girl, as we have found out, are deceitful in their appearance and makeup but also in their mode of living. To one fellow they give the impression of sharry-eyed innocence, to another that of a worldly-wise woman, and to a third perhpas that of a duchess. But if one should rub the wrong way, well, there is no scorn as taht of a woman's scorn. But please bear this in mind, woman was made from man, but the man was stricken unconscious for that purpose, so he is forgiven. Even then the woman had toget herself a fig leaf to deceive the man. Amen