mount those very unwelcome stairs. Every slow step upwards has with it the torture and anguish of the devil's dwelling. Higher and higher I go. Anguish and more torture racks my unworthy earthly body until I feel as though I will sluff my class. I cannot do this as it is against my principles. As I reach the top of the stairs, the pain and anguish leaves my brain and I am free to think of the seriousness of my situation. As I go through the door, I lean on the sill and thence on the black¬board for support. I then struggle to my seat. Forty-five minutes later, I skip out of the room and frolick to the stairs. Down those welcome steps I go as a starving man goes to food. Through the halls I canter and down some more stairs and to my next class. As I arrive, I am asked why I am so happy and frisky. In reply, I answer that I got through my Eng¬lish class without being prepared.— Yur Sun. P. S.: It isn't worth it. THEN CAME THE DAWN Royal Cragun — Do you think Bertha will object? Cliff Larsen—Oh well, I can take pictures as well as any one in a camera club. Mr. Hancock—Speaking of bed¬bugs- Mr. Widdison — And now he is taking a long vacation at Atlanta. Frank McQuen—I get my Spanish in my English class. Bud Wardle—That guy is going to call me his little butter-cup just once too often. Dean Morrin—Yea—I went duck huntin'. Elmer Mumford — I don't crave feminine companionship any more. I hate women. All of 'em.—Yur Sun. 9. MEMBERS GAIN CLUBBENEFITS Clever Conversationalist Activities Include Informal Debates OGDEN HIGH SCHOOL NEWS Emily Merrill, Editor; Blaine Lar¬sen, Associate Editor. Mr. Robbins' "Clever Conversa¬tionalists club" is progressing rap¬idly with its purpose of improving the oral composition of its mem¬bers. Among the varied activities of the club are informal debates on topics of current interest to the school. They have turned out very successfully. News articles and individual talks on a variety of sub¬jects furnish valued information on points of interest to everyone. This week the members are reading Christmas stories and poems. The girls are deriving great benefit from their English work in these meet¬ings.—Reporter. EL DORADO. O, El Dorado, land of mystery and fabulous riches! Many have sought you. None has found you. Are you a real city or are you the golden horizon that always glim¬mers just a little beyond our mor¬tal reach—a beautiful dream that eludes our memory? Whatever you are is a secret that the centuries have kept enclosed in tight lips. People scoff at your followers. Poor souls! If they have reached the pinnacle of success how dull their life must be. To always be reaching forward with hands and mind is the joy of life. Scoff all you want at us, crea¬tures of perfection, but we chasers of dreams are laughing at you. You have arrived. There is nothing to anticipate or to wonder at. No pleasant surprise awaits you around the corners. The rim of the goblet containing the sweet nectar of the immortals touches our lips; for you the cup lies dashed to tiny pieces on the floor at your feet.—Barbara Clark. D. O. M'KAY SPEAKER. The assembly last Friday was ar¬ranged by the A. D. M. club. Darhle Jones, president of this organization, had charge of the program. After a number of announcements, Cathryn Malan sang two selections, "My Wild Irish Rose,' and "Memories." The speaker of the day was David O. McKay, a high official of the L. D. S. church. Mr. McKay thrill¬ed the student body with the story of his experiences in Samoa and Egypt. We heartily thank Mr. McKay and the A. D. M. club for presenting such an enjoyable program. REPORT. Hear ye! Hear ye! To all whom this may concern: The senior pledge members of Alpha Sigma were of late initiated with all pomp and ceremony, into said club. HOW TO BECOME GENIUS. Much advice has been given on I how to become a genius. Some people say genius is a natural gift. I contend genius is not a natural inheritance but a trait that can be developed if you have a dogged de-termination to reach this goal and are willing to put forth great ef¬fort. However, it is a more simple matter if you know how to go about it. The first step is choosing a sub¬ject of study as electricity, medi¬cine, writing, or some other field of interest. Obtain all possible ma¬terial. Study this until you can quote great lengths of it and have assimilated it in thought and un¬derstanding. Now conduct a number of experiments. If you are so un-fortunate as to die from the results, your life may be considered to have been given for a great cause. If you are fortunate enough to live through these experiences, con¬tinue with your study. Listen to speakers who expound upon the subject in which you are interested. You may be able to glean a little more information, disregarding the fact that by this time you should know more than any other man on this particular line. After having studied all material, having discovered new theories of your own, having learned what all men know, and having acted ac¬cordingly, you may rest assured that, although you may die poor, your name will have a definite place in the "Hall of Fame."—Dariel Richards. BRIGHT REMARKS. Bob Buswell (reading his theme) —The organization is very com¬mendable, and without being osten-tatious—etc., etc. Toots (when asked the location of radiator No. 67 3/4)—How should I know? I only work here. Spanish class (when Mr. Han¬cock becomes exasperated with the lack of attention)—Go right on with your discourse; you aren't bother¬ing us. Nevin Facer (in a boastful mood) —These teachers may be tough, but I'm tougher. Here comes a teacher now! I'd better duck before he sees me and gets scared. Admirer from afar (in library last period)—Who is that cute little red-head in the second seat of the second row from the windows?—Joe Whooist. Pat D:—Work is measured in poundal foots. Miss Ballinger—On Monday afternoons a number of students come absent. Alan N. (to Mr. G. Smith)—You (old slave-driver, you. Tom F.—An erg is a premature egg. Wayne B.—A stoic is what brings babies. Mr. G. Hansen (when the class is laughing at nothing)—You may be looking at something funny, but just remember that I look at a lot more funny things every day.— .Count Those Sheep. 10. PUPILS GETTING BASKETS READY FOR NEEDY ONES Ogden High School Doing Charity By Advisory Room System OGDEN HIGH SCHOOL NEWS Emily Merrill, Editor; Blaine Lar¬sen, Associate Editor. This year every advisory room at Ogden High school is playing Santa Claus by preparing Christmas bas-kets for poor and destitute families. This is a custom that has been an¬nually observed during previous years, a custom that is representa¬tive of the good fellowship which prevails among the students. Delicious dainties—cakes, pies, candies, jellies—tantalizing dishes of chicken, turkey, peas, carrots, po-tatoes, and fruits will be only a part of the food which will decorate the tables of the poor on account of the generosity of Ogden High school students. Each member of the sec¬ond period class will bring his con¬tributions of food and clothing for the class basket. By Thursday noon approximately thirty-two Christmas baskets will be ready for distribu¬tion. Indeed, Ogden High school is cer¬tainly doing its part in the main¬tenance of the Christmas spirit.