Ye Grapplin' Grannies didst ever beholde an grapplin' granny? 'Tis an butterfly coed, an guinea, a coy and shye as an shivering lamblet, bleating piteously for foode and warmthe. 'Tis astonishing for an peace-loving prig as I, behooving no turne of cerebrum with ye gabbling, chestitudinous Delta Phi, to witness such astonishing spectales of ye granny lamblets. Verily, before an Weber Dance approacheth maye be sighted said guineas at their work, as slye as six mices having tag with an tabby. Walways these grannies do sit about so daintily and coyly to reminde even an churle, of an poore gasping butterfly. Often lolleth and roll eye as an terrified mutton, on steps that adorneth pathway from lower to upper floore. Then as an gloating spider, do spin wed for an well-featured, downy chested male. When one approacheth and sitteth beside her, yon granny doth place both hands tight over eye and set up an howling as tho ten lions leapeth at her! In meantime, slye guinea coyly cuddles next to poore, astounded male, peeking thro fingers, she doth set up increased howling, kciking dainty feet, 'till duste assaileth one's nostril. Finally, male slippeth comforting arm rounde was-like waist, as guinea sniffle and telleth male that none careth for her and she findeth nothing to live for. Thro delicate mouthe worke, words swingeth round to speake of comign dance, and male prig discovereth poor weeping guinea hath no on to convey her. When prig asketh for date, you guinea jumpeth up and brusheth away teare in surprising haste to trip away and telleth girl friend about event. Mayhap an conference with Varney and Vaugh incorporated revealeth more fine points and newere method of capturing an male. 'Kim' Says Miss Varney to Miss Vaughn Man was made for us, I guess, To coddle and support our whims And echo answers 'yes'. News Item - Considerable commotion was caused at the Hotel Bigelow Friday last, when Wallace Manning, a Weber College student, got his ears caught in a revolving door. THE GOAT TURNS FOR ONCE!