THE HIGHLANDER FROG'S FROTH Why's Water Here it is less than a day before Thanksgiving and the city hasn’t even completed decorating the streets for Christmas. As a rule they try to have In Faucets? this done sometime between Pardon me, Sir. This is the July 4 and Labor Day. I supman on the street speaking to pose we can forgive them for being tardy this year because you from LITTLE-FINK, the of the elections. station that brings you past I was smart and completed news and dull advertisements— decorating my apartment last night after I got into the the station that not only puts Christmas spirit. (I meant to you to sleep, but wakes you up to save it for Christmas, but I got turn it off. Now, Sir, what is thirsty and opened it). your name, please? Anyway, I got one of those “Ah, ’m a Gathorp. I eat wreaths with an electric canthree boxes of Kix each day. dle in it to hang in the winAh, one, ah ,two, ah thr— ouch! dow. The little red bulb makes ’ Forgot to take out the prize, it look just like a flame. But all night long different duh. Ah, three--crunch--crunch. Bye now, the bunnies are com- guys kept knocking on the door _ ing to get me. Hoppity, hoppi- and asking me very politely if ty, hop, duh, away I go into the madame of the house was in. When I told them I wasn’t the setting sunrise. married, they looked at me kind “But, Sir... Well, it’s one of funny, shrugged their shoulof those days again. Ah, here’s ders ,and left. I can’t figure it a nice clean cut looking young out. man and what’s your name, SonMy biggest problem, though, ny?” was getting a tree. No one was . “Who wants to know?” selling them so I had to im“Well, huh. Ha! Ha! This is provise. I waited until 2:30 a.m. your friendly neighborhood sta- and then went out and choption. The station that broad- ped down a telephone pole. It makes sort of an abstract casts the truth from Radio Free tree; like modern Europe to tell you what Amer- Christmas ica’s leaders are up to now. It art. At least I won’t have any trouble with messy needles all seems foreigners know more about our country than we do. over the floor and I won’t have “Now, Sonny, please tell me to water it. I really had a time hoisting-. your name and where do you live?” “All right, nosey. Here aacat My name is Alfred E. Tiddle and I’m the president of the Horned Toad gang.” “How nice! And how long do you have to live here in this friendly neighborhood before you got this coveted title?” “Oh, I don’t live here. I live across town, but I stay with my buddy here so’sI can be close to the hideout. Hey, Buster! you don’t plan to snitch on me, 2 do ya?” 3 > “Oh, no! Ha, ha! Ooh, that 2 3 switch blade tickles. T’ll be see- >; = ing you.” “Now there’s a nice little old== lady I’m sure won't give me= any trouble, will you, Madame?”= “Who me, give you any trou-5 ble? Why, you nice young man, = what can I do for you?” “Well, isn’t that sweet? rm= a man on the street and 1. r == Sy ne “Yes I can see that.” = “Hur, anyway, I’m from the = and I=} station LITTLE-FINK, was wondering if I could ask you your name, what you do, and what’ you think about... .” “You mean I’m on the radio and millions of people can hear me? Oh, oh, how terribly deVINE, Darling. My name is Rosie and I operate that night= club over there. Swankiest little = joint you ever did see. I’m the= manager now. Our boss, Dia-= mond, is in the clink. Been in ever since the November of ’63. I imagine you read about that, though.” “Yes, well, nice to talk to you. Hope we never meet again.” “Me, too, Dearie. Bye!” “Well, I see that the time is almost out, thank goodness, so this is your roving reporter from station LITTLE-FINK signing off until tomorrow when we will once again meet America’s citizens. - “Hey, Kid. Slam the two lids of the garbage cans together. “SHOES FOR ALL Thank you. O.K., Mother, you can wake up and turn it off. T’ll be home in a minute. Surveys Surround | SOPHOMORES PLAN ACTIVITIES Scots — my tree up over the balcony and into the living room, but Fired with enthusiasm and “All right you guys, what is that’s one of the things you this? This must be about the willing to serve, the Sophomore have to live with when your tenth survey I’ve filled out to- officers: President Gary Nichoapartment is on the second day.” This comment is one be- las, Vice President Kathy Hickfloor. ing heard lately all over the en, and Secretary Connie Vigil Then I had to make a couple hallowed halls of Ben Lomond. plan a fun-filled year for the of adjustments to get the tree A seemingly ever increasing spirited Sophomores. up: one in the ceiling and one Displaying the talent of their number of surveys have circuin the roof. lated throughout Ben Lomond class, the officers have already I was afraid someone might begun thinking of plans for during the past week covering suspect I had a telephone pole a wide variety of subjects. By their assembly on February 10 in my apartment but I checked now I’m sure you are wonder- and hope to arrange a class it out this morning and I don’t ing what on earth they are all party soon. think anyone will notice. It Give them your whole-heartfor. looks like a TV antenna with Maybe you think we just have ed support and cooperation in a star on top. their activities throughout the Decorating the tree was no a large number of public spir- year to make 1964 and 65 an problem. I just hammered some ited students at Ben Lomond. outstanding year of memorable nails into it and tossed on the Although this may be true, it achievement. tinsel. If I say so myself, it’s is not the sole reason. Mrs. Boyle’s English classes got real class. After that, I fixed up Christ- have been given the assignment I’m jan American; a Free Amerof writing a 1500 to 2000 word ican, a8 mas cards. I planned it so I would save some money in the research paper based on a sur- Free to speak without Fear, long run. The cards read: “Mer- vey taken in Ben Lomond on Free to worship in my own way, ry Christmas, Happy New any subject that might provide Free to stand for what I think right, Year, Be My Valentine and interesting reading. The best of Easter Greetings. for the next these will be made available to Free to oppose what I believe wrong, five years.” Today I made ar- be published in Thistle or the Free to choose those who govrangements with the Post Of- Highlander. So brave up, Scots, it may ern my country. fice to mail them C.O.D. have been worth all that effort This heritage of Freedom I Finally, to save myself some after all. You may see your Pledge to Uphold for mytrouble during the Christmas opinions in print. self and all mankind. rush, I’ve decided to send each of my friends a check for $20 Wiguaacrecses PEPCESLOSOOCESE ; instead of a gift. Imagine how surprised they’ll be . . . when they discover I didn’t sign the checks. —Richard Des Ruisseaux, The Daily Utah Chronicle FREEDOM PLEDGE wuvwwvvuuwwy, BU QD OS retey: PNA EEN The most shoes on come from collection talked the about campus our complete of these ex- citing dress and young man styles. casual Be ee wwwwwwy aa ANA SHOES THE FAMILY” 2283 WASH. BLVD. RAMRANAARANRNABRAARARARARANNARNAAMRRNRARARRANANAANAARARRABAAARRRAARRRARRARARKR AAS RARARRARARARARARARAARARHAANRARARARANANARARARARARNANRNANARNRARRARAARAARRRANNRANRARARARARAR 2S ir theme HAPPY © TIERS: DISCOTHEQUE BOUND $30.00. Swirling tiers of filmy rayon chiffon topped by a jaunty shoe-string strap bodice. Tiny waisted bow-belt and so much snap, crackle and discothéque flair. Dance ’til the sun comes up in this swingy streak of chic. Colors: Black or Blue € | BIG SHOES ON CAMPUS | SSSSSSCESSCSSESSSCSESSOSSOECSSCOOESSSSOSCOSCOS OSCE SCOT SCOOPS or . NOVEMBER. 25, 1964 WEDNESDAY, >> SSSSSSOSSSSSSOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSE PAGE 4 :