PHUNISMS Dr. Lind (in geology) "Brother Richards, what are beaches used for?" Richards "For bathing resorts." Esther Thompson (in domestic arts) "If I don't get this dress done, I'll wear the pattern." Student (about Prof. Terry) "There comes the sport." Prof. "You are stupid; can't multiply two numbers I can in a minute." Student "I know, sir, fools, they say, are multiplying rapidly nowadays." Ex. THE EDITOR'S LAMENT. The life of a school paper Editor Consists in spending his time In reading stale jokes and old stories, And poems without any rhyme. The Staff all say, "We should worry;" They get all the glory and fame, The printer gets all of the money; They leave me the slams and the blame. So tonight as I sit by the fire And gaze at the holes in my socks, To my mind comes this pleasing reflection, "My only reward is hard knocks." ACORN 25 "Let's not be a swindler of education." Fister. Prof. Nelson "For tomorrow take the next three hundred pages; class excused." "If Venice Jones would quit hanging around me I would be very much satisfied." IRAS BINGHAM. A company is known by the men it keeps. Ex. Prof. Jensen (in theology, naming the colors of the solar spectrum) "There is purple, violet, green, red, yelligo, blue." Eva (to a college bug) "Nice little bug, come to your mother." And the bug did therefore come. C. Volker Arthur, why don't you keep all that nice furniture you're making until you're married?" Grix "Do you think you'd like it?" Prof. Fister "I wish that there was a higher grade in geometry than "A" so I could give it to Leishman. Bryan W. "Say, Paul, what makes you walk so lame?" Paul "There was a basketball game today and I got caught in the jam." Bryan "Do you remember when mamma caught me in the jam ten years ago? I walked lame for six weeks." "A Student Body without enthusiasm is like an engine without steam." Fister. Ed Baggs (in Physiology) "If a man was drunk and closed one eye would he still see two objects?" C. J. Jensen "I don't know, try it." Paul Wardleigh (in Zoology) "A silk-worm has a pair of pro-legs." Prof. Porter "Yes, all the same as a man's wooden legs." David Goddard (talking on Gracchus in Gen. Hist.) "He didn't die, he was killed." Prof. Ballantyne's motto B natural and C sharp.