"THIS MEETING WILL PLEASE COME TO ORDER" "This meeting will please come to order. This meeting will please - Winnie, as vice-president, you ought to be more" "Close that book, Smedley. I haven't my lessons either." "Yes, but -" "The secretary will read the minutes." "Close that shorthand book, Smedley, and read the minutes." "Huh? Oh Madame Chairman, inasmuch as the club hasn't bought the secretary a book, there aren't any minutes." "Madame Chairman, I move that the secretary be reprimanded." "O. K. But please let me get my shorthand." "Is there any old business? Say, will this meeting please come to order? Norma and Pearl, put those jokes down or I'll" "Or you'll take them and read them." "I repeat, is there any old business?" "Yes, I don't want blue buttons." "The constitution says our uniforms have to be in club colors." "Madame Chairman, let's look at the constitution. Where is it?" "Well, you see it's this way Mother is house cleaning, and" "What's that got to do with Alpha Theta's constitution?" "Well, I can't find my looseleaf since she began, and the constitution was in it." "Madame Chairman, I move that you be severely" "This meeting will please come to order. Is there any discussion?" "Question." "Oh, is there a motion before the house?" "I don't know. All those in favor? Opposed? The motion is passed." "'I still don't want blue-" "Yes, yes, kitten." "Leave her alone, Retta. This meeting will please come to order. Will you girls please stop gossiping, and give Dahlia a chance to talk? She's been saying Madame Chairman for an hour. Any new business, Dahlia?" "Yes, what about our basketball team?" "That's right. We'd better think about it." "I'll think about it, but I don't want to play," "You'll have to, Velma. Who else will play? Elsie? Beth? Dot?" "We guess so, if you can't get anyone else." "Then that's settled. We'11 all play basketball if we can't get anybody else. Is there any more new business?" "Yes, Madame Chairman, I move we adjourn. The food's here." "But, Madame Chairman, I move we don't have blue buttons." "Sit down, please. This meeting will please come to order-just once more, please. Virginia and Norine, come back here. This meeting will please come to order." "Well, it did after all Alpha Theta members had gone home. H. L. This is page eighteen DECEMBER SWE-E-ET ADELI-I-I-NE! ASSEMBLY TIME IN THE INSTITUTION OF HIGHER LEARNING WHOOPS! CAMPUS HIGHWAY "YE OLDE BOARD WALKS" YES! NO! DEBATING BEGINS IN HARD TIMES EVEN GOLD DIGGERS HAVE TO RETRENCH EARL THOMAS BARBARA BROWN