and began to read it. My eyes scanned from left to right as | read. | thought of the time when | was four years MEMORIES By Sandy Fuit cher, | reached the park, | noticed that there weren't any children playing there. | guess it was because it was so chilly outside. | pulled the collar of my brown suede jacket up around my neck and started blowing on my cold hands to keep them warm. As | walked, and my sister, Joan, was ten. and |, no doubt, the student. | re- member her saying, “Kathy, what does this spell?’’ and she wrote the word CAT on the board. “Cat,’’ | said happily. ‘Spell it.’ “C-A-T."’ She wrote another word on the board. ‘And what does this spell?’ “Dog,” | replied. ‘‘No, It doesn't spell dog.'’ she screamed. ‘‘It spells duck. D-U-C-K. Not dog, you big stupid." Duck." | said stupidly. ‘| don't want play school. You're a mean teacher.’ ‘Shut up’ and spell dog,’’ she yelled. | just sat there with my mouth shut tightly. “Well, aren't you going to spell dog?” she screached ‘No. You just say shut up. | don't like you.’ : ‘You're dumb." She yelled. She picked up the chalk and threw it at me as she stomped out of the room. | still can remember seeing her mad red face and the dirty look she gave me as she went out of the room. | just sat there and cried. | looked down at the letter again and finished reading it but did not put it back in the envelope. | just stood there hoiding it tight in my cold numb hands, staring at the fine printed hand writing on the page. | thought of the time when | was about eight years old. Mom made Joan take | walked slowly down the street towards the neighborhood park. The sidewalk was covered with dry shriveled-up leaves that crunched like corn flakes when | stepped on them. As | walked, the wind blew my hair back off my shoulders and scattered the leaves farther on down the | looked down at my faded sidewalk. blue levis and my tennis shoes with the holes in the toes. | looked up embarrassed to see if anyone was looking at me in my shabby clothes. No one was around so | kicked at the leaves and just messed around. There was nothing better to do on this chilly autumn Saturday afternoon. When old We were sitting on our bed with a chalkboard that we had received on Christmas the year before. Joan was playing tea- | could hear the clanging of the chains on the swings as the wind softly blew them against the side of the pole and the rustling sound of leaves as they scattered along the sidewalk. Occasionally | could hear a car go by in the distance. | walked over to the swings and squeezed myself into the lifeless leather seat. The chains were cold on my hands as | backed up and let myself swing freely at a steady pace. As | was swinging, | took the letter | had just received out of my coat pocket. It was postmarked from Northern Virginia and | knew then that it was from my twenty-three year old sister. She is now married and has a new baby daughter. As | sat there swinging, | realized how we used to hate each other when we were little and how we've grown to love each other dearly. | pulled the letter from the envelope me to the movies one hot Saturday after- noon. She put up a big fight and started making up excuses but finally had to give in, because Mom insisted. | can remember Mom saying as we walked out the front door, “Now Joan, you hold Kathy's hand when you cross the street and be sure to keep an eye on her.'’ She was always over-protective. i “And Kathy," she looked directly at me, you mind what Joan tells you, Now you two have a good time.’ We walked silently down the street. Joan was tall and slender with short stringy blonde hair. She never combed her hair unless she really had to. Her large blue eyes made her pretty, even though she didn't comb~her hair. Finally she blurted out, ‘Kathy, why don't you take those gawky glasses off!'’ Why?" | asked stupidly. “Because they look so ugly on you." “| can't help it. If | take them off, won't be able to see good."’ Then | shot back with “You afraid your boyfriends gonna see ya with me?” ! No!" she screamed back at me. ‘Just take them off, would ya? I'd feel a lot better if you did.’’ ) “Oh, all right.”’ | said as | took them off and held them in my sweaty hand. Everything went fuzzy when | did but | had to do what she. said or she would smack me on the head. She could sure hit hard too! | know now that she couldn't help but be embarrassed when she was with me because | really was ugly. I had long blonde hair that | always wore in a pony tail and these really ugly round funny looking glasses that covered up my slanty, close-spaced eyes. | was always snotty i ve too. No wonder she hated me so ad. We walked on for a while in silence then finally | said, ‘Don't step on a crack or you'll break your mother’s back."’ Purposely Joan stepped on a crack. Joan, you stepped on a crack." | wailed. ‘You wait till | get home and tell Momma on you.” The only reason | step on cracks is cause I’m wishing you'd break your big mouth,’ she stated. “You always tattle SO much." | changed the subject fast. | could tell She was getting mad. “Why does that Ugly boy named Whookie ride his dumb horse over to our house every day now? He got a crush on you or something?" It's none of your business and_ his name's not Whookie. It's Clyde Jones.” 14 “Whookie sure sounds a lot better than Clyde Jones,"’ | said smartley. | then started singing at the top of my voice, “Joan loves POLL ee wee oN ST ae Joan loves Whookie.”’ _ Now that | think back, it seems so ridiculous to me but then we hated each other. For some reason we just couldn't get along. The six years between us sure did make a big difference. | remember the time when | was ten years old, and she was a teenager so crazy about parties, dates, and telephones, One night she was having a bunch of kids over to a pizza party. She was supposed to be watching me while Mom and Dad were out for the evening. | Whenever she had friends over, she al- ways made me go to bed. | never could stay up and watch what was going on. | can still hear her saying, ‘Kathy, you have to go to bed now." She tried to be sweet in front of all her friends. ‘No, | pouted, ‘'l don't have to. You don't boss me around.”’ “Yes | do. Now go to bed."' She was getting impatient. | want to stay up and watch you guys." | whined. “No, Now go to bed!"’ I'm not going to bed. You can't make me.’’ | started to cry now. She turned around and went into Mom's bedroom to get the hairbrush. | knew what she was going to do with the hairbrush so | turned around and scampered down the stairs to my bedroom. She chased right after me, and | jumped on the bed just before she got to me. | started screaming, ‘‘I'm telling Mom on you if you dare hit me with that brush. She'll kick your butt if you hit me and she Il ground you too!" | started bawling like crazy. That hairbrush hurt worse than anything I've ever felt before. | knew. She had hit me with it before. Now go to bed,’ she screamed. She turned the light off and stomped back 1p a Whookie, “You'd better shut your mouth," she said sternly, ‘‘or | won't take you to the show.” : | knew she was serious now so | stopped teasing her and walked quietly the rest of the way to the show.