Page 2 THE O. H. S. TIGER, MONDAY, APRIL 23, 1623 GRAVEYARD REMEMBRANCES l. Here lies the body of Donald Stark Who was shot with a knife while in Lester Park. 2. Fond memories I have of Lee M. Sailor Who was killed in an attack on a Dundee Tailor. 3. O! Happy the day when with Hilda I'd play But the sharks got that girlie while in Hudson Bay. 4. I remember distinctly our little Grace Hill. She drank moonshine and now she lies still. 5. I'll never forget old Theron Q. Jost Who fell in geyser, now ain't even toast. 6. Years have rolled by since the pass¬ing of Power Whot mis-timed the dynamite by only an hour. 7. I remember the schooldays with Mar¬garet Jones Of whom nothing remains but a couple of bones. 8. Oh! Thunder and lightning and earthquakes, Lavern Never again will she find that gas¬oline won't burn. 9. Poor little classmate, Cora MalOnie You'll never again eat Italian Macar- onie. 10. Another of our friends, a lad named Keller, Spent too darn much time in Zeller's wine celler. 11. O! Harken to news of our friend, Ralph Kenney Whose electrocution surprises many. _ Miss Vogal sallied forth to port By drinking Tanlac by the quart. 13. Miss lone Paine is not the same Because of morphine and cocaine. 14. A sad, sad tale comes to Miss Pickett Thrown off a train without a ticket 15. She was a queen, we say of Vivian Willett Who was crowned last night with an iron skillet. 16. Of Jackson comes a funny tale, Played Jonah, swallowed by a whale. 17. Miss Hardman played a funny prank Lit a match o'er a gasoline tank. 18. Mr. Bingham's quite a treat. Nothing dead on him but feet. 19. Oh! Goodness! Think of poor Arlene Just think of what she might have been. 20. Remember Folks "the good die young" Miss Beaulieu's age remains unsung. —Elmore F. Smith. —O-H-S— Ask Mrs. Coolidge What Happened On The Day Dewey Took Manilla SENSE Through aeons of time Down the channel of years, Men have sighed and cried As they've cringed from their fears. Through aeons of time Down the queer path of love. Men have sighed and cried To their Maker above. But free from fears or the bless¬ing of love Do sigh and make moan to my Father above. I long for a time, It's so far away; The invigorating capivating, 25th of May. —B. Shakespear, Shelley, Keats, Browning. Longfellow, Haw¬thorne, Edgar Guest, Wright, P. S. —(Poor Simp). —O-H-S— NONSENSE I am the ego, I! I center the world aboiit myself. The outer world might die. But I shall live in love of Self. I am the ego, I! I am the very best of men. Oh! how I pity mortal men. Who sacrifice for love and life I am above such common strife. I am the ego, I! I am the egotist supreme. About myself I sit and dream. My praises I do sing. I am the height of everything. I am the ego; I! This poem is supposed to be of a modernest type. I am not suffering from softening of the brain or the effects of an all-night party, I am merely trying to be original. I love- ingly call it "Incense." —O-H-S— AN UNUSUAL DRUGGIST Old man (ageing rapidly): Can you recommened something to keep my hair in? Druggist: Why most any candy or cigar box would do. A pair in a hammock Attempted to kiss, When all of a sudden The landed like this. Father, theer's a big black bug on the ceiling. Father (busy at work) Well, step on and leave me alone. "The last of daughters was married yesterday." "Who was the happy man?" "I was." Bridegroom: That man is the ug¬liest person I ever saw. Bride: Hush, dear, you forget yourself. Hubby: You're half an hour late. What do you mean, keeping me standing around like a fool? Wife: I can't help the way you stand. It's too deep for me said the drown¬ing man as he slowly sank to the bottom. Smitty: I'll never marry until I find a girl who is my direct opposite. Miss Beaulieu: Why, Elmore, there are many intelligent girls in this school. —O-H-S— Hart Schaffner & Marx Clothes Spring Suits & Overcoats TIGER BOX PICKUPS "Lillian," said mother severely, "there were two pieces of cake in the pantry this morning and now there is only one. How does this happen?" "I don't know," said Lillian regret¬fully, "It must have been so dark that I didn't see the other piece." Why does a woman keep her mon¬ey in her stocking instead of in the bank? It draws more interest there. Teacher: Ralph name two great women in history. Ralph: Don't know. Teacher: Yes, you do. Think of the_ pictures on the wall at home. Think of the big posters gotten out during the war. Ralph: Joan of Arc. Teacher: Now that it, think of some picture on the wall at home. Ra!ph: Oh, yes, Joan of Arc and September Morn. How much does Dayton, O? What did St. Louis, Mo.? Why is Chicago, 111? Are there flowers in the Wilming¬ton, Del? Whom did Jackson, Miss? Who's in the Philadelphia, Penn? Who made the Topeka, Kan? Teacher: Strange, your recitation reminds me of Quebec. Lamont: How come? Teacher: Built on a bluff. —O-H-S— BIOGRAPHY OF ROBERT Q. MARTIN Little Bobby Martin tried to swim. In the old tub That was filled to the brim. The water was deep, Little Bobby was small, And down to the bottom He did fall! He could not swim, He could not float,— (continued in next issue) —O-H-S— HOOKED A Story of a Poor Fish He was just from the country and chucked full of seeds, And the trousers he wore hung in bags "at his knees. He was dumber than dumb and greener than green And the bashfullest guy that I ever seen. I did not like his looks, but he nad a kind stare, So I made him my buddy, for he needed care, I taught him the ropes and dressed him in style, With loud colored clothing, you could see for a mile. And he broke out at them dances, you know, And he soon had a lady who called him her beau. He spent all the money that his old man had. On them there ladies who took him for shad. Now he is busted, he ain't got a cent, And he wrote to his dad, how he got badly bent. Said his Dad to him, "Come back to the farm, You're too slick for the city, you were meant for the barn." —O-H-S— The Lewis Co. JEWELERS IN OGDEN Since the year 1870 Figure that out Correct jewelry YOU SAVE MONEY When you invest in Mohawk "Quality" Flat Tread Cord Tires you put your money into something that will give good returns on your investment. If you buy now you save more, because there must be an advance soon. Geo. A. Lowe Co. OGDEN'S BIG HARDWARE STORE KERN'S 2459 Washington Avenue OGDEN, UTAH