breath swished across his tongue, causing it to. be dry and starchy. He closed his mouth and clasped his lips tightly together. He gulped the renewed wetness, and the gulp gurgled in his throat. He felt the car wheels spin until they scraped through the ice, then the car jerked into the street. Natalie reached out and touched the dashboard; and as the car moved past the arc lights, they flashed in blurred balloons of light near her fingers. The light shuttled through the car with each arc-light and with each passing car. Natalie spoke. “I want to thank you for this, Launcelot, Sir.” She rub- bed her fingertips across the dashboard, making frost like lines that separated and withered away. “My—my name is Nathan Green,” he said. . “And my name is Natalie Smith.” She paused and looked up at him. “Ill call you. Lance, okay?” He tipped his head foreward, and a strand of hair slid down across his forehead. He smiled slightly and nodded. ; Natalie continued, “You — know, you're cute. | like your straight brown hair. and your long-long nose. It’s kinda’ curved like a ski jump, you know?” Nathan’s lips moved into a half smile. A lump sumersaulted down his throat. He pushed against. the car seat with his back. The foam rubber curved with his back, and he felt the soft but firm résistance under his legs. He glanced down at his foot on the gas pedal. His ankle bones stuck out in his silk socks, making the part of his legs between the pants leg and shoe look almost diamond shaped. He could smell the dirt covered oil smell of the floor. He could smell the citrus-sweet smell of Natalie’s hair. He could almost taste the sugary (22) lushness of it. Light flitted through the car to glare momentarily in the rear view mirror before darting away. The dashboard clock hummed and ticked. Natalie spoke, “I don’t usually do this.” Her strangely solemn voice hesitated. “It’s not like we’re strangers though. | live three houses down from you.” She laughed at his quick glance at her. “Oh, | know you’ve playing never noticed me—always that piano or something.” Nathan relaxed steering wheel. his hands on the The whiteness faded from his knuckles, flushed under the and his hands frozen red _ skin. ‘I—I saw you once at the library. | work there late some days.” She glanced sideways at him. “Yes, | know.” A light from a passing car reflected and gleamed in her eyes. ‘It's a quiet sort of job. li fits you.” Her voice had a touch of suppressed mirth in it as she spoke. He half turned to glance at her. She reached up and tapped two fingers on the rearview mirror, leaving two circles of fuz- zy lines. She spoke as she sat back. “ knew you’d be there tonight. I’ve seen you leave about this time some nights when | go to study.” Suddenly over the Nathan steering sat up, hunching wheel, and gazed intently on the icy road, He thought of words to say; but his mouth didn’t open, and his voice didn’t sound. His blood pulsed at his wrists, and his muscles felt weak and limp. He thought, “I know what | should say to this girl.” He twitched his lips, and his eyelids flicked. “What's the matter with me. “I just... . ” He sniffed and wrinkled his nose. “I'll bet you’ve caught cold,” she said decidedly. “It’s terribly cold outside. Maybe we'll both catch pneumonia and have to go to California together, her head for our health.” She back against the seat laid and laughed; her laughter rolled from between a row of ivory teeth and a round lower lip. She looked up sideways at Nathan, the lines deepened at the corners of her eyes. He laughed, a soft air filled laughter that sounded like the rush of wind coming from the tiny opening in the flywindow. Natalie sat up quickly. “This is the one,” she said. “That's my house. The one with the little light in the big window.” She sat back and waited as he turned the wheel and smoothed the car to the curb. Natalie spoke a little uncertainly. “Well — ah — well, thanks, Sir Lance.” She added, “i don’t want to leave you.” At that, Nathan’s whole body stiffened. His left arm jerked involuntarily, and his hand clutched the air before it settled on the steering wheel He blinked his eyes shut. When he opened them, he looked from the corner of his eyes at Natalie. His face followed his eyes slowly. She looked up at him and waited, her eyes wide and childlike and her eyebrows high. Nathan turned toward her, his left arm bent across the steering wheel and the right one at his side. He looked first at her hair. It waved up and back from her forehead and temples and curved back to touch her checks. He saw her lustrous, eyes with the happy forming at the edges. her high, round round lines already He looked at cheeks, her cameo nose and her curved lips. A deep dimple had tacked itself into her chin. He looked down at his hand on the seat beside fingers, the her hip, protruding at the tentacle tendons and muscles, and the taut skin. He thought, “Il should be home now, working and practicing with that hand. What's the matter with me? What's the mat- (23)