26 ACORN They were discussing the new department. Leone "Irvin, are you going to the dance tonight?" Clarence (aside, so as not to disturb) "Well, leap year has come in a hurry." Miss Cleghorn "How do you spell does?" "D-o-s-e," was the quick response. Prof. Henderson "What is Dimorphism?" Fowles "I don't know." Prof. Henderson "You don't know and you are a Fowl." Prof. Lind "How high does water stand in a well?" Myrle Anderson "To its level." Dica Darby (in theology) "Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham and Bacon." Prof. Jensen (in phychology) "Some years ago I was knocked completely senseless didn't have any more sense than I have now." First Student "Did you take the 'Blue Ribbon' with that theme of yours?" Second Student "No, but I got the 'Blue Pencil.'" HOW TO KILL THE PAPER. First Do not subscribe borrow your classmate's paper. Be a moocher. Second Look up the advertisers and patronize the other fellow. Be a chump. Third Never hand in locals and be sure to criticise everything in the paper. Be a coxcomb. Fourth If you are a member of the staff play tennis or 'society' when you ought to be attending to business. Be a shirk. Fifth Tell your neighbor that you can get more news for less money. Be a squeeze. Sixth If you can't hustle and make the paper go, be a corpse. Seventh If all the above fail, go to knocking. Ex. ACORN 27 Prof. Harker "Mr. Nichols, what composes the universe ?" Nichols "Sun, planets, astertoads and plantetoads." Iva "What attracts Budge to Idaho?" Isabel "Bees." Irvin "What kind of B's." Barlow "Queen bees." Iree has a little "Beau," His name is Laurel Brown; She says he's just the dearest, sweetest, Cutest boy in town. He follows her to school each day, And as they keep their books They gaze into each other's eyes; With shy and sheepish looks. "What are you, Brown, a calf or lamb, Commercial students cry, And Laurel answers: "Neither one," But he winks the other eye. Liles "Won't you sit with me?" Cora "No, I'm afraid you will squeeze me (off the seat) Brown Drug Company 22nd & Washington Avenue Drugs, Soda Water Prescription a and Cigars Specialty Sooy the artistic Photographer